"Media centre" ffs.

[BubblegumBrigade]

Packing up to spend Christmas with my PILwhom I do generally like and get on with.

BUT, I am already in an irrational rage about three things:

1, They took out their table from the dining room a few years ago and put their television in there with two chairs facing it. There are book shelves lining the walls. The stereo is in the living room. This is all fine, except they insist on calling this shabby, cramped little room with a telly in it The Media Centre, in a very smug sort of way. Each time they say it I want to scream at the ridiculousness of it.

1. They will produce something completely ordinary for lunchtimes (such as cheese with those part-baked baguettes that you finish off in the oven) and then go ON AND ON for the whole meal about them, as though they were caviar encrusted venison steaks. "I must say, it's lovely to have warm bread. It's lovely, isn't it? Isn't it lovely everyone? I do love warm bread." (DP and I always cook the dinners btw, and I am very grateful for the lunches. I just don't want to be required to have an orgasm over perfectly unremarkable fare)

1. They insist on cloth napkins for every meal. Fine, no problem with this. The thing is, they only have one cloth napkin per person, so we are expected to wipe our hands and mouths with it and then store it inside the napkin ring for the next meal. This continues for at least four days. It makes me heave, especially as we have under eights, who turn napkins into a Pollockesque mess after a single meal. We are not allowed to use kitchen roll instead as it is "common".

I am not being unreasonable in finding any of these things entirely maddening, am I? I intend to be nothing but gracious and grateful and enjoy their company, of course, but I need to know that I am entirely justified in having an internal NOITSALLWRONGANDTERRIBLEAREYOUMAD alarm about these things. DP thinks I should just be able to let it wash over me as mild pretentions/eccentricities, and feels I am U to become so riled.

I'll admit, I am heaving at your third point! That is manky! Eugh!
The "media centre" wouldn't bother me, I'd probably just nod politely at the amazing bread rolls and not comment but the napkin thing is just clatty.
Good luck!

Haha, I'd say your PIL were my DParents but I've only got sisters!

Now I'm a big fan of e.g. baked Camembert for lunch, but DM goes on about it as if it's Michelin star food and sometimes I want to shout FFS you bunged a couple of things in an oven for 10 minutes and opened a jar of chutney!

Maybe you and the kids should have a competition to seewho can be the most pretentious without them twigging - "oh mum does this amazing dinner called haricot au pain" or "can't wait until you next come to ours so you can see what we've done with the guest suite". Oh, and buy them some really nice napkins EVERY YEAR until they get the message!

Off to my outlaws this year - can't wait for the weirdness to start.

I think you are being a little ur about the first two points, now that I have finished being wretchy about the third point Bubble .
Could you not purchase some cheap linen napkins? Ikea etc.
Your picks obviously are very grateful to you for turning a little used room into a media centre!
Good luck!

Haha they sound hilarious.

Do a Harry Met Sally style fake orgasm over their bread. Eat it in an erotic way, licking your fingers inbetween bites. Might shut them up.

Media Centre is brilliant. I'd imagine a private cinema with huge plush seats and cocktail service and would wet myself at the reality.

I knew someone who used to drink an Oxo cube dissolved in hot water in a mug and call it beef tea.

this has made me practically cry

'the media centre' LOL

Take some cinnamon and gooseberry yogurt with you next time

Haha I think I'd have a little snort to myself every time they said "media centre"

They sound kind of nice-pretentious ie harmless. Yeah it'd get annoying after a while though....

Yes! I am Reasonable.

I am entirely free from any pretension myself, you understand, which is why I find it such a burden.

Items 1 and 2. Play along. It is the only way. Have a laugh.

Item 3: I'd take fancy paper Christmas napkins. Alternatively tell the DC that the napkins are decorative items that should not be used for wiping.

I hope your Christmas present to them is a huge pile of cloth napkins and some washing powder.

"Beef tea"! Ahahahahaha! How civilised.

I have tried taking holly sprigged paper napkins in the past. FAILURE. They're not savages, you know. It's Christmas - linen napkins are the only acceptable option.

god they sound ghastly darling, simply ghastly.

Oh bless.
It's like a family tradition of irritating habits.
Do you think the media centre thing is just for you? To prove they are youthful and modern?

I love a drink of oxo! Am so going to call it beef tea from now on!!!

Think I might also start calling my cramped back hallway that houses a Playstation and computer: the media centre. Suddenly seeing it in a whole new light

YANBU about the napkins though! Bleurgh!

Oh no, The Media Centre isn't for us. It exists entirely seriously and unironically for the purpose of PIL watching their DVD of Mama Mia.

this has made me practically cry

Me too!

Your not my Sil Anna are you OP?

Another one who drinks oxo! My dear old grandad used to take me to football matches as a kid with oxo in a flask. It is now reserved for really cold days.

Dash of Lea and Perrins in it too, to remind me of him!

Can't you blow your nose into your napkin and then hand it to her dripping in snot and ask for a replacement?

My mums a bit pretentious she has a large porch at the front of the house which she used to call.the conservatory this was back in the 80,s when people didn't have conservatory's as much plus it was filled with the usual crap that's in a porch ,shoes, wellies , bags etc and facing a row of shops so hardly a conservatory!

DH built a boxed-in wooden bench for the garden with a flip-up seat we stored tools in. On three sides he put up panels of trellis and topped it with a pitched roof covered with leftover felting from his friend.

We screwed one of those wooden chicken-on-a-stick ornaments on top.

It was very good, except he used to call it the gazebo, without any irony

There is no way on this earth I would re use a cloth napkin. I'd be taking my own paper ones or providing them with more cloth ones "as you don't seem to have enough"