Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu or is my ex husband?

73 replies

vintagecrap · 29/12/2014 18:06

It's dd' s birthday in a month. .she has just had loads for xmas. Big families on both sides and couldn't want for anything.

She needs a new bike.

I can't afford one on my own.

She has xmas money and wants to put it towards it.

He has refused. He said she can't spend money on something to be kept at mine. Which is where she lives 26 days out of every 30.

She told me not to ask him as he would say no and he never listens. She was right.

So. Aibu to think it's ok for a child to put xmas or birthday money into a bigger present that they wouldn't otherwise have.

OP posts:
Original poster
vintagecrap · 29/12/2014 21:18

It just makes me really sad for dd.
And then cross.

He will reap what he sows but again, that will still be sad for her.

It's just crap. She is such a lovely girl and doesn't deserve how he treats her.

OP posts:
PrimroseMcLeish · 29/12/2014 21:30

Check freecycle, you might get one for nothing.

BruthasTortoise · 29/12/2014 21:31

My DSS's Mum has always done this, anything that the kids get at her house stays there. It's faintly ridiculous as they end up with clothes which they maybe wear twice before they've outgrown them, toys which they lose interest in before they play with and money which vanishes before they ever spend it but we find it easier just to not question it. YANBU but it won't change.

PrimroseMcLeish · 29/12/2014 21:33

just to show good deals are out there

Theselittlelightsofmine · 29/12/2014 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KnackeredMerrily · 29/12/2014 21:50

Ask on Freecycle andpost on your local Facebook selling page. As said, people may have 2 bikes and need to get rid of one.

Your ex is being an arse of course, but there's fuck all you can do about that.

Dancingincircles · 29/12/2014 21:56

I have bought excellent bikes on gumtree and eBay and they have all been really cheap and looked like new and good makes too.

Original poster
vintagecrap · 29/12/2014 22:00

I'm in Suffolk

OP posts:
Theselittlelightsofmine · 29/12/2014 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
vintagecrap · 29/12/2014 22:35

I don't want to put anyone to any trouble. Bit if possible that would be very kind of you.

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 29/12/2014 22:43

Vintage - take the offer! And if he asks you can say you have no need for his help, you have sorted it.

RandomMess · 29/12/2014 22:50

What a nasty controlling arse he is Angry

OMG 4 nights per month so he refuses to let her have her things at her main home.

Check out Tesco for bike stuff like mudguards.

Pannacotta · 29/12/2014 22:52

I have problems like this with my ex though re smaller things liek clothes etc and I try to double up, I bought second hand school uniform etc.
If the offer here doesn't work out then do look at Gumtree/ebay every week and you will find something.
And yes your ex is a controlling arse, as another poster said.

TrendStopper · 29/12/2014 22:56

My dd has 3 bikes in her time and 3 or 4 helmets. Total cost has been about 50 quid. We always get good quality second hand bikes. One was a tenner from a charity shop. You can get helmets in argos for less than 20 pounds. The price that u have quoted seems far too high. Are u sure u arent being taken for a ride?

JuxaSnogUndertheMistletoe · 30/12/2014 00:09

So can she write to her grandparents explaining the situation? It may be the thing which changes everything. If they know he won't let her take their presents home then they may be able to shame him into putting an end to this silliness.

Theselittlelightsofmine · 30/12/2014 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleSwift · 30/12/2014 01:13

Bikes aren't That expensive , look on your local facebook selling pages and gumtree. I got one in amazing condition for £20. I got mudguards from the £shop and I cycle all over and they do the job.

saintlyjimjams · 30/12/2014 08:51

m.preloved.co.uk/m/showadvert/112105786/ladies-mountain-bike.html There's loads on preloved, one for a tenner (although it said 14 plus)

saintlyjimjams · 30/12/2014 08:54

Here's the Suffolk bike search page m.preloved.co.uk/m/listadverts/3523?keyword=bike%20suffolk

I'd have a good look around & ask on freecycle as well.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 30/12/2014 21:08

Do you have a local independent wh would maybe let you buy a bike with regular payments in advance (rather than having the bike first).

Our local bike shop, who we've been using since I first learnt to ride a bike, has for our dc's bikes let us choose them and then friends/family pop in and put money down on them. We pay the difference if there is any then the bike is set up appropriately for dc and off we go. They look after us really well so in the last 2.5 years we've probably had 7-8 bikes from them!

Minisoksmakehardwork · 30/12/2014 21:08
  • I will point out we are a family of 6!
FlowerFairy2014 · 30/12/2014 21:23

How strange. Also how would he know? My children's father sometimes has given them money for Christmas and the money goes into their possession and then he would not know what it was used for.

Original poster
vintagecrap · 01/01/2015 19:15

Because the money doesn't go into her possession. ....

Anyway.... We have been given a bike. A raileigh one. For free!

Going to get it serviced. ..and dd will be over the moon..

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page