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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this dog should have been on a lead

248 replies

Doginthepark · 26/12/2014 17:39

Took DS to the park today and we were kicking his new Frozen ball around. A dog came charging up and grabbed the ball and popped it. DS cried. Aibu to think the dog should have been on a lead?

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 27/12/2014 13:55

Sir You have my deepest sympathies having to go to Ikea right now. I could not actually cope

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 27/12/2014 14:11

I don't have a dog, so no axe to grind.

People need to accept that they are not the only species on the planet and it is shared with animals. Dogs have as much right to be places as people do. Yes, they need to be on a lead or under voice control so as to cause as little inconvenience to others as possible, but that applies to children as well.

JohnCusacksWife · 27/12/2014 14:46

My dogs recall used to be excellent and so he was very rarely on his lead. Now, in his dotage, his recall is poor because he's now deaf as a post and simply can't hear you calling him. However, as he just walks along, a few yards ahead of me and ignores everyone, including most dogs, he's still off the lead most of the time. Our being there affects nobody and certainly doesn't impede their ability to use the same parks, canal banks & pathways.

Feellikescrooge · 27/12/2014 14:59

Hate to break it to SirC but worse things will happen to all DCs than a dog bursting their ball, getting an apology and the money to replace the said ball. A little resilience is needed. It is a quality children seem to have less and less as they are pandered to more and more.

In life not everyone feels that children are the most important things on the planet. Many a previous thread has been about badly behaved children disrupting others' meals etc. the OP's DC will barely remember this event next week unless a big deal is made about it by adults. Recently on a walk I saw a child of about 8/9 having hysterics because there were cows in a nearby field. The parents picked him up and carried him; the cows were at least 100 m away.

However I do feel sad for the OP's DC it is horrible when something new is damaged whatever your age.

MehsMum · 27/12/2014 15:31

SirChenjin, 95% of the time on non-dog threads I agree with what you have to say, but on dog threads I fear we will never see eye to eye:
I'm afraid if you take an dog (unleashed or otherwise) to an area where there are people then people will trump your dog every time.
For now, I accept that my dogs are trumped by people... but, reading this thread, I have begun to wonder: how is it that Joe Bloggs's right to go for a walk without seeing a dog trumps my right to stand out in the park chucking a ball for my dog? That the right of a bunch of kids to play footer trumps the right of a bunch of dog walkers to enjoy their dogs together? (And no, I am NOT in favour of dogs who jump up, have no recall, knock children over, and whose owner do not pick up their shit. Just to be clear there).

There have also been comments along the lines of, Well, dog-folk, go and walk your dogs in the middle of nowhere where there is no one to bother. I wish it was only so easy. But the middle of nowhere contains birdwatchers, crops (farmers), livestock (more farmers), game (and gamekeepers), demon cyclists on footpaths... I could go on.

Feellikescrooge · 27/12/2014 15:41

Well I live pretty much in the middle of nowhere but still cannot walk my dog in peace!

maddy68 · 27/12/2014 15:45

It's an accident they offered to buy you a new one
If dogs were always on a lead they would never have the opportunity to run. That's not very nice is it?

judydoes · 27/12/2014 22:57

I feel sorry for the OP, too but I agree 100% with mehsmum regarding what some children are treated like. They won't be the centre of everyone's universe as they grow up and they shouldn't be set up for disappointment by parent's behaving as if It's a devastating situation each time something goes wrong.

The child's feeling matters. As does the dog's and the dog's owner. It wasn't a really bad situation, but it wasn't pleasant and it got amended the best it could. The parent should assist in making the child understand that.

hmc · 27/12/2014 23:20

Am sure that Elephantspoo is all talk and bluster, and in RL is a spineless wimp who wouldn't dare kick a dog for merely wandering into her (his) path...after all unless you are 6 feet 5, built like a brick shit house and well 'ard this is a very risky strategy which may well provoke a violent and extreme reaction from the owner (not so much the dog)

GraysAnalogy · 27/12/2014 23:47

If anyone kicked my dog it wouldn't be the dog they'd have to worry about.

chopinbabe · 28/12/2014 01:47

People are more important than dogs and children are the most important of people.

I think dogs should be banned from parks, where it is possible that they might cause distress to a child: my friend's dear child screams whenever she sees a dog approaching and no amount of reassurance will do the trick. It can't be pleasant for the dog or its owner.

Dogs could have a designated field or even, at a push, use a council car park after 6.

Parks are for children first, then other adults.

KatieKaye · 28/12/2014 05:51

Parks are most definitely not for children first. Why do you wish to exclude the majority of society from parks? Parks are for the community, whether or not they have children.

Your friend needs to work with her child to help her over come this extreme reaction to merely seeing a dog. She clearly needs help. And yes, it must be extremely annoying to anyone in the vicinity. The child has a phobia and she must be distressed. Your friend cannot possibly think she can live life without ever encountering a dog.

Also, the child's screams could distract an assistance dog or other children with sensory processing disorders.

Would it be reasonable to suggest she is therefore kept away from parks? No, of course not. Just as it is not reasonable to suggest that sensible dog owners who are considerate of others are not banned from parks either. This child has an extreme reaction and she needs help, not to pretend that dogs do not exist.

judydoes · 28/12/2014 08:10

I thought chopin was being sarcastic Blush .

Like it or not, dogs and people with dogs, who like them, exist. If this is true, your friend is doing the child absolutely no favours whatsoever. I agree with katie .

LePetitMarseillais · 28/12/2014 08:33

If a dog or anybody can't cope with screams,the park is the last place they should be.

My child has a dog phobia caused from being bitten by a dog with an irresponsible owner,he has also been jumped on by another dog.He doesn't like it,we don't like it,but you can't just click your fingers and make a phobia go away.

Personally I'd either like to see tougher penalties for owners or dog runs in parks like they have in the US.

OttiliaVonBCup · 28/12/2014 08:43

You also can't just click your fingers and make all dogs disappear.

My dog has never been anything than lovely and I have never been anything but responsible around him.

I don't think we should be banned to a council car park after 6, as wax so helpfully suggested uptread.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 28/12/2014 08:46

I wonder if this will be the last dog hating thread of the year?

Backtobedlam · 28/12/2014 08:50

I'm very surprised how many over entitled parents seem to think that parks are first and foremost for their little darlings. What about people who don't have children and never will? They still pay taxes towards maintaining these communal places. Or would it be fair to say those who arent a 'priority' don't have to pay towards the upkeep of these places?

LePetitMarseillais · 28/12/2014 08:53

I am utterly sick to death of my kids being barked at,bounded on,jumped on,having their personal space invaded and yes bitten by dogs off leads.

Dog bites went up 6% last year and that is only the more serious reported bites.

Sorry I think owners should be held more to a count for the behaviour of their dogs off leads.If your dog minds it's own business,doesn't chase,doesn't jump on strangers,doesn't bark in an aggressive way up close,doesn't bite or invade the space of strangers I don't have an issue with their off lead behaviour.

OttiliaVonBCup · 28/12/2014 08:54

Why Bedlam, they ought to be honoured to be contributing to someone's else children, of course.

I'll get flamed now but my dog is more important to me that someone else's child.

KatieKaye · 28/12/2014 09:03

Why, petit?

If a child with SEN can't cope with screams should they be kept from the park too? Or should this child be receiving treatment for her irrational phobia? (Nothing has been said about the child being bitten or scared by a dog, just that she is phobic.)

You don't treat phobias by saying the cause should be banned. If a child had bitten your DS and he then screamed when he saw another child, you would surely realise he needed help.

LePetitMarseillais · 28/12/2014 09:06

I beg your pardon.

Do you not think we and our dog owning friends haven't tried to help him?HmmYou really know little re living with a phobia,do tell us all how to click our fingers and sort it out,we're all ears.

Loving your logic that the hoards of kids with dog phobias who cry,can't contain their fear and get frankly terrified should not go to parks?Grin

LePetitMarseillais · 28/12/2014 09:12

Oh and pretty often the fear re dogs is reinforced.You can say breath,he'll just walk on by,he's not interested in you- yada yada until the cows come home but pretty often the dog won't walk on by,he will bound over to you and bark thus starting the whole thing over again.

Re flying or any other phobia the simple fact is your fears won't be realised with dogs it isn't the case in a child's eyes.They don't want to be jumped on,have their personal space invaded or to be barked any more than they want to be bitten.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 28/12/2014 09:14

Loving your logic that the hoards of kids with dog phobias who cry,can't contain their fear and get frankly terrified should not go to parks?

You suggested that dogs or anyone who can't cope with screams shouldn't go to parks, which is exactly the same thing.

LePetitMarseillais · 28/12/2014 09:20

But parks are often built specifically for children and ime those with sensory issues do avoid triggers ie crowded transport etc because it is part and parcel of that environment.

Going to a park isn't supposed to mean being terrified by off lead out of control dogs invading your space,it is supposed to be an area with well behaved dogs that don't invade space off leads and badly behaved dogs on leads.

LePetitMarseillais · 28/12/2014 09:21

Any park will have screaming whether it be in excitement or fear.