AIBU to think that the majority of women in the UK get very good postnatal care

[Wheelsonthebus123]

Clearly the other thread demonstrates that for a significant number of women postnatal care is falling massively short of where it should be. My experience earlier this year and that of most women who I have spoken to who gave birth locally (in the same hospital as me ) was that of nothing but praise for the midwifes, doctors and service as a whole. I personally had planned to try for a home birth to avoid the hospital experience altogether but was transferred into hospital at the last minute and ended up on the postnatal ward for 3 nights, the first two of which were required medically. The third night I choose to stay in due to the high level of care and support I was receiving for help establishing breastfeeding which like for many had a problematic and rocky start. This was at a big city hospital with lots of patients not a small birthing centre. Anyone else think that the postnatal service they received personally was first class and was pleasantly surprised by the quality of care?

The OP has already said she accepts she IBU.

And in fairness she's not invalidating anybody's experience, she acknowledges right at the top that those experiences are real and valid and care fell short of where it should be.

I saw this thread as more like the Positive Birth Movement type stuff where women are encouraged to share good experiences. I have to say for me personally (my real lived experience) I spent ages reading the Positive Birth Movement page on Facebook before giving birth because I had heard so many negative accounts including a friend who sent me a detailed email of his daughter's poor care and life-changing birth injuries the week before my due date, not entirely what I needed at the time. I think poor care is sadly way too common.

My own care was great (Queen Charlotte & Chelsea birth centre, A++ would birth again) but that doesn't mean that anybody else's negative experience isn't valid or shouldn't be aired.

Do people really buzz a nurse to come pick their baby up and pass it to them?

I had an emcs and elcs and neither time did that even occur to me. Pull the cot right next to the bed, use the bed mechanism to sit up, pick up baby using arms rather than ab muscles.

maybe it's my years of working in the nhs but I'd only buzz a nurse if something was urgent and I really couldn't do anything about it myself.

Micah - yes, you have to buzz if someone has moved the cot totally out of reach. Not all beds have electronic mechanisms - I have friends with sections and were in bed with only a strap to pull themselves up with.

Micah Errm yes I did buzz a nurse to command pick up my baby on her first night on earth. EMCS meant I still had a catheter in so I couldn't really move my body. Massive PPH meant that on one arm I had a drip so I couldn't move my "far" arm as far as the cot and as my blood pressure was still dangerously low I also had a blood pressure monitor that went up and down every few minutes (and was a bit rubbish as it kept thinking I'd died and setting off an alarm leading to half the hospital sprinting in to try and shock me back into life) which meant that my "near" arm had very little movement. And the bed didn't work.

I guess that I could have picked dd up with my mouth like she was a puppy but I didn't think of that.

Electric mechanisms?

Cot near bed?

Sounds great

I guess it was my fault that my baby was left on me all night while I was passed out then. After a CS and morphine and combined with a baby feeding I just conked out. Stupid me huh, obviously it would have been ridiculous to think that someone would have thought to move the baby back to the cot rather than leave it balanced on my chest overnight.

So now we have someone saying women who have had sections and are catheterised and on morphine and all the rest of it need to get out of bed to get their babies to feed them. Great! I guess this approach is why so many women have a less than fab time on the post-natal ward.

No other form of major surgery and drugged to the gills and attached to a drip and catheter would a HCP genuinely suggest that a patient "get on with it" and not ask for help so as not to bother anyone.

It's just women on post-natal wards who seem to be given this particular level of "stuff upper lip just shut up and get on with it". Well and lots of birth experiences.

I really think the attitude of society generally around pregnancy / childbirth / post-natal care / BF is appalling and leaves so many women struggling with all sorts of problems because they don't feel they can or should ask for help.

Feeling annoyed now.

Our beds had a metal rail to prop up like a deckchair. You had to go behind the bed and lift the top end and move the rail to hold it.

I mean WTF even am really annoyed by that comment.

Yes, that was exactly a message you got at hospital where I was: don't bother anyone. I had to stay due to medical indications so I learned very quickly to become less reliant on nurses because everything took absolutely ages. There was 1 old midwife who was amazing. She actually offered to make me and my mum a cup of tea and when I resolutely refused (being very aware not to ask for anything) she said that the whole purpose of her job was to be there for me. I was amazed to hear it, it simply didn't occur to me that that might be the case.

And come to think of it I'm pretty sure I didn't ring any bells as I didn't want to bother anybody and just sort of said "excuse me" as one went past.

Is that alright I wonder or was that out of line. Why do some people feel the need to judge others when they know nothing of their situation? It's bizarre. And really mean, TBH.

I don't think the majority get good postnatal care, no.

I think inadequate care is the norm, but there's a lucky percentage of women who get discharged quickly, and therefore don't have much to complain about because they weren't on the ward long enough to be mistreated.

Those who have to stay 2, 3, 4 or more nights are the ones who really suffer.

Omni That's exactly it. In my case I was supposed to be in an HDU bed but there weren't any within 50 miles so after 12 hours of needing 1:1 nursing in the delivery suite and the midwife talking carefully to my husband about how far away his and my parents were and whether he wanted to call them and get them to come "just in case" the midwife agreed to discharge me to the post natal ward.

It was evening by this point so dh was soon sent home. And I started my 12 hour manual labour night shift.

The midwives were generally nice people doing their very best but there was about one midwife per 8 mothers and babies (and I was in the "high needs" section - in the "normal" section it was 1:12.)

Had dh been able to stay then I think I would have been ok but he wasn't and I was very ill and needed more support than 1/8 of a midwife could give.

It's the lack of imagination of some HC workers: "I could do this, so this patient must be being unreasonable to need help." And boy do some of them let the patient see the contempt. A nasty attitude (and of course, before I'm slated, far from universal.)

Are you taking the piss out of the people on the other thread or something?

Offensive.

The only reason I agreed to have DC2 was to go private. Postnatal wards are the closest place to hell on earth I have ever experienced. Add that to your data.

I was in a room with several other women who'd had sections, and we were all told - by the midwives - to buzz them if we needed the baby passed to us to start with, until they had got us up on our feet. But, sure, I could have just yanked out the drip and catheter and got on with it...

No judgement and obviously I know some people aren't able, especially if there's no mechanical assist.

I've just seen it written a lot on forums over the years, again like people saying "oh I'll stay in a few days, maybe a week so they can show me what to do/I can have a rest/they can help me", even people who haven't had sections. I was beginning to think people were viewing the week post birth as a bit of a break with a nurse to do everything for them (my sil certainly saw it like that).

Like I said, either wouldn't have occurred to me. I wanted out and dh to be at my beck and call not some poor overworked nurse :)

I was asked to empty my own catheter the next day after my c section. Had to wait for my husband to help me because I couldn't get out of the bed on my own. Was anaemic because of blood loss too.

Huh?

What on earth makes you think the women on this thread are like that?

I spent a lot of time as a teen in hospital and so am well aware of how it works thanks.

In our hosp you are out 48 hours after a section.

And you are still accusing women here of expecting nurses to be at their "beck and call" even after they have told you how ill they were etc. What on earth?

As an HCP surely you should be concerned about the poor care women are talking about having received on the NHS, rather than accusing them of being selfish women who want "a break" while forcing hard-working NHS staff to pander to their every whim

I think the trouble is that for many women it is a combination of their first stay in hospital and an overly romanticised expected birth experience. When compared to other wards, where the people are ill (most postnatal women are not ill) and visitors are limited (most postnatal women have DPs to help during the day), then the post natal ward is a lot more hearts and flowers and hand hold-y than the rest of the hospital.

However, it seems to be completely unappreciated (unlike health care for sick people) and very few moans and complaints have had a bad outcome as a result (other than dissatisfaction). This is an extrapolation from my own experience, yes, but from having worked and been an inpatient in a number of different hospitals and departments.

I'm not saying that care is bad elsewhere, just that there is a better sense of proportion when someone is saving your life.

Jesus Runner just when I thought this thread could not be any more irritating. Lots of women having babies have major abdominal surgery how does that fit in with your frankly ridiculous post?

Wow! Is this a joke? Is this a site asking for people who have nice deliveries to tell about their special little snowflake experiences in response to those treated like shit by the NHS.

Well done on one of the more inconsiderate threads I've read. This is up there with the other, 'me, me, me,' threads.

This thread reminds me of the time when after I'd struggled through my daughters traumatic birth and subsequent health problems and my own severe post natal depression, my so called friend rung me up to tell me about her wonderful water birth experience in great detail.

WTF hand holding?

Hearts and flowers?

Baffling.

FWIW in terms of fluffyness I would put, from my experience:

Children's hospital
Day unit
Adult surgical ward
Post-natal ward

I definitely had much less attention on post-natal than on those other types of ward/unit.

Weird post there really.