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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to poke my friend in the eye... for telling my dd

35 replies

ghostspirit · 03/01/2015 20:15

my daughter is 17. she went to meet my friend today. she like a nan to my kids. daughter came home saying mum i found out something about you today... i asked what's that. that when you was pregnant you took an over dose of antidepressants. this was 13 years ago and i have never told my daughter about it she did not need to know... my friend had also said it infront of my daughters boyfriend. anyway i made up some crap and said oh no 'j' has misunderstood it. i said the doc gave me a dose that was to high for my body to cope with and it made me very dopey/sleepy... i said i had not told her because its not relevant... but im still pissed of that she told my daughter.

OP posts:
afreshstartplease · 03/01/2015 20:16

Err Yeh why would your friend think That appropriate

Oppugno · 03/01/2015 20:17

I would be absolutely fuming, what was she thinking?!

YANBU to go over there, say your piece and then poke her in the eye.

fuctifino · 03/01/2015 20:17

Wow, it's not exactly her place to tell is it?!

So no, ynbu.

Are you going to talk to your friend about it?

OhShittingHenry · 03/01/2015 20:17

Instead of poking her in the eye do you think maybe you should have a serious conversation with her about boundaries and appropriate comments?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 03/01/2015 20:20

was joking about the poke in the eye. but yeah maybe i should speak to her. might be that this time... next time could be something else. theres not loads of things but there are a couple of things my kids dont need to know about

OP posts:
MuttonCadet · 03/01/2015 20:22

Totally inappropriate, what the hell was she thinking? Confused

ChoochiWoo · 03/01/2015 20:25

omg!!!Shock Angry ..ring her now and ask her what the hell she was thinking.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 03/01/2015 20:25

she probably wasn't thinking... Hmm

OP posts:
AnaisB · 03/01/2015 20:27

that's totally out of order

HolyTerror · 03/01/2015 20:32

Of course you're not unreasonable to be furious - she had absolutely no right to say this, and knew can only wonder what in God's name she thought she was doing. I would let her feel the full weight of my wrath in your shoes, OP.

On the other hand -which is not in the least to justify her appalling action - if your friends know about the overdose and, like this idiot, cannot be trusted to keep their mouths shut on a sensitive matter, you probably need to find a sensitive way of telling her the truth. Did she believe your story?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 03/01/2015 20:41

no one else knows about it. yeah my daughter did believe it. if it was a recent thing i would still hate it but part of me would see why it may come out... but 13 years ago i dont need to answer to something that happend 13 years ago ffs

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 03/01/2015 21:37

Your daughter is nearly an adult. What if she starts talking about the time a doctor could have killed you? Asks you once it has sunk in whether the GP was prosecuted? What is she starts to mistrust GPs when she needs medicine? But most likely, what if she works out you are lying to her?

Your friend was absolutely wrong to tell her, and frankly I'd question my friendship over that. It's not something that just slips out. It puts you in an awful position now, but I would seriously consider telling your daughter the truth.

IAmNotAMindReader · 03/01/2015 21:59

She's not your friend.

LeSquigh · 03/01/2015 23:05

YANBU. Go kick her in the cunt poke her in the eye right now.

TheHermitCrab · 03/01/2015 23:34

Your "friend" was completely out of order and you need to tell her.

BUT I don't think it was wise at all to lie to your daughter about it. A big mistake in my opinion once the info was out, but that's your choice.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 04/01/2015 02:04

iamnotamindreader.... she is my friend shes just pissed me of thats all. been no harm done in this case hoping it was a one off...

hahaah lesquigh :P

OP posts:
CrazyOldBagLady · 04/01/2015 02:34

She is a cunt. There is no other explanation.

TheHermitCrab · 04/01/2015 02:36

No harm done? You took an overdose while pregnant, your daughter was told, you've lied to your daughter to cover it up.... Hmm

ohdearitshappeningtome · 04/01/2015 02:42

What was wrong with your daughter being told the truth?

If this was my mum I would be almighty fucked off she lied....

Waltermittythesequel · 04/01/2015 02:49

No harm done? ?

Bulbasaur · 04/01/2015 02:55

If this was my mum I would be almighty fucked off she lied...

Then you would not be mature enough to understand the implications of the truth. I'd be more concerned with the fact that my mother did something like that, not upset she lied about something she obviously wasn't ready to talk about with me yet.

You need to never disclose secrets to that friend again have a talk to your friend about boundaries and how it is never ok to disclose something told in confidence. Personally, I don't think I'd be friends with her after that. That's a damn big secret that she had no right to tell your child.

Cabrinha · 04/01/2015 10:30

No harm done?
What about when she tells the same story to the your younger child, the one you were pregnant with, that you would have killed with you if you had succeeded?
Not something I'd want to hear.

calmexterior · 04/01/2015 10:39

What an absolute bitch.

KnackeredMerrily · 04/01/2015 10:43

What's wrobg with telling someone when she was 4 her Mum tried to kill herself?! Can't believe someone thinks that needs an explanation.

Yy to "your friend is a cunt"

Viviennemary · 04/01/2015 10:44

Your friend had absolutelyl no right to tell your DD. I would cut the friend off from today onwards. She's a stirrer of the worse kind.