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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what's the beef with benefits?

631 replies

mytartanscarf · 04/01/2015 14:33

Do people think they are too little? That they should be more?

There's always a lot of upset on here about them - about how wrong the government are and how awful life is on benefits. I've never been on benefits so obviously can't judge. But what are the solutions?

I suppose I am asking what should the government do?

OP posts:
BackOnlyBriefly · 04/01/2015 20:36

handcream you say you shouldn't expect the state to pay for you when it doesn't work out with your choice of man.

What should you do? Assume the guy has buggered off leaving you with a small child and no money.

Please explain the proper procedure that mature sensible people would follow on that day.

ghostyslovesheep · 04/01/2015 20:37

with Tax Credits - at least my CM did

you either don't understand the points people have made about zero hours or you are just being obtuse

do you work?

EatShitDerek · 04/01/2015 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

handcream · 04/01/2015 20:41

There are some who choose to be a SAHM and then when their partner leaves them wonder where it all went wrong. They then are unable or unwilling to take a job because their partner who they clearly knew little about has left then without a penny.

Of course they believe the state should support them, they don't want to leave the area to find something because they don't want to leave friends and family, they won't take a zero hrs contract and they have lost some of the skills they had when they were working.

But the good old state will support them...

ghostyslovesheep · 04/01/2015 20:41

yeah I was immature and stupid when my husband left me for another woman while I was on maternity leave with dd3 - planned btw

I was 39 and you know married and everything Hmm

EatShitDerek · 04/01/2015 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FloatIsRechargedNow · 04/01/2015 20:44

I think it's shtill poshable to be on benefits and eat beef? Did I mish shumthing and am I wrong?
Shurely not by gummy. What's that noise..eh what?.. Quiet over there. Yes, now, where were we...the benefits of berf, no beef, yes it's quitew beneficiakl,b well ye4s sonitv is. I say.

Dawndonnaagain · 04/01/2015 20:44

Besides self employed people never know if they'll get enough work to cover their expenses. Yet they don't just say, oh well, better claim benefits instead, just in case I don't get enough.....
No, but they usually get themselves into a reasonably safe position before becoming self employed, eg. having contracts in place and money to tide them over for a period. Not something people can always do. Unexpected redundancies, such as those announced by Citylink on Christmas Day don't leave people in a position of security, do they?

ghostyslovesheep · 04/01/2015 20:46

I know Derek I was only with him for 12 years - so silly to jump in so soon :(

Dawndonnaagain · 04/01/2015 20:47

handcream Stop victim blaming and come up with a reasonable scenario for goodness sake. How do you know that the person who chooses to stay at home, and on benefits isn't looking after a child with undiagnosed special needs, said mum can see her child is struggling so decides to stay at home until child is secure/diagnosed. You don't. You just lump all single mothers into a group labelled feckless.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 04/01/2015 20:48

I thought you weren't allowed to turn down a job just because it was a zero hours contract?

That's right. So you effectively put yourself in an even more precarious position.

ghostspirit · 04/01/2015 20:48

handcream... i dont think a single mum should have to up and leave the area she knows and has a support system on her own with her child/children just to isolate herself and end up with no support... kids are finding it hard as dad pissed off. so lets move the kids away from their friends and family and fuck them up some more....

long time ago now but my dad was with my mum for over 20 years. she pissed of and left him with us kids. yep after 20 years he knew nothing about her... how would you know people knew little about their partners?

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt · 04/01/2015 20:49

"they won't take a zero hour contract"

Do you work on a zero hour contract, handcream? Do you know exactly what it entails?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/01/2015 20:57

Dawn, glad you mentioned that, my DD is autistic and its taken her a very long time to get where she is now.

And do you know the toll it takes on you mentally waiting to hear back from job applications or how you feel when you walk into the bloody jobcentre, making you feel like shit on someones shoe. I've battled with depression since DD was born, being a jobseeker and constantly rejected.

Do you know what I did when I realised Sainsburys werent gonna extend my contract. I sobbed my fucking heart out, sobbed so hard I had a headache, because the thought of going back to bloody benefits made me want to curl and die.

So dont lump everyone on benefits in the "Lazy fuckers" box, because some of us dont wanna be there.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 04/01/2015 20:57

Let me tell you about zero hours contracts.

You're told you'll "probably" have 35 hours. Eventually.
You get nowhere near that. You keep trying.
One week you have 20 hours. The next you have 10 hours. Then they are short handed and you get 40 hours.
The benefits system implodes at that. It can't cope with anything other than regular hours and one pay rate.

Before you know it you're apparently earning at 40 hours a week and you're quids in. Right? NO. Then the council, HMRC and everyone else who wants a piece of you is demanding their share.

THAT'S WHY IT'S A PROBLEM.

handcream · 04/01/2015 21:00

Of course I know what a zero hrs contract is. I wouldn't have one myself. I live in the ?E, didn't give up work when I had children because I didn't want to lose my skills and also didn't want to be reliant on my partner or put the pressure on him to earn all the money for the household.

I have been with the same company for years. I could have left, earned a little more and have had times when I was ready to chuck it in, but didn't. Company doesn't have complusory redundancies and never will for all sorts of reasons.

I have friends and relatives who have relationships that haven't worked out. I have rarely heard them say 'what can I learn from this and how can I protect myself better next time'. Marriages have a 50% chance of working out and live in relationships less, that is the biggest red flag for me.

We had no help with childcare, parents are too old and PIL live 4 hours away.

Original poster
mytartanscarf · 04/01/2015 21:01

To be honest I am on a zero hour contract but you never actually get zero hours.

it is easier to ask about it then decide.

OP posts:
LuisSuarezTeeth · 04/01/2015 21:01

Then you have Dawn. Such a drain on society.

Except she and her family are NOT! Dawn is a highly intelligent and valuable member of society, as is her DH and DC. But they still have to contend with ignorant attitudes and absurd posturing about "benefits".

Ok, my soap box fell apart, my benefits couldn't support it any more. Wink

LuisSuarezTeeth · 04/01/2015 21:02

You wouldn't have one handcream? How lovely to have the choice.

LeftyLoony · 04/01/2015 21:03

I'm a PROPER drain, me Grin
Dawn's an amateur compared.

handcream · 04/01/2015 21:04

How have I got the choice and others haven't, it's not all just luck is it?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/01/2015 21:07

My friend was on a zero hour contract, several times she really did have zero hours.

FloatIsRechargedNow · 04/01/2015 21:07

And that's why I have stayed self-employed for over 20 years, during everything, to still be able to NOT have to explain myself to anybody. I have and have had many things and for the past few years and a few more I care for my autistic son. That's more info than you need to know - but it makes no difference to any of us. I have the freedom to make decisions so lucky, lucky me.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/01/2015 21:09

You know, I was planning to write a book about what its like to live on benefits for some people and the lengths they go to ensure they can eat.

LeftyLoony · 04/01/2015 21:11

Who knows, handcream?
You could be permanently disabled tomorrow. Then we'll ask you about 'choices'.