The next election will turn on this vital issue.
The Tories will promise legislation to ensure that no one will ever have to wait more than an hour to get their vital supplies of marrons glacés.
UKIP will campaign for them to be banned because they're foreign muck.
The Greens will try to get people to think about the hideous conditions in which the chestnuts have been reared, with secret video footage from battery chestnut farms and eyewitness testimony from whistleblowing former candying operatives.
A PR executive parachuted into a northern ex-coalmining constituency as the Labour candidate will be caught on camera exclaiming 'Oh, marrons glacés and pistachio icecream, awesome!' when her host is in fact offering her a plate of Brain's faggots with mushy peas.
The Scots Nats will have them distributed to every household free of charge as a way of marking the Auld Alliance between Scotland and France, in the halcyon days before the Union of the Crowns.
Plaid Cymru will rush through legislation to protect a Welsh version involving balls of seaweed coated in lard.
The LibDems will formulate a policy for marrons glacés that succeeds in upsetting 95% of the electorate and they will lose every single seat they contest, forcing the party to disband two days after the election.
See what you've started, OP? 