AIBU to think that the majority of women in the UK get very good postnatal care

[Wheelsonthebus123]

Clearly the other thread demonstrates that for a significant number of women postnatal care is falling massively short of where it should be. My experience earlier this year and that of most women who I have spoken to who gave birth locally (in the same hospital as me ) was that of nothing but praise for the midwifes, doctors and service as a whole. I personally had planned to try for a home birth to avoid the hospital experience altogether but was transferred into hospital at the last minute and ended up on the postnatal ward for 3 nights, the first two of which were required medically. The third night I choose to stay in due to the high level of care and support I was receiving for help establishing breastfeeding which like for many had a problematic and rocky start. This was at a big city hospital with lots of patients not a small birthing centre. Anyone else think that the postnatal service they received personally was first class and was pleasantly surprised by the quality of care?

Hmm. With DS2 I was in for about 4 nights post CS having had a major post partum hemorrhage (requiring further surgical intervention) and DS was in the NICU with a collapsed lung. I wasn't in there out of choice & I wasn't treating it like a mini break. Would have given my right arm for both of us to be at home. It was the better of my 2 post natal experiences, by way of reference.

The attitudes of some the posters on here are staggering. I can only hope they are trolls. If not, the NHS is in bigger trouble than I thought.

Runner I received fantastic care after my minor operation to remove my appendix.
I had meals brought to me, was wheeled around at first then supported when I attempted walking the first few times.
After my caesarean (major abdominal surgery) I was left to walk repeatedly to SCBU and back to feed my baby, left without pain relief and treated like utter shit.
I didn't expect anyone to be at my beck and call- I just expected basic care and consideration . I received neither.

I think that the reaction of some, to stories of poor treatment, with "well you must simply be selfish and weak", is pretty grim actually

To all those who had a shitty time

Oh ffs, Runner and Micah. Have you not read the horror stories on the other PN ward thread? How can you hear about experiences like those and still think the biggest problem with PN wards is women lacking a "sense of proportion" or "wanting a nurse to do everything for them"?

"most postnatal women have DPs to help during the day"

Gosh, that's a bit of an assumption.

I suppose that some do have other people to look after their elder DC so their DH/DP is available, but I really don't think that necessarily means 'most'.

I went through DC1 as a zombie, took own discharge with DC2 (as it was so grim, mainly because of insufficient staff and superabundant noise) and with DC3 refused to fo to post natal ward at all.

most postnatal women have DPs to help during the day

And at any rate, it's the nights that are the worst, presicely because that's when women are expected to cope completely alone, and not get a wink of sleep.

I experienced four births and stayed in two different hospitals. The postnatal ward in both hospitals was more of a holding bay than a place for caring for women.

Like Blueballoon79, I received far better care after having my appendix removed.

I have a problem with this thread because its a thread about a thread and effectively by its very nature suggests that because the 'majority of women' get excellent care that we should all be massively grateful to the NHS.

Because you see, a significant minority of women are getting truly appalling care. And EVERYONE should get excellent care within the NHS which is supposed to be equal.

This thread belittles those who have had bad experiences, and no disrespect to the hardworking staff out there, but the women who have the bad experiences are really the ones who matter and who we should be listening to most.

And I speak as someone who had an antenatal and postnatal care which was whilst not perfect, was quite frankly pretty amazingly good.

I do not blame those other posters on this thread who are upset. You have a very genuine reason to be. This thread is at best insensitive.

Bit odd to assume that for people complaining, it was their first stay in hospital. I've had multiple major surgeries and plenty of hospital visits before I had DD. The only time I have ever been anything other than completely satisfied with my care was from that first postnatal stay. I understand that experiences differ but it just seems bizarre to essentially accuse people who have had a bad experience of making it up, or over-reacting. My second post natal stay (I had to stay in for 5 days, both times, because of my blood pressure) was fantastic. My first was a living nightmare. No big deal, I'm over it now but it still happened.

OP agreed that she wbu and apologised for any unintended offence caused by this thread a few pages back, about 8th post of the thread.

considering our high (by developed world standards) perinatal mortality rates, yabu imo, as our health care is obviously lacking somewhere, or more babies would survive

Oh and there was no way I could have picked up DS out of his cot. The bed had a mechanism and the cot was right next to the bed. However I'm too short and my arms are too short. I couldn't physically even reach his hand to hold it never mind lift him.

Obviously whoever designed them, did it with people over at least 5' 5" in height in mind. which makes it sound very much like they were designed by men doesn't it?

Well Christina I don't think that admission shuts down a thread and frankly if I were the OP I would have asked for this thoughtless thread to be deleted.

I've had three kids in the last 15 years. All the care was shit, especially after birth.

I think the trouble is that for many women it is a combination of their first stay in hospital and an overly romanticised expected birth experience. When compared to other wards, where the people are ill (most postnatal women are not ill) and visitors are limited (most postnatal women have DPs to help during the day), then the post natal ward is a lot more hearts and flowers and hand hold-y than the rest of the hospital.

Whilst I was in the postnatal ward, a close friend was in a packed oncology inpatient ward elsewhere in the same hospital. The oncology ward was significantly more "hearts and flowers" than the postnatal ward, if that's what you want to call it.

Like other posters, I heard other women weeping constantly in the postnatal ward (not just me); and out of many people who I knew and have since met who had babies at the same hospital, the only ones who told me they had good postnatal care were the ones who delivered in the MLU and didn't go to the postnatal ward at all. It's known for being awful (it's not St Thomas's by the way) - one woman I met afterwards told me her postnatal care in the same ward was so bad, including a near-miss medical error by midwives, that her husband started documenting it with detailed notes (he's a lawyer), on the expectation that they would have to sue - it was only when they saw him doing that that the care became even acceptable. Another woman I met at a party, also a lawyer, told me that not only had she been left in the same PN ward without a single obs for 24hrs after a section, her own firm had dealt with several lawsuits against the hospital for errors in delivery and PN care.

Obviously that's all anecdotal too. But pretty much everyone in this town gives birth there and I've only heard bad stories about the PN ward. So for me, no, OP, I don't think the vast majority of women get fantastic postnatal care. I think under the NHS lots get good, sometimes excellent, clinical care at the point of labour and delivery. Babies are looked after well. I think postnatal care for the woman is pretty awful in this country, actually, and has a huge amount to do with our very high rates of PND.

Saying that hardly any women die any more so the care must therefore be good, is a bit like saying that not that many people kill themselves, really, so NHS mental health services must be just peachy. We all know they aren't. Trauma and poor treatment matters, and yes it is a feminist issue.

Bloody hell I loved it where I gave birth. In fact, all my experiences with the NHS have been positive ( complicated deliveries, major surgery, chronic medical conditions) so maybe I was lucky or maybe things are better up north!

Could mn do a poll?

most postnatal women are not ill

I'm musing here about whether a man in any situation, who had been through a long and painful ordeal, possibly without any pain relief, who might well have had a great deal of medical intervention and painful and invasive examinations, who might well have feared for his and his child's life, and then maybe had large areas of his genitals cut open with scissors and then sewn up again (again, possibly without pain relief), then had had large blood loss, no sleep, and was in shock, might be told he was not ill. I'm really struggling to think of when that kind of experience might happen to a man and it be brushed aside as not very much. So why is birth treated in this "you're not ill just get on with it" way, just because it happens to women?

For women who are lucky enough to have uncomplicated vaginal deliveries they may be physically fit and well afterwards. My sister in law was one of them - shopping in Tesco the next morning after a 6-hour labour with no pain relief and not even a graze. Those women are discharged, they don't even GO to the postnatal ward. Whereas, I had an emergency forceps delivery with NO PAIN RELIEF, yes no spinal, no epidural, no nerve block, nothing; an episiotomy and a "complex" 2degree tear on top, which was so painful I couldn't walk well for several days (or sit properly for months); had no sleep and was utterly traumatised. I wasn't in the postnatal ward for some kind of luxury mini-break, I was ILL. Sorry if that doesn't fit with the "women in the postnatal ward are not ill, they can get their own toast" narrative.

Mine was meh. I certainly wouldn't describe it as 'very good'. By the time I had my third baby I knew just to get out of the hospital ASAP, and luckily I was in a good enough condition to do so.

A low point after my second birth was when, having had no sleep for 48 hours, and endured two surgeries as well as a transfusion, I was then woken on the hour all night for reasons like 'Well I wanted to let you know that the doctor will be here in a while to give you some IV antibiotics.' First of all why did they have to wake me at 3am to tell me that, and second of all why did the doctor never actually turn up with the antibiotics?

I've had several surgeries and have always been treated extremely well on the surgical ward, with attentive staff (two nurses to help me go to the loo for instance), adequate pain relief and discharge only when appropriate, with a full complement of prescription painkillers. Last major op I was on a morphine drip for three days. Oh, no, wait. The last major op I had only paracetamol for a painkiller (and then only when sobbing in agony after nobody answered the bell), was left with no assistance at all when I needed to get up for the loo after less than 12 hours, and was sent home only a few hours after that, with no sleep for 24 hours, no painkillers except instrucrions to take over the counter paracrtamol despite being close to passing out from pain. Oh and of course a baby to take care of. Why is it acceptable to treat a patient who has just had their abdomen cut right open like this just because they happen to have had a baby? If it happened anywhere else in the hospital there would be an outcry. But mothers are 'not ill' and just making a fuss if they expect basic care and human dignity. Hearts and flowers? Bollocks to that. I have never felt so vulnerable and abandoned in all my life. It is institutionalised misogyny.

I had good care during labour but on the antenatal/ postnatal ward it was rubbish. Ignored patronised and made to feel a nuisance for needing help post section.