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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be horrified at the thought of this?

64 replies

FourthMary · 03/01/2015 11:41

Dsd has very kindly invited ds to her swimming party, lovely that she wants him to go. However as he is 3, he can't go in unaccompanied, so I will have to go in with him. Dh can't due to a skin condition.

The thought of being practically stripped bare in front of their mum, family and friends is giving me palpitations.

I need to get a grip or do a quick 10 day diet, work out

OP posts:

Chocolateteacake · 04/01/2015 12:59

I see plenty of girls in birkinis at the pool, even a full Monty hijabini ( made that word up but all you can see are her eyes, hands and feet.

BertieBotts · 04/01/2015 13:02

I'm shocked so many people would feel uncomfortable doing this. Says something very sad about our society that people are made to feel so bad about themselves. I'm sure you're all gorgeous whatever your size.

MissBattleaxe · 04/01/2015 13:07

To be honest with big ten year olds, inflatable stuff and a general boisterousness, I wouldn't take a 3 year old because he's just a bit young for that sort of rowdiness in water.

I would say thank you very nicely for the invite, but take the 3 yo to a nearby park or some such and meet up for the party food.

Laquitar · 04/01/2015 13:55

Blimey you sound nice OP.
Too nice.
Are you going to put yourself under stress just because you dont want to upset them?

What would have happened if you had an important meeting that day and you didnt go to the party? Nobody would die. So just say 'oops smth came up'.

And i know that most men wouldnt stress about their body in the pool and yes it is sad that we do but also most men wouldnt feel so guilty for not going to a pool party. With ex and family there.

you can give both children a post-birthday treat like an ice-skating folkowed by hot chocolate or crepe?

DoJo · 05/01/2015 10:30

To be honest with big ten year olds, inflatable stuff and a general boisterousness, I wouldn't take a 3 year old because he's just a bit young for that sort of rowdiness in water.

I think it really depends on the 3 year old - my 2 year old LOVES it during half term when they have inflatable days at the pool!

MarjorieMelon · 05/01/2015 10:39

Firstly I would double check that he is allowed to attend. A 3 year old would not be allowed to attend an inflatable party at our local pool.

I detest swimming and it's the one thing I won't do. Thankfully ds has only been invited to one pool party and dh attended, they don't tend to be popular the mum of ds's classmate complained to dh that hardly anyone accepted the invite.

When my children were very young I think I offended a few mums when I said I wasn't interested in meet-ups at the pool. It just isn't my thing and fortunately the children have dh to
take them swimming so they are not missing out.

zippyandbungle · 05/01/2015 10:45

I would explain he is too little to join in but will come and watch and have cake after.

Pyjamaramadrama · 05/01/2015 11:12

I'm really surprised at the amount of people who won't get in a pool because they feel self conscious.

Serious question why is this? Ok I get that you body is on show, no make up, we're not at our best in the pool. But everyone is in the same boat at the swimming pool. At my local two pools nobody looks great and you see all sorts of shapes and sizes. You're only exposed for seconds until you enter the water, and really nobody is looking at you because they're all too concerned about what they're doing themselves. It seems almost a bit vain to be so worried about it.

To the op I get it's slightly different to the norm of going swimming if you'll be the only adult in the pool. Whether I'd go would depend on how much dsd wants you to. It would be a nice thing to do, but if you really can't face it then make your excuses, it won't be the end of the world.

Jackie0 · 05/01/2015 11:14

She was only being polite , don't go.

MrsDiesel · 05/01/2015 11:42

I wouldn't take a three year old when it is a load of 10yeard olds and that would be my excuse, he is too little.

I am going to be really honest and say that I have no problems getting into a pool normally but I would be uncomfortable in front of the ex of my current partner. That is because if I were the ex, I know I would be comparing and judging. Sorry if that paints me in a bad light but I wouldn't be able to help myself. I compare myself to the ex with our clothes on! Luckily I have a better figure than her.

Sparks1007 · 05/01/2015 11:54

This thread is so depressing. It isn't just anyone's birthday. They're brother and sister. Go, stay at the shallow end, join in the birthday singing etc and go home.

emotionsecho · 05/01/2015 11:57

OP has said that her dsd wants her to be on her team for the relay so I hardly think OP is being asked out of politeness. Her dsd wants her there, all the other children won't give a flying fig what OP looks like in a swimming costume, she will just be super cool step mum for joining in with them all.

Go OP, your ds and dsd will think you are the best mum/step mum ever, no one else's opinion matters.

Pyjamaramadrama · 05/01/2015 12:02

I don't get why adult women with children to worry about would be comparing each others bodies. It's the stuff of trashy magazines.

Sure I might swap mine with Jennifer Lopez if I could but I'm mostly just glad that it's all in working order.

Pyjamaramadrama · 05/01/2015 12:03

I agree much better to be the cool fun mum and step mum than the one looking prettiest at the side of the pool.

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