To lock him out if he's drunk.

[ChristmasCrackerPop]

DH doesn't drink much, when he does he's a nasty drunk and usually can't resist vomiting over the bedroom carpets.

We've not got on well lately due to me having an amino and him being unsupportive and uncaring. I'm going alone on Monday as he forgot to ask work if he could take 1hr off.

He's at his works do tonight, he's promised he won't drink but subconsciously i know he will. His last works do (last year) he didn't come home all night, when he came back at 7am he had no boxers, socks or jumper and said he had broken into his mums place (she hasn't spoken to him for 2 years!!) and claimed he had been spiked and started crying. Who knows...

But WIBU to lock him out if he is drunk, I can't deal with the nasty comments tonight. The 2 cars on the drive are open for him to sleep in.

You need to leave him if you feel so strongly because no way would I let my oh outside drunk in December over my sofa and carpets. It's mean and childish, no matter how mad I was at my oh, he is still my son's father.

However you appear to have other reasons than him getting drunk so I would make sure he has somewhere to sleep tonight, the sofa and arrange to leave him tomorrow.

Letting your oh sleep in the car because he is drunk is not normal for a loving relationship. Good luck

You are bringing a child into this? You clearly do not care about your DH. I don't know why you are with him. I wouldn't lock out anyone especially when they are vulnerable.

I am sorry op.

OP has posted before about problems with her verbally abusive and unsupportive DP. I hope people can keep that in mind and be kind in their responses on this thread...or at least not be unnecessarily unpleasant.

Sure but I don't always check a posters' history before commenting.

selksyou helped me so much the other night, I'd name changed but it was about my niece and placements overseas. She's back with dad now.

I think it is the OP who is the most vulnerable one here.

Pregnant, needing an amnio and with an insensitive, ignorant and drunken twat for a partner.

A few posters seem to be almost siding with the twat partner on this!! I can't see why.

LuannDelaney, glad I could be of help.

current DH when drunk is everything he said he'd never be.

You say he is a nasty drunk too..you do realise that the drink doesn't make him nasty, don't you..he IS nasty, but the drink gives him an 'excuse' to not hide it, or lowers his inhibitions so he can't hide who is really is.

You love him, but think it is acceptable to make him sleep in the car in December? he loves her, but thinks it is acceptable to treat her like shit all the time, even more so when drunk?

let's hope he doesn't choose to sleep in the drivers seat of the car or he could be in serious trouble if a passing police patrol spots him. Only if he had the keys on him.

Why the hell is everyone making excuses for this nasty bullying man, and making the op at fault?

Nice that you value the sofa above your husband. Missed the bit where he is a nasty bullying person at the best times & worse when drunk, did you?

He can be a pain when drunk but that's most men It really isn't, op.

Doesn't help you but he sounds like he is struggling. Pretty sure the op is struggling too, however, she doesn't appear to have turned into a nasty drunk, who spouts crap about defective body parts to hurt her partner.

Thanks guys. He came back in a reasonable state so I was shocked we've been sat up talking about my feelings and his, I think hes struggling to deal with my emotions and being nasty to hide his own feelings but I've said things need to change, it's not fair on him or me to carry on how things are.

He's not the sharpest tool in the box with sensitive stuff and I think things that upset me go straight over his head.

I'm glad I didn't lock the door on him, no body deserves that. Xx

I would never get over him saying it was my fault sorry.

People who are nasty when they are drunk also have that nastiness in them when sober. After working in many pubs and bars over the years I have worked this one out. My DP probably goes out twice a year on a drinking night and will come in - declare he's drunk and thinks he had better sleep on the sofa and trot off to the living room.

If you are scared of this man and to me it sounds like you are, why are you with him.

Christmas, I think you haven't had fair responses on this thread. Please reread differentnameforthis response above.

People have missed your posts about him being nasty.

Ask yourself this, if your dh was going into hospital Monday would you be out on the lash on a Saturday night? If he was worried and upset would you? Yes Xmas do is but once a year, so what. Having a baby may be a once in a lifetime event, 4 or 5 times at most.

If he is aware that he is a nasty drunk why does he drink? It's not obligatory to drink, if I became an arse when drunk I just wouldn't bother. I don't drink coffee after 3ish as it causes me sleep issues. I love coffee but I choose not to drink it as it does not agree with me.

The comment he made about the reason for the amino is vile. This man is showing you who he is, listen.

Glad you had a chat. Reading the thread I was going to say he sounds like he needs some counselling or at least a professional to talk too. Could you request an appointment with a genetic nurse as they would give you all the actually facts and support you in this difficult time. He's obviously not dealing with this and has gone into defensive mode ie blaming you and head in the sand mode ie if he ignores it, like not going to your amino appointment it won't be real.

Tell him he needs to come to your amino appointment not just to support you but you can ask your doctor all those questions you both needs answering.

I'm glad you've had a chat and things are looking better now. Hopefully you can begin to face things together as a team.

You totally did the right thing by talking about your feelings rather than lashing out. I'm glad nobody slept in the car!

Why is everyone blowing this out of proportion? He's an arsehole when he's drunk, annoying but sadly very common. Lock him out or tell him to come home sober. She doesn't love the sofa more than her husband, she just doesn't want a brand new sofa covered in sick and god knows what else.

Stop using LTB to resolve everything.

As for your amino test he should be more considerate about this, does he fully understand what it is? Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way x

Sorry OP I didn't see your other threads, I didn't mean to sound inconsiderate.

Please let us know how the test goes and how you are in yourself x

Men (or women) who are arseholes when drunk, are arseholes when sober.

The difference is that the the drink lowers their inhibitions & makes it harder to hide the arseholery/allows the mask to slip!

Have you ever heard the excuse "he only hits me when he is drunk"? Suggesting that he is a violent man because the drink makes him that. That isn't true. He is a violent man who can hide it when sober.

Alcohol doesn't make you an abuser. You are already an abuser, alcohol just gives you a convenient excuse.

The pair of you sound like you could do with some counselling.