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AIBU?

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Original poster

Telephone ettiquette.. saying your name as caller

59 replies

SparkleZilla · 22/12/2014 14:18

hi

my OH thinks that you have to say your name as caller (, or you are very rude. My DM calls, they've known each other for 20 years, and yet everytime "Who is it please?"

Really? does he really think this is a grown up way to act? He ends up being really rude to her sometimes, and i'm fed up with it

Do you always announce yourself? I try and tailor to who i am calling (although i dont make many calls)

OP posts:
beavington · 22/12/2014 15:26

Im annoying and have most family and friends saved on the landline phone so i tend to answer with 'hello x' which freaks out the infrequent callers. Both your dh and dm sound stubborn

royaldavescity · 22/12/2014 15:33

If he knows her voice, which I assume he does after 20 years, then he's being ridiculous. More so if you have caller display.

BackforGood · 22/12/2014 15:34

Yup. YABU. Your OH is right.

I can see that possibly, if you were phoning mobile to mobile and knew your name would come up on other person's screen once it was ringing, there's be less need, but it's just basic manners.

Mind, I'm regularly amazed how many people lack those.

Fuckmath · 22/12/2014 15:39

I announce myself if on a work call or if ringing someone who might not know who it is.

If calling a good friend on their mobile I wouldn't feel the need to announce as the name will obviously come up so they know who it is. If calling my parents or a family member I would be a bit annoyed if they asked who it was just to make a point when they blatantly know it's me Hmm so your dp is being u.

UncleT · 22/12/2014 16:03
  • Hello, who's that?
  • No, you called me - who are you??

Grrrrrr.

unclerory · 22/12/2014 16:06

My Mum is an only child. When she called her parents she'd say ;Hi Mum' and every time my grandmother would say 'Is that you J?" I'm not quite sure who else she was expecting to call her Mum.

MonstrousPippin · 22/12/2014 16:10

I almost always say "Hi, it's Monstrous" when I call someone, even my DM despite her having caller ID. I just think it makes it easier and it's a nice way to just start the conversation off.

Having said that, I wouldn't expect everyone to be the same as me and there's no need to be a dick about it if someone doesn't announce themselves unless you genuinely don't know who it is.

WhoKnowsWhereTheMistletoes · 22/12/2014 16:12

I just don't get why you wouldn't say who you are, even with your nearest and dearest, it would seem very strange to me to just launch into conversation without saying "hi, it's Whoknows", in case they weren't sure, I always do it even with my parents and they do with me.

Picturesinthefirelight · 22/12/2014 16:14

Sil annoys me by not saying who she is. In fact a lot of dhs family do as well. I'm rubbish at recognising voices on the phone.

I even announce who I am to close family, people often confuse me & my mum.

florentina1 · 22/12/2014 16:15

My sons sound so similar on the phone, so I have often been the victim of a long wind up when they twig that I have the wrong one. Nowadays I stick with trivia until I am sure which one I am speaking to.

MrsKoala · 22/12/2014 16:18

hello
oh hi jeff i was just calling to see if laura was there? you okay tho? how was that golf thing last week?

OneSkinnyChip · 22/12/2014 16:19

Your DH is being incredibly rude to do this with your DM. He is totally in the wrong on that one so YANBU there.

Generally though it's probably a good idea to give your name if there could be any doubt at all who is calling.

myfurbyisalive · 22/12/2014 16:27

uncleroy
My gran does this. I am her only granddaughter I say 'hello gran' and she always comes out with 'is that furby?' Well unless you have any secret illegitimate granddaughters I don't know about, or my cousin has rang you seance style from the grave, I'm guessing it is me.

I find it hard to advise on the OP a I know only one person who still has and uses their landline (my gran). And mobiles already have caller ID. From MHO your DH is being a tit.

CatsClaus · 22/12/2014 16:29

does she engage him in conversation or does she just ask for you?

cos he is being rude to the point of offensive after 20 years if she says "hello SparkleZillaMan, how are you? Witter/warble/tra-la-la-la" etc etc and he says "who is speaking?"

if she just says "can i speak to SparkleZilla?" then they both want their heads banged together.

MrsMeeple · 22/12/2014 16:39

The only person I saw "Hi" or "hi, it's me" to is DH. Anyone else I say "hi, it's MrsM here". So your DH has a point. But it is quite rude to say "who is it" every single time if your DM calls and says "Hi H, can I speak to Sparkle please". Or some such. I see two wrongs here, don't know who should give in to make it right.

Original poster
SparkleZilla · 22/12/2014 16:53

i said she should say "its Marilyn Monroe" or something similar.... but i dont think he would like that

she tried engaging in conversations, i just find it really annoying - he also does this thing about my sisters name (oh trying to think how to put it without 'outing')

say her name was Sara - he calls her Sarah - as Sara is poncy and affected

(he's a good guy really, i dont have a lot to moan about - just the minor family clashings and he's a bit moody - but he's really smashing apart from that)

OP posts:
myfurbyisalive · 22/12/2014 16:57

Im sorry but you can't just change someones name because you think it's 'poncy.'

Like calling someone named Suzanne, Susan because the former is poncy in his humble opinion.

Your DH sounds like a wanker.

Original poster
SparkleZilla · 22/12/2014 16:58

i know he does - and he really isnt
(he doesnt call her that to her face, just to me to annoy me i think)

OP posts:
Original poster
SparkleZilla · 22/12/2014 16:58

i mean i know it sounds like he is a wanker - but he isnt....

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 22/12/2014 17:05

Why wouldn't he 'like it'? would he get angry and feel mocked? also he does sound like a wanker - who does that about someones name? Confused when you say she tried to engage him in conversation, what happens? does he not chat to her?

it sounds like he doesn't like your family much and he's undermining them and trying to PA put them in their place.

Branleuse · 22/12/2014 17:05

i always say hi, its branleuse, unless its my mum or dp. My mum always says that its her, even to me.

I think way too many people just expect people to recognise their voice. 9 times out of ten i have no idea who people are unless they tell me

kickassangel · 22/12/2014 17:07

my MI and a friend of mine used to always say 'It's ME' when I answered the phone - in a really high pitched, excited, isn't it great I am calling way. Which meant I never knew which one of them I was talking to.

Saying your name, unless you know that the other person knows it's you (Like they just said, Hi KickAss), is a basic necessity.

PulpsNotFiction · 22/12/2014 17:28

My mil likes to phone up and continue having a conversation with you that she was having all on her own in her head and expect you to know what the fuck she's on about.
Me 'Hello'
Her ' they've not got it on two for one anymore'
Me 'err, is that you Mil? what haven't they got on two for one'
Her 'tut, stuffing of course!'
Me 'eh? We've already got some'
Her 'well I know that, it's not for you its for Mavis next door!'
Me Hmm............ sigh

Pours self another sherry.

Without fail, the phone will ring again two minutes later with some other mid way mil convo. Agggghhhh!

I wouldn't mind but she was a switchboard operator for 25 friggin years so ought to have an inclin how to use a phone!

amicissimma · 22/12/2014 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackOnlyBriefly · 22/12/2014 18:05

I don't know about his motives, but please everyone! Say who you are. I can hardly ever tell voices apart and it makes the phone a nightmare for me.

I don't know if it's my hearing or to do with remembering sounds, but I won't know it's you even if you called me 5 minutes ago.

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