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AIBU?

to be horrified at the thought of this?

64 replies

FourthMary · 03/01/2015 11:41

Dsd has very kindly invited ds to her swimming party, lovely that she wants him to go. However as he is 3, he can't go in unaccompanied, so I will have to go in with him. Dh can't due to a skin condition.

The thought of being practically stripped bare in front of their mum, family and friends is giving me palpitations.

I need to get a grip or do a quick 10 day diet, work out

OP posts:

Report

meerschweinchen · 03/01/2015 16:20

I think it's lovely that your dsd wants both you and her half brother there. Shows you must have a good relationship.

I too wouldn't be keen at the idea of everyone seeing me in my swimming costume though! Difficult one. Is there anyone else you could rope in to look after your Ds in the pool, and you watch from the side? Does your Dh have a brother or older nieces / nephews who wouldn't mind?

PuppyMonkey · 03/01/2015 16:20

Life is much, much too short for kids' pool parties. Just say no.

RJnomore · 03/01/2015 16:21

Why can't the dad take him into the pool? Surely he will be going as well as it is also his daughters birthday party?

Apologies if I have misunderstood the thread, I am trying to diet and it does not agree with me.

RJnomore · 03/01/2015 16:22

Oh yes I misread sorry it may be time to eat something.

Cover DH in Vaseline as a barrier cream and shove him in?

MissWimpyDimple · 03/01/2015 16:24

Omg. That's my worst nightmare .
I think you have to get out of it somehow.

Blanketontheground · 03/01/2015 16:24

People will be taking pictures. I wouldn't do it. I'm not vain just self conscious.

JessieMcJessie · 03/01/2015 16:25

It's plainly stated in the OP that the father has a skin condition!

Showy · 03/01/2015 16:28

Oh gawd, are you me? DD's best friends in the world have left her school and gone private. They're having a pool party and have kindly invited dd. And 3yo ds. DS knows. He is so excited. Mummy is taking him swimming. In front of a group of clothed adults she has never met before. Joy. Deep, deep joy.

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 03/01/2015 16:35

It's not that bad. No one will be looking at you, truly. And going on the inflatables isn't compulsory (although it is great fun).

DoJo · 03/01/2015 16:43

Also, the bit where you're 'in your swimsuit' is just the walk to the pool - once you're in, you will be underwater and nobody will be looking, plus you will have a three year old to strategically place in front of you.

Honestly, I am completely sympathetic to the feeling of not wanting to do something because people will be looking at you when you are at your most vulnerable, but don't let it stop you from doing things that would otherwise make you, your son and your step daughter happy as that only compounds the problem.

DealForTheKids · 03/01/2015 16:50

I haven't anything helpful to add but I once had to share a hot tub with DH's size six ex girlfriend, OP, so I feel every inch of your pain. (group holiday, would have been a total sad sack to refuse to get in, everyone would have known why). I did however survive it and her thoughts on my body didnt affect me one jot once it was over, so there's every chance you can make it through. I did however have before, which I cant imagine is readily available at the local pool...

INickedAName · 03/01/2015 17:04

Try to act confident. It's easy to say I know but I found that on the times I was couldn't get out of swimming my fiddling and demeanour drew more attention than my body did if that makes sense.

Totally understand your nerves though and hope it's not as bad as you fear.

HerrenaHarridan · 03/01/2015 17:20

I wouldn't. End of

FourthMary · 03/01/2015 17:32

Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions, the last thing I want to do is upset or offend anyone, so will do my very best to brazen it out, whilst all the while hoping it gets cancelled for some obscure reason.

I can't wear swimsuits as my body is too long, so it will have to be the most flattering tankini I can find and a bit of waterproof makeup. Ds will be held close to me at all times, good suggestion wondering how I can wrap him around waist and bum, without looking to odd.

To say I am dreading it is an understatement.

OP posts:

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 03/01/2015 17:39

Arf! @ wrapping him strategically round your waist.

I once sat through a swimming party watching everyone have a fabulous time and cursing the fact I was missing out because of my own stupid insecurities.
The next time there was one I joined in. Got told off by the attendant for swimming under the inflatables rope and everything

Snoopytwist · 03/01/2015 17:42

Can you already be in the pool before everyone else gets there? That would at least cut out the long walk from the changing rooms to the pool. Oh, and when you get out of the pool, use the steps - don't attempt to lift yourself out - steps are much more flattering! (speaks from experience)... I feel your pain.

Vvvoom · 03/01/2015 17:57

If you do it you will be a hero mum and stepmum. I so wouldn't though!

FourthMary · 03/01/2015 18:17

I am glad it's not just me who is recoiling at the idea though and that swimsuit with an audience is fairly normal.

OP posts:

MavisG · 03/01/2015 18:23

That voice in your head pointing out your flaws, making you feel self conscious? Tell her to Fuck. Off. There's nothing wrong with your body if it can facilitate your having fun in a pool with your kid. Anyone judging your waist or bum is a) shallow and b) insecure.

How lovely that DSD wants you & DS there.

misskatamari · 04/01/2015 10:51

I totally agree with Mavis! Just think if the fun DS and DSD will have. I'm sure the only person judging you will be yourself - everyone else will probably be thinking how fab you are to be in the pool having a great time with the kids!

differentnameforthis · 04/01/2015 11:44

Shorts & tshirt over your bathers.

hoobypickypicky · 04/01/2015 11:52

You're bolder than me. I can't abide swimming or even the smell of chlorine and would have immediately thanked DSD and declined. There would have been no dilemma about it!

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CheeseBuster · 04/01/2015 11:58

I think it's really lovely that your dsd wants you and DS there. Could you maybe get in towards the end when the children are less excited and the family have got bored watching and gone for a coffee?

I think finding an excuse or saying no would be poor form but I understand your hesitation.

MewlingQuim · 04/01/2015 12:13

Wearing shorts and t shirt or a wetsuit to a pool party would be ridiculous. Are you really so concerned that someone would look at your figure that you would consider wearing something so daft? They would certainly look and criticise then

I have very pale skin and very dark body hair. I cannot shave/wax my entire body and I am a bit understatement self concious of it. Once I am in the water no one can see anything except my head and I have never noticed anyone pointing and staring.

Just wear a normal swimsuit and have fun

itsbetterthanabox · 04/01/2015 12:31

I wish covering swimwear existed. It's ridiculous we are meant to wear so little. Did anyone see the documentary Jo Brand did on water? She had a very cool spotty swimsuit that was like calf length leggings and a long tunic with sleeves. Looked fab, I want it!

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