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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross MIL didn't warn us she was ill

46 replies

grumpalumpgrumped · 26/12/2014 22:40

Turned up to MIL house today for pre arranged visit, she was very poorly with a bad chest. Had we know I would have stayed home with DS1 (6) who is an asthmatic. Was really cross and just wanted to turn around and go home.

I don't think she gets how poorly a chest infection can make him Sad

Now feel guilty as my face probably said it all.

OP posts:
onthematleavecountdown · 26/12/2014 22:43

Did you stay or go home?

OldLadyKnows · 26/12/2014 22:51

Is/was her "bad chest" infectious/contagious?

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 26/12/2014 22:59

Literally had a flying visit, made our excuses and left. (yes should have said why but didn't want to create scene).

She had a heavy cold/cough so guessing infectious.

OP posts:
Theboodythatrocked · 26/12/2014 23:02

Totally understand you being cross.

We would warn people.

Lots wouldn't though and nowt to do with intelligence or relationship.

26Point2Miles · 26/12/2014 23:02

How does he cope with school? Kids don't generally stay home forthis kind of thing

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 26/12/2014 23:08

I doubt a child would have been well enough for school. And I have to send him to school but we didn't have to visit today.

Maybe IABU but the thought of having a poorly DS when it could be avoided makes me annoyed. Guess I am a little over protective of him.

OP posts:
KnackeredMerrily · 26/12/2014 23:11

As I was about to hand my newborn over to my BIL (who was about to take him) MIL warned me he'd been throwing up all night.

Thanks for bringing the norovirus to my house on Christmas day when I have a 14 day old and a toddler!!! Angry

I know I know it's Christmas [grumble grumble] Xmas Angry

MrsMcTavish · 26/12/2014 23:15

Oh my god knackered that's awful, and downright stupid and selfish of him to visit you with the norovirus.

I hope none of you come down with it.

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 26/12/2014 23:17

knackeredmerrily Angry that is spectacuarly selfish. Did you bleach him BIL that is.

OP posts:
KnackeredMerrily · 26/12/2014 23:30

He snuggled into my Christmas throw all day which was a present Xmas Sad

I am so unhouse-proud, but I have washed blankets and towels already, bleached bathroom the moment he left and prayed.

I'm hopeful he actually had food poisoning rather than norovirus but we're still in the incubation period...

MrsMcTavish · 26/12/2014 23:34

Reminds me of the time we went to SIL's house and she was laughing saying her sons kept doing horrible smelling burps and saying it must be because they'd both been sick the day before!

This was after we'd eaten a meal there and been there for 2 hours!

We then all came down with the bug. I was so angry that I refused to have anything to do with SIL for ages.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 26/12/2014 23:54

No agree I'd be annoyed as well.

Went to See a relative yesterday and one member plonked herself down on the sofa next to me playing with pet turtle, put it back, didn't was her hands and touched a whole load of other stuff, me DS2 and elderly relative there all with compromised immune systems, wished I'd said something but wasn't sure how bad the Salmonella/turtle thing was til I looked it up when I got home.

Spadequeen · 26/12/2014 23:57

Not in the same league at all but I remember being furious with sil when she'd used my hairbrush for her kids hair then after I'd done my girls, told me they had nits. Fucking great, thanks for that

glampinggaloshes · 27/12/2014 00:55

Would be annoyed. Have had my dd 2 with pneumonia. On oxygen fri a cough cold this Xmas. Nits shut and scary. She gets asthmatic post vial colds. Tell your family and friends they have to warn you. The last few days in hospital. Terrified with toddler on Nebs and oxygen. And surrounded by other kids from 3mths up. Too bloody awful and not worth anyone's sensitivities for a moment

glampinggaloshes · 27/12/2014 00:59

Sorry about typos. But with a seriously child and this cough cold ibeing so so nasty., means you don't worry for a minute about anyone but your baby.

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 27/12/2014 07:51

glampinggaloshes Sorry to hear that, hope she gets better soon. It is scary when they are so poorly. We were back and forwards to the hospital with DS1 when he was 5mths all over Christmas as he has bronchiolitis then a bad chest infection

OP posts:
JenniferGovernment · 27/12/2014 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPepperMintonCandyCane · 27/12/2014 09:49

I remember years ago offering to have my niece so that my SIL could go and get some food shopping a week before christmas. My niece was under a year old and my DS was just over a year old. She bought her with a streaming cold and temperature and was gone four hours. I just remember sitting with her crying on my one knee and my DS crying on the other and feeling awful because I couldn't settle her. We were all ill for Christmas then too Sad

PunkrockerGirl · 27/12/2014 10:00

To be fair, knackered, if your bil was well enough to visit you on Christmas day, he didn't have norovirus. Of course he shouldn't have visited you if he was unwell but norovirus involves far more than one night of throwing up.

It's like people with a cold saying they've got the flu. These days every minor stomach upset is attributed to norovirus. Confused

Hope your dc are ok though.

gatewalker · 27/12/2014 10:07

"norovirus involves far more than one night of throwing up."

Completely disagree, PunkrockerGirl. It can and frequently does involve one night of throwing up. He will still be contagious within 48 hours of his last vomit.

PunkrockerGirl · 27/12/2014 10:11

We'll have to agree to disagree on that one, gate. I frequently nurse patients with norovirus and there's no way on God's earth they'd feel well enough for a bit of Christmas socialising after a night of vomiting.

Badgerwife · 27/12/2014 10:22

My MIL had norovirus a couple of weeks ago and she puked for 4 days and nights, lost lots of weight and lost huge chunks of her memory of what happened due to how weak, out of it and poorly she was. She kept passing out trying to get out of bed and my FIL had to call an ambulance in the end as he thought she was going to die.

A night of vomiting (or the 24 hr bug) tends to be gastroenteritis and what we call the usual stomach flu. Norovirus is something else altogether.

Badgerwife · 27/12/2014 10:23

Thankfully I have reasonable PIL and they stayed at home for Christmas and we skyped, instead of risking overdoing it and passing anything on.

Notanoldbat · 27/12/2014 10:26

YANBU to be upset and it was thoughtless of her not to have cancelled the visit. Why anyone wants to have guests with a heavy cold is beyond me although if it's the big Boxing Day thing maybe she thought she had no choice but to go ahead. She should at least have called and offered you the choice. It's very difficult with an asthmatic child.

PunkrockerGirl · 27/12/2014 10:36

My work colleague had norovirus. Diarrhoea and vomiting for about 4 days and feeling awful for at least 2 weeks after. She ended up in hospital, she and her family genuinely thought she was going to die.

That's why I get a bit Confused when people say they've got/had norovirus after 12 hours of vomiting and feeling well enough to go out the next day. You haven't.