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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask relative to bring something else instead?

99 replies

MyFirstName · 21/12/2014 13:43

We are hosting Christmas. Had offers of help/family bringing stuff. Asked one part of the family to bring dessert to offer an alternative to Christmas Pudding. Another to bring cheese (mainly for evening buffet, but to offer any who could fit it in after lunch).

A and B decided to how to split the jobs A would bring cheese and B would bring dessert. No skin off my nose. However B is a little flaky/suffers from last-minute-itis so i discussed with DH and have got in some cheep/cheerful frozen profiteroles as a back up. We like them, can eat them another time, but they are there as backup if B fails to deliver. Which is entirely possible.

Just heard from B re dessert. They have decided, as the alternative-to-Christmas-pudding dessert, that they are bringing............Christmas Pudding Ice-cream. Am I the only one the think FFS!!!

Their reason for making it is that is lovely to eat, easy to make and will travel well. Valid reasons. But I do not think it in anyway offers an alternative to Christmas Pudding!

Would I be unreasonable to phone B and to say, please do not bring that. Or if you do could you do something else as well? Or should I just suck it up. Accept the ice cream gratefully and plan for something else myself (I have an easy lemon cheesecake recipe I could whip up the day before). Or get the profiteroles out. I have a bit of an up/down relationship with this person. I think it would be almost impossible for me to say something without them getting the hump and taking it in very bad grace.

Should I be brave and say something? Or just accept the icecream and defrost the profiteroles?

OP posts:

MNHQ

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 21/12/2014 21:48

peace love and pudding people.

RandallFloyd · 21/12/2014 21:51

Seriously?
Have I woken up in 1973?
Who the hell even thinks that word these days, never mind actually says it?

Excellent thread though, OP. I do love a bonkers relatives at Christmas thread

Original poster

MyFirstName · 21/12/2014 21:52

Actually iam it is a thread about whether to say something about pudding. Or if that would be unnecessarily offensive and I should just plan around it.

Though you possibly do not have the sensitivity to have seen that.

though even if it just was a thread about pudding recipes what you wrote would still be offensive

OP posts:

2rebecca · 21/12/2014 21:52

I think if you were going to say something you should have done so when she suggested it "no not Christmas ice pudding because that's not really an alternative for people who don't like the flavours of Christmas puddin. How about a mousse or a trifle?". Now is a bit late.
I'd probably just do cheese and biscuits. Many people will be too full for puddings anyway. I don't usually bother with alternative puddings. If they want an a la cart menu they can go to a hotel.

HoHonutty · 21/12/2014 21:54

Evening Olivia. Glad you don't agree that retard is fine.

StilleNachtCarolling · 21/12/2014 21:59

I don't see the problem. They are bringing a pudding. Why is an alternative to Christmas pudding needed anyway as that is what you are supposed to have for Christmas lunch

Maaaaybe there might be people who don't actually like Christmas pudding, in any form whatsoever. I suspect that's why an ALTERNATIVE pudding might be required...call me crazy

You're supposed to have turkey for Christmas dinner too, but I don't expect that argument would go down very well with vegetarians.

Original poster

MyFirstName · 21/12/2014 22:04

I shall not be saying who B is.

I did not include it in my OP, but I had initially asked A to do pudding and B to do cheese. Thinking you cannot really go wrong with cheese. And last-minute-itis cannot, surely impact on cheese buying? And I could double check cheese buying had happened and if necessary do a last minute dash for cheese. send DH

However, A (not quite as flaky and without a doubt "got" the alternative element to the dessert-requirement without it even being discussed) had a few health issues and so A & B swapped to make it easier for A if they had medical appointments in the build up to Christmas.

If there was any way I had known B would end up on dessert duty I would not have requested it. I would have requested canapes or nibbles or fruit something else that didn't matter if it was either no there or a last minute purchase

I have my plan though. Lemony Cheesecake (base just made) supposedly for Christmas Ever...which "opps, oh dear I forgot to make the lemony bit early enough, oh dear it will not be set in time for Christmas Eve" - will have to be offered on Christmas Day. Along with lovely Christmas pudding, Christmas Pudding Ice Cream, brandy butter and cream. Have also made some chocolate refrigerator cake for general Christmas period consumption so will make sure some also left to offer on Christmas Day.

The amusing thing? Am not much of a pudding person myself. So will probably just have the ice-cream to keep the peace and then gorge on cheese

OP posts:

Original poster

MyFirstName · 21/12/2014 22:06

Eve

OP posts:

nickeljrismybabesitter · 21/12/2014 22:13

I fucking hate christmas pudding and wouldn't be impressed if the alternative was cold christmas pudding.
At least if it's christmas pudding I could have the custard on its own.

If you don't want to say anything,, do the profiteroles or maybe raspberry ripple ice cream.

And I fucking hate trifle too.

Anythings with weird textures that don't go together (dried fruit I'm looking at you ) are horrible

Noodledoodledoo · 21/12/2014 22:17

Just to add to the mix I do not like Christmas pudding but love Christmas pudding ice cream do not ask me why but I do!! I would like the ice cream as I would think I was being as close to traditional as I could be without liking pudding!

BikketBikketBikket · 21/12/2014 22:25

Am still recovering from the discovery that there are people who DON'T LIKE TRIFLE....!!! Not to mention the fact that there are some who think that jelly has any place in a proper trifle

Original poster

MyFirstName · 21/12/2014 22:26

What is to like about soggy sponge. Blurghhh!

OP posts:

MargotLovedTom · 21/12/2014 22:27

It seems like a whole load of palaver over puddings. Just have the profiteroles and the ice cream and the Christmas pudding for those who want it. I personally don't see the need to have all these extra puddings, and all the associated carry on with making out things haven't set or profiteroles have been left out of the freezer accidentally.

Rednosedevdil · 21/12/2014 22:47

It's Tom kerridge's fault. He did Christmas pud ice cream as an alternative to Christmas pudding on a show at lunchtime today. It occurred to me at the time it wasn't a great alternative if you didn't like Xmas pud...

Your relative saw the programme.

nickeljrismybabesitter · 21/12/2014 23:21

bikket ex-mil-sortof was the first person I ever met who made trifle with jam rather than jelly. The textures made it a bit easier to digest, but the cream part still makes my mouth retch.

zipzap · 21/12/2014 23:46

I was going to say the same about seeing several tv programmes that have shown xmas pud ice cream as an alternative to xmas pud.

I've always found the phrase 'It seems like we were talking at cross purposes' a useful one in situations like this where you know you are right but you don't want the other person to take offence. And here if others were involved too, you could try saying that and adding that it sounds like she thought she was bringing an alternative to replace the christmas pud whereas you have that all sorted an need something for those that don't like xmas pud at all, any chance she could bring a different flavour ice cream... bit of a moot point as you have sorted out lemon cheese cake but worth remembering if it happens again!

And - I can't believe there are people that like trifle! Yuk. One pudding that definitely doesn't get made here - was the stuff of christmas nightmares when I was a child! Only decent edible bits of it are the glace cherries and angelica used for the decoration!

nickeljrismybabesitter · 21/12/2014 23:53

Can't stand the glace cherries - texture again!

frozen70 · 22/12/2014 03:57

cp ice cdeam is a daft alternative to cp. I hate cp, mince pies and xmas cake. I spent 1st xmas with mil. dh said o we have yule log so I thought great. Turns out yule log was for evening and I was given tinned fruit for pudding whilst everyone else tucked into xmas pud and mince pies.Since than I brought my own.

Sparklingbrook · 22/12/2014 10:12

With you there on the glace cherries nickel. Bleurgh. Candied peel too.

DS2 asked me what was in a mince pie the other day. I couldn't describe it without making it sound horrible.

londonrach · 22/12/2014 10:20

With those who says trifle is vile. Luckily dh agrees. Dm loves it but no one else so she had to manage without unless another mntter will come and help her eat it. After my dgm died (also a trifle eater) my mum hasnt been able to have a single trifle since. I hear they go off if not eaten that day and its too much for one person.

liquidstateisonthemulled · 22/12/2014 10:25

Yuck - I would not be happy if the alternative to Christmas pudding is christmas pudding ice cream. Your relative is weird to consider bringing it. Plenty of other things that travel well and are easy to make.

I always have vienetta but would be delighted if you had profiteroles...

londonrach · 22/12/2014 10:26

Glace cherries again vile (loving my new word). Dh always has two on his iced buns while for some reason mine never have any! Anyway back to the christmas pudding ice cream. Sounds interesting op sorry. I dont like profiteroles (why do people like cream) so be asking for either the cheese or the ice cream please so maybe a good choice for the fussy non cream eaters... X

londonrach · 22/12/2014 10:27

Liquid i love vienette too just on its own or with abit of chocolate sauce! (Getting hungry now)

CatsClaus · 22/12/2014 10:29

oooh no trifle improves after a couple of days in the fridge. You do have to be ruthless about wrapping it though, obv all the cream and stuff taints very easily

for a christmas trifle though I tend not to put the cream on it until served which does mean it keeps better. All the alcohol infuses through properly.

As for OP, you are damned either way really, asking for another pud will vex B, and if you provide alternatives then she also will be

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