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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Receiving a second hand/already opened Secret Santa gift?

83 replies

ladymeredith · 19/12/2014 18:35

This is probably going to be a bit of a controversial topic so I'm aware that there will be mixed opinions.

But basically my job did Secret Santa and I think I pulled the short straw for gifts. The gift I received was one that the sender had clearly previously received as an unwanted gift and looking at the box, I could tell by the way it was taped that it had already been opened and taped back up, along with being covered in dust and being slightly torn!

I get not everyone is in the same financial situation (it was a £5 limit) and I'm not trying to be selfish, nor do I expect designer stuff. However I was rather hurt and insulted to receive that and it made me very cross as I had put effort into mine despite not being in the best financial situation (there was not obligation to take part). I probably won't do it again.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Hubb · 19/12/2014 21:16

I don't think anyone is unreasonable to expect a new (or failing that actually DECENT) gift for secret Santa.

Hubb · 19/12/2014 21:19

At one workplace I had only just joined at Xmas time so I asked for advice about what to get for my person and was told they were hoping for a £10 voucher! I didn't take their advice! Lots of other people have vouchers though...

Then after we had all sat round and exchanged then opened presents, we went round the room saying who we had bought for....Hmm

Hubb · 19/12/2014 21:29

I don't understand the toy golf clubs offense either I must be missing something?

Sorry 4th post now I'm on a role...

Heard about a male manager giving sexy undies to a female employee in SS in a previous workplace. I would have been outraged...surely this is sexual harassment...or something!? Unless they had some kind of r'ship where that would be appropriate. But at work....to open a gift of undies...how disgusting and humiliating! Along the lines of the blow job manual really, I would have loved to find out who that was and complain to HR!?

In another previous workplace, SS got banned after one guy received tiny willy condoms and "wank wipes"!

Mandatorymongoose · 19/12/2014 21:40

In SS with a baby group I once got a t-shirt for DC in size 0-3 months. I wouldn't have minded but DC was 10 months at the time and it's not like the sender could have been confused since we were all in the group because we had babies the same age and she'd met DC and knew they he wasn't exactly a petite baby.

Did come with a gift receipt though Grin .

Mandatorymongoose · 19/12/2014 21:41

that* not they.

mushypeasontoast · 19/12/2014 21:44

We have a 5 limit in work. I have a teenage male that I have yet to meet. Hes getting a tub of celebrations Grin as I have no idea on his tastes but think I cant go wrong with chocolate.

My secret santa asked me if there was anything I wanted. I know they are strapped for cash and that whatever they get me will have had a lot of thought put into it.
I told them not to spend too much, I will be happy to receive whatever they choose.

naty1 · 19/12/2014 21:46

I must be cant think of word so extrapolating as im sure the organisers told me who the rude ones at work were from and it was men. Clearly not all the men as there werent that many cheeky ones. Though its a relatively staid place so was quite surprised at the gifts anyway. I think they often misjudge who can take a joke.
Im thinking the golf clubs are- youre crap at golf you only need kids ones as thats your level. Or youre always off golfing. Neither amazingly offensive.
I would probably leave edible undies or just undies at the restaurant. Im not sure its harassment but just not how you want your colleagues to think about you. Though i think its a bit pervy someone going where they could buy that specially.
People probably do want vouchers - to avoid getting something embarrassing.

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 20/12/2014 08:58

One of the trainee lawyers at my firm had a nightmare day one Summer where she was running around the City like a madman serving bundles in sling back shoes and no tights on a hot day. Result (not surprisingly!) was v v whiffy feet. Hardly her fault and a one off.

Secret Santa that year some bright spark gave her a packet of extra strong Odour Eaters. She came back from the loo obviously having been crying and made excuses to leave the Christams party early. I was Angry on her behalf.

Anonymous SS brings out people's inner twat ime.

GraysAnalogy · 20/12/2014 09:01

I wouldn't be bothered really, £5 limit its not going to be something amazing regardless.

GraysAnalogy · 20/12/2014 09:04

What's wrong with toy golf clubs? Jesus.

KnackeredMerrily · 20/12/2014 09:27

I wonder if the toy golf club receiver was a bit short?!

CakeAndWineAreAFoodGroup · 20/12/2014 09:44

At work we had to give an idea of what sort of thing we would want to receive. When I pulled the envelope out with the person's name and note, she had helpfully attached an Argos instore order form with the item number filled in. Hmm

As it happened that item was out of stock when I did try to purchase it so bought her something very similar but I still heard her complaining that people just don't do as they're asked.

GraysAnalogy · 20/12/2014 09:49

That's so cheeky!

I did the Reddit secret Santa this year. I got a teenager in Ireland so I went overboard and spent about £50. My secret Santa has just shipped my gift im excited...

GraysAnalogy · 20/12/2014 09:50

Last year my job role did a secret Santa with the midwives of where we work.

I got two pens that look like syringes. But I know they come in a pack of four because I'd bought some for my students previously.

flipchart · 20/12/2014 09:51

To me the secret Santa presents are pretty much non gifts.
I try to grtsomethingnice and appropriate for a fiver. I've had some nice things but I dont give it another thought if its bait crap tb.

naty1 · 20/12/2014 10:19

Cake argos seems to not be doing well on stock - 3 things ive wanted.. Then they are selling through ebay
Poor girl about odour eaters! Maybe a pair of comfy shoes would have been more helpful.
Thing is it can be funny but you still have to work with these people

ArabellaStrange · 20/12/2014 10:43

My secret santa present this year was a partially inflated balloon with a smiley face drawn on and a hand rolled cigarette. it might have been a joint but when I lit it, it tasted weird, so I only had two drags

snowaccidentprone · 20/12/2014 10:47

About 25 years ago my manager of the team I worked in was a total sleaze. He received some stockings and a packet of condoms. He wasn't too happy, but we all thought it was hilarious (it wasn't me who bought them).

A couple of years later I had a different manager who went to the pub every lunchtime, and smoked like a chimney. I bought him a large jar of mints! I sat about 10 feet from him, and I could smell the beer and cigarettes. He wasn't too happy, but I thought it was really funny.

SolidGoldBrass · 20/12/2014 10:56

(very glad I don't work with other people) I was thinking vaguely about this when I was getting gifts for DS' class teacher and TAs in the poundshop. I don't know why people don't just hit the poundshops for something like this as you can get perfectly nice inoffensive gifts in there eg photo frames, pen-and-keyring sets, cute mugs with kittens on, even sometimes quite nice body lotion/bubblebath sets. As I only know 2 of DS' teachers at all I just got the photo frames and keyring things because you can't really go wrong with those. Booze and chocolates are generally nice but not for people you know nothing about as they might be teetotal or have allergies.

secretsantagift · 20/12/2014 11:12

NC for this as it will totally out me!

We did 'Yankee' secret santa this year, instructions as follows:

^In Yankee Swap each participant brings a wrapped, unmarked gift and places it in a designated area. Guests are given numbers as they arrive, or their names are randomly drawn, and they select and unwrap gifts from the pile in that order — with a twist.

The person who receives the number 1 will pick a gift (that is not their own) from the pile and open it for all to see (or models it, reads it, or demos it). During the selection of a wrapped gift, the participant may visually inspect the gifts, pick them up and/or gently shake them.

The person who receives number 2 then chooses a gift and opens it, and then must decide whether to keep it or swap it for the first player’s gift. Each person in order then gets to select a present, open it and decide whether to keep it or swap it for any other gift someone has already opened.

Opening of gifts and swapping takes place until all the presents have been chosen. Finally, the person who picked first gets to choose from all the gifts or keep what he/she has already received. In the end, the gift you are holding is the gift you take home.^

It went really well - there was a £10 limit but as there was always a risk that you could get what you came with there was an added incentive to get something reasonable. There were a couple of 'duff' presents which naturally got swapped and an Ottelenghi cook book and home made cake which got 'stolen' about 20 times. Such a great atmosphere!

Chandon · 20/12/2014 11:31

There is a very funny painful episode about Yankee Swap in "The Office".

Everybody wants the MP3 player, nobody wants the handknit ovenmits Sad

MNHQ
TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 20/12/2014 11:53

In a former job I was given a calorie counting book (used to eat VERY greedy breakfasts at my desk)
So rude. But probably they had a point.

QuietsBatmobileLostAWheel · 20/12/2014 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ihatethecold · 20/12/2014 16:20

I was given a chipped soup bowl at my SS this week. Sad

BlackBettyBamALam · 20/12/2014 21:02

Years ago I was given a sexy nurse outfit, was very Blush Blush
Last year it was a shit diary. Yes, a diary about different types of shit. Pictures and everything. I guess they had a point in that I had to deal with a lot of shit with that company, though I didn't need reminding Hmm