Long time lurker here. Penis beaker etc. This might be long - thanks for taking time to read. OH and I been together for 12 years and married for 5. 2 DC 4 and 9 months. I am full time breadwinner he is at home with DC. We both have full time jobs, it's been a long and challenging year personally and professionally. Usual grumbles: he is a hoarder, disorganised, blunt at times, can't remember the last time he bought me a birthday or Christmas present. I do all finances and insurances, all Xmas shopping and cards, school and social arrangements, holidays, family birthdays, weekly meal planning and half the cooking. We have a cleaner. I pay for childcare for both DCs during the week to give him a break. After our youngest arrived in March I had 12 weeks maternity. We have no family support. We last went out as a couple in August. We've had one night away from DC in 4 years. I'm run down, this week has tonsillitis for first time ever resulting in 4 days of feeling poo, still trying to keep all balls on the air. I am knackered. Today he disappears at 11 to see a old friend for lunch, forgetting his keys. I have both children, loved their company; sorted dusted our living room and put up Xmas decorations / sorted toys; made casserole for dinner. Went out to deliver neighbours Xmas cards and see DC1 friend for an hour play and cuppa. I have done too much as still not well and haven't slept or eaten properly in 4 days ( was up 5 times with DC2 last night). Rarely if ever do I sit down before 9pm, then I log on to work again. OH got home at 5:30pm and had locked himself out. First words - "why have you wasted your time sorting out that? (Living Room and decorations). I was locked out with no keys! You are useless". I flipped. I am so tired I can't fight anymore. This language is absolutely typical of his reaction to anything I do / don't do. Nothing is good enough. I feel like crying but I'm too tired even for that. So, AIBU?