To wish I waited to have kids.

[notnow2]

I had my first dc when I was 27 because it was what I really wanted. I have 3 now - they are 3,5,7. I am 35 and now a lot of my friends are having babies and I feel broody and a little jealous. I enjoyed my babies but it was hard work and I feel that it went by in a blur. I feel that the best part of my life is over andcibsjould have waited to experience it.

I was 25&28 when I had mine and often wish I'd waited although for different reasons - I regret not having my late twenties to travel and be selfish and live a life. BUT as a pp said, I couldn't have guaranteed having the easy pregnancies and births I had, nor the two lovely DC I have now. Lots of my friends are still a way off having babies (we're all early thirties) and all my mum friends are a good 5-15yrs older than me, but now youngest is 3 and we're planning a family sabbatical around South America in 2 yrs, I'm really looking forward to doing more grown up stuff with mine, glad to be out of nappies for the first time in 6yrs - I'm hoping to do at least some of the traveling I feel I've missed out on, but now with my DC in tow so we can take it at a slower pace anyway.

I am however sad that my DC's cousins will be so much younger as my brother is 3.5yrs younger than me anyway and won't be having DC of his own for a few years.

How do you really feel Derek? :o

I know what you mean. I'd just turned 25 when I had DS so I wasn't that young, but I was the first of my close friends to have a baby. Now they're in the toddler/baby stage (though I have one of those too) and there I am with my galumphing seven year old who is jabbering on about Minecraft and generally just running around like a bull in a china shop.

But I've got a 19 month old now and am due to have DC3 in the spring, right after my 33rd birthday. I'm already much more tired than I was with DS and I'm wondering how it's all going to go. There are definitely pros and cons to both.

I would have loved to have had a baby at 27, I was so broody then I could hardly bear it. I'm jealous! Except I'm not because I could have ended up with a small version of XH I had to wait until I was 35 and it seemed so old... but most of my friends seem to be having 2 after 40.

In what world is having babies ever anything other than hard work and going by in a blur? Talk to your kids about how it was when they were babies, especially if you're seeing other babies - I found that could help the memories to come to the surface and combat the broodiness by reminding me just how ill and tired I felt most of the time when ds was tiny!

Surely there's pros and cons to whatever age you have children - I am late 50s and had my DS at 43 - so my friends are enjoying weekends away in cultural cities, going to art galleries, theatres etc etc and I am standing on a rugby pitch at weekends . One of my school friends has even managed to retire on a great pension and is having a wonderful life .

I am 33 and just had my first 5 1/2 weeks ago. I can barely remember earlier than yesterday, it's all a blur! Am glad I didn't have him any earlier though, at least I still have lovely memories of partying til 6am and fabulous overseas trips while wandering wild-eyed round the house in my nighty at 2pm with my boob hanging out

I am the opposite.

I wish I had started much earlier. My sisters did and so did my neices. So now my sisters are young grans and have the best of all worlds.

I will be an old nanna (if I am lucky enough to be at all).

Still I get to be a young great aunt so that is pretty good!

I had mine in mid 20's now are teens, I have friends with newborns, mine will both be adults by the time I am 45.So although I found it hard sometimes to be the first to have children mine will also be adults first. Swings and roundabouts !

Derek my dad had his first at 18 and his brother had his first (and only) at 42. A year after that I made my dad a grandpa. :)

My parents had my brother at 18/19 and me at 21/22 (my dad is six months younger than my mom). In the year 2000 they turned 40, my brother turned 21, and I turned 18 and moved out.

So they quit work, started their own businesses (successfully) and have spent the last 14 years doing whatever the hell they've wanted. It's not a bad life. :) But their younger lives (my brother's and my childhoods) were a bit of a struggle and I think some of those things may have been easier if they'd been older. So, pros and cons for sure.

Yanbu - I wish I waited a bit too sometimes. I was 26 and 28. Only been with my now husband a year when I fell preggers. He's older than me. I just sometimes wish we'd done more travelling more going out more everything lol! Xxx

I had my dc between the ages of 34 and 37. The upside was that I was financially secure, had had many fantastic holidays, senior position career wise etc.

The downside? My parents had me in their late 30s as did my DH's parents. My 2 dc have already lost 2 GPs and the eldest is only 6. My mum isn't physically capable of doing an awful lot with the dc.

I was recently envious of my NDN. She is expecting a surprise 4th baby. She has her 1st in her mid 20s so is young enough to have a 4th without the associated risks of having babies in your 40s.

So enjoy the family you have got. Your DH does not want more and his wishes must be respected on this one.

OP three pregnancies and three babies in seven years would be hard work for anyone.

And the older you are, the harder the toll on your body.

My advice is to find friends who are at the same life stage as you. Don't rely on old friends whose lives may now have gone on a different path.

Would you really want start having children at 35? unlikely you would had 3 then and you would been older so less energy.

I had my first at 22, now that was too young and I wish I was 30 when I had my first. 35 my cut off age to having any more babies.

rebecca my DH is always emphatic that he is glad he had his family at 30 ( twins).

He knows so many peers with young children, especially from second marriages and thinks they look knackered .

They're also going to have to work a lot longer!

There are pros and cons to each. We all follow our own paths don't we?

Personally, knowing the health problems that often come with growing older I'm glad I had children fairly young.

I am also 35, mine are 7 and 4. I LOVE the independence now of no pushchair, no change bag, no nappies... I just take one each by the hand and off we go. I've also gone back to work now and it's such a relief not having the hefty childcare bills.

I look back on the few years I spent as a SAHM with two preschoolers as a lovely distant memory, but I certainly wouldn't want to go back to it!

I think it is putting the new baby idea to rest, deep down I will always want another go at the baby days - even after 10 babies. DH is right our family is complete and I am just in love with the idea of a newborn.

For me it was a balance of 'I feel I've done enough to not feel like I've missed out' and 'I'd better get cracking I'm not getting any younger'. I was 30 when I had DS (16m) and plan to have another in the next year or so while I'm still relatively young and fit, and hopefully I'll still have some life in me by the time they are adults.