To put someone else's child in time out?

[Allisgood1]

Hypothetical question.

Dd1 (6) is having a sleepover tomorrow night. Only 3 kids plus her and only 2 of those actually staying the night.

One of the children is...lets just say spirited. When I had her to stay in the summer she literally destroyed my house. I caught her throwing toys out of drawers all over the playroom, emptying dd wardrobe and dresser, and rolling all the toilet roll on the floor. She also opened the front door and left the house around 8am with dd in tow (DH luckily saw this and brought them back in).

Call me crazy but we've invite her to said sleepover as that was 6 months ago (and kids mature, right?!). Anyway, my plan tomorrow eve is to sit all kids down and tell them the "rules", I.e. "Don't destroy my house". Strike 1 will be time out and strike 2 is you're going home.

AIBU or is that fair enough?

I think it's good of you to include this child, regardless of her 'spiritedness'. My initial thought was 'why have her back' but that's a particularly ungenerous thought and not one I apply to children with behavioural problems in RL!

I would say, be clear about boundaries. With visiting children, I'm quite clear and firm about 'in our house, we do this instead'.

I instigate a 'quiet time' whenever necessary but this is usually applied to all children, not to single out one.

The reason for this being that in a larger group of children, it is often the dynamic and energy between them all which escalates one or two beyond their own control. Not their fault, just a symptom of fun!

It's not about punishment, it's about effective management.

Sugar free feast contains:

-sausages
-twiglets
-cheese and crackers
-clementines
-apples

They've just eaten their pizza and are now tidying up before I put them on the floor with blankets and movie so far, so good!

In school the teachers use time outs, they have a thinking chair.

As long as it's not smacking I don't really care how other people decide on punishment.

If I trust another adult enough to leave my DS with them, I trust them enough to tell them off in a way that's appropriate, and when necessary.

YANBU.

I wouldn't do the rules thing to be honest, and it puts all the misbehavior right there in the front of their mind. You will have a house of impulsive 6 year olds doing exactly what you told them not to because that is exactly what they're thinking about.

Don't believe me. Tell a group of six year olds a rule is not to bounce or fidget in their chairs. Watch all the children who were previously sitting still start to bounce and fidget.

Children will absolutely live up to your expectations, good or bad.

So, I'd just catch them as they do it and tell them what you want them to do. "Put toys away" instead of "Don't make a mess" or "Walk!" instead of "Don't run".

Messes are to be expected at sleep overs, as are crumbs, spilled drinks, and not going to bed on time. You can't expect six year olds to act like teens or adults. You've already set them up for failure by inviting them to a party where they'll be wound up with excitement, you'll have to make some allowances for rambunctious behavior.

And.. yes, your house, you can put the kids in time out. I have no problem putting a child in time out while the parent is standing right there if it's at my place.

ywnbu
I'm known as 'shouty aunty' by dn who can ba a bit, erm, wild and their das is a dinet dad, never wishing to upset his child...

I can confirm said sleepover was a success. No incidents. I laid out the rules clearly when they arrived and they listened

Wonderful, good news