To ask what you think are the things men just don't get about women

[Homewardbound75]

Hello one and all

I am a male Mumsnetter with a rather lovely DW and two amazing DDs. In such a household I am increasingly starting to wonder that there are things men just don't get about women. Am I right? And if so what are those things men just don't get?

Thanks!

Need some examples of situations as people are different.

frankbough There is certainly little evidence in science for different innate gender difference in brains, and there's evidence for society caused difference in brains too - science doesn't really agree or disagree with anything, it just has evidence for different hypotheses some of it overwhelming, maths is the place with proofs, and some science can use idealised situations that meet maths.

This is quite an interesting full paper which while mostly talking about suggestions on how to do the research also gives a reasonable background on the current research and how flawed it may well have been: journal.frontiersin.org/Journal/10.3389/fnhum.2014.00650/full

What FunkyBoldRibena said.

And lol @ frankbough. Kindly person come to tell the silly laydeez how it is cos SCIENCE which laydeez with their ladybrainz are well known for not being able to grasp, poor glittery mites. They are nice to look at though so that makes up for it a bit.

I was all ready to come on here and bang on about how something a lot of men seem to not 'get' about women is that we are all individuals, but I see many wise Mumsnetters have got there first and done it for me. Thank you :)

Stupid post. But generalising, I'd say its a huge problem for many men that they assume women are attracted to them when they are not, or when they speak to them briefly (e.g. at work), just because they have met one desperate, non-typical woman once, who was.

I'd also say the internet was an increasing problem for many men in how it affects their relationship with women. In that, very few women are attracted to men who have numerous dodgy "relationships" conducted by internet around the world.

The reason it pisses me off when my DH offers me solutions when I talk about problems, is that I KNOW the possible solutions! I'm not stupid! I'll choose the right one when I'm ready but right now I'm dealing with emotion, not reason. I know you're just trying to help, but just tell me it's shit and give me a cuddle fgs.

Other than that I agree with other posters, women are not an alien race, just human beings like you so do what you to understand anyone else. Know them well and consider their perspectives!

When science fails to support your argument, knock the science .

Cordelia Fines - Delusions of Gender is a good read for anyone interested in the flawed, baised, blah blah blah science.

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse ,, ah yes that is indeed what I said, your obvious confusion and sense of inferiority (as inferred by your cartoon feminist writing style) is quite clear, although I would disagree on the nice things to look at....

The notion that all behavioural and gender differences are purely social in origin is a political belief not backed up by science.
But I would like to add that men in general tend to have bigger penises than most women so as not to upset any individuals..

frank "The notion that all behavioural and gender differences are purely social in origin is a political belief not backed up by science."

Neither is the notion that it isn't......

My DH gets pretty much everything about me.

OP posted at 07:50 this morning, by lunchtime the vipers are assuming he has posted and run away...maybe he is at work or out for the day?

Vipers?

His question was designed to irritate, presents women as indecipherable as though that were a given . anyway, if he posts and runs, so what? it's not our job to make allowances for male posters that we wouldn't make for the rest of us!

If you don't understand your wife and daughters, start working on your communication skills. They're people too.

The reason it pisses me off when my DH offers me solutions when I talk about problems, is that I KNOW the possible solutions! I'm not stupid! I'll choose the right one when I'm ready but right now I'm dealing with emotion, not reason. I know you're just trying to help, but just tell me it's shit and give me a cuddle fgs

Some people claim men and women aren't different, and yet someone made good money writing a book to explain not providing solutions to men.

Men who offer solutions are treating their partners like equals. They speak for functional reasons, so they assume women have a practical reason for communicating a problem. A "real man" doesn't want a hug when he has a problem, so he doesn't see it as the appropriate response when someone else does.

A "real man"? have you got nothing better to do than try to get a rise out of posters here?

Some people claim men and women aren't different, and yet someone made good money writing a book to explain not providing solutions to men.

Of course we're different. From the time we're all babies boys and girls are treated differently and socialized to act differently. Men are expected to be problem solvers, women are expected to be nurturers. It has been scientifically proven that our brains do function differently and we make different neural connections and have different brain activity for different stimuli.

But that doesn't mean we need to be defined by stupid stereotypes like "Throw chocolate at her during her menstrual cycle and hope she doesn't bite" and the cliche "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" either.

Probably not a good time to ask after a row with the H.

Generally though being on another fucking planet!

They way men are brought up can leave us with warped emotions, crying over some beloved football team is ok, but not over personal matters.

We might completely miss the emotional aspect of an conversation and just see the practicalities/cost, we might also just be being enormously selfish and not realise it.

Though that's not to say your being ganged up on by a bratish daughter and entitled wife.

It has been scientifically proven that our brains do function differently and we make different neural connections and have different brain activity for different stimuli.

But they haven't proved that we build different neural pathways because of innate biological differences or because we have been socialised that way from birth (or even in the womb)

But we don't all get the same socialisation; some will have more gender-neutral upbringings than others (comparatively - to be totally gender free, you'd need a hermit-like existence with no exposure to any cultural influences at all.)

frankbough There may be research to back up your claims, which is supported by imperial evidence, if so please do link to it. If you don't have any, stop talking about this nebulous 'science' as though it has some meaning.

lol @ frank so women don't understand science and we're ugly!

Truly a prince among men

Why is it so so easy to spot those who are out to get a rise out of MNers? I'm sure the quality of the goading used to be a little higher.

Nah cat you have missed the bit where he claims that I made bold statements about what is and isn't scientifically proven around nature / nurture

While completely overlooking the fact that I did nothing of the sort, and he did.

V poor effort really

I like the idea of Imperial evidence BTW - like if the Emporer says it, it must be true? Is that a step up from if a man says it on a female dominated website, it must be true???

"It has been scientifically proven that our brains do function differently and we make different neural connections and have different brain activity for different stimuli."

And this is in general obviously.

My understanding was that any difference on average between the sexes was much smaller than differences observed within the sexes.

And that such differences have only been measured at ages where socialisation has had time to take hold ie it still has not been shown whether they are a product of nature /nurture.

It's a fascinating area!

I don't understand why men think that owning a uterus means you actually enjoy, and are good at, cleaning, cooking, ironing etc.

Men don't seem to understand that women have feelings and we aren't robotic creatures who are designed to just function without having any emotional response whatsoever. I'm not referring to constant meltdowns and hysteria, just normal emotions like sadness, anger etc.

Men never 'get' that women actually despise them when they skive off household tasks and pretend to be ill, tired, otherwise engaged etc. If men knew how much resentment this creates, they'd never actually do it ever again.

I have yet to meet a man or woman that doesn't understand me. But I do speak quite plainly, I don't say things I don't mean and I don't expect anyone to read my mind. I think that helps.