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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

False allegations

55 replies

IneedtocallSaul · 19/12/2014 17:08

Have name changed but may get outed on this one because I have to include in it some personal information which will correlate with my main name account.

A family member has my property which was given to her without consent by my abusive mum who has since died. I want the stuff back so sent her a polite request for my stuff. Anyway I have now been hit with a formal cease and desist letter in which it claims I regularly check her social media for information about her children. All I stated was I occasionally check Twitter to see pictures of my nephew and niece because I am not allowed to see them in person.

I have been down the police station this afternoon as the letter implies a complaint has been made with the police. They have not made a complaint so far, but a few years back they tried to misuse their position as doctors to get me put under a section 136 of the MHA. I spoke to the police sergeant at the time who said he was not sectioning me as it was down to the police, not my sister to make that judgement call and his judgement was I was stable.

I am very upset by this. Police today said her behaviour was ludicrous and just go straight ahead to small claims. I am seeing a solicitor for advice but cannot do this until January 8th as they are all booked up now.

What has upset me the most is when my mum died my sister blocked me from knowing she was dying and blocked me from the funeral. Mum was not mentally competent to make decisions for herself in the last decade of her life and it breaks my heart that in the end she died all alone. She died just before midnight and sister had left her and gone to bed.

I am not a career criminal, in fact I have a clean record and am upset that I am being treated this way.

OP posts:
TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 19/12/2014 20:52

You say in your earlier posts that your mum wasn't mentally competent to look after her own affairs for the last decade of her life.You then say it was in 2008 (8 years ago) that you sold your house handing everything over to her to deal with.

Was what she done intentional?

As for the rest,it's lightshades and a dining table.Let it go

IneedtocallSaul · 19/12/2014 20:57

That is a grey area. She was never an alcoholic until her only friend got Dx with motor neurone in 2006 and died a horrible death. She hit the bottle then and her MH deteriorated. I think she had always had MH issues, but she was pretty OK until the drinking started. Then she went weird telling me she was a psychic and was communicating with spirits and stuff. The decline in her MH was progressive and the last time I saw her she was borderline sectionable.

OP posts:
WillkommenBienvenue · 19/12/2014 20:58

So effectively your mother stole the money that you made on your house and your sister took your furniture. Trouble is you agreed with her that she could look after the money so I'm not sure whether legally you can claim.

However it's really good to know that the rest of your family see what happened. I hope you an focus on them and try to forget your sister and mother.

Morloth · 19/12/2014 20:59

Walk away.

You are on a hiding to nothing.

Just walk away.

DoubleValiumLattePlease · 19/12/2014 21:00

Loving your NN TripTrap. That's all really Smile

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 19/12/2014 21:01

Oops 6 years,not 8!!!

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 19/12/2014 21:03

Thanks valium ! She started talking to spirits?

onthematleavecountdown · 19/12/2014 21:04

Those items are worth bringing all this up, getting a solicitor, going to the police etc?

Call it a day. They sound very threatening, cut all ties and leave it. This is not a battle you want to be in.

IneedtocallSaul · 19/12/2014 21:16

She started claiming she was psychic and stuff. It was all very strange and then she decided the neighbours were importing class A drugs and reported them to customs and they were just a normal family, no criminals, it was just all really weird.

OP posts:
Discopanda · 19/12/2014 21:20

Your remaining family sound poisonous, unless you actually need the items just move on with your life.

WillkommenBienvenue · 19/12/2014 21:24

What happened to DM's estate when she died?

IneedtocallSaul · 19/12/2014 21:29

My dad claims they have spent all the cash, but when she sold her UK house she made a six figure sum. Although dad claims he is a straw man I very much doubt that is the case but he does not live in UK now, I do not have his address, so I can not prove he has any cash.

The cash is SOMEWHERE, I think they may have gifted some to sister but I have no proof of that.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 19/12/2014 21:45

If you did get the stuff back, surely it would remind you of that so awful situation every time you looked at it.

I think it would be better for you if you took the higher road and didn't contact them.

WillkommenBienvenue · 19/12/2014 21:50

Did your father have access to the money when your mother was alive or any responsibility for her affairs?

IneedtocallSaul · 19/12/2014 22:17

yes the money went into a joint account in mum and dad's name

OP posts:
JoanHickson · 19/12/2014 22:28

I wonder if you could get your Dad prosecuted for taking money from a vulnerable adult?

InfinitySeven · 19/12/2014 22:34

If the father isn't in the UK, any legal action will be difficult.

IneedtocallSaul · 19/12/2014 22:36

I went to the police at the time when homeless and they did say a criminal offence had been committed and if parents were still in the UK they would be arrested. However as they had left the UK their hands were tied and they recommended a solicitor. So I went to a solicitor and he said that getting a judgement would be very easy, but enforcing it in a foreign country when they were in a rented house was more or less impossible and very very expensive. He recommended I cut my losses and wrote it off.

OP posts:
JoanHickson · 19/12/2014 22:40

Well next time Twitter an ounces your Dad is back alert the police. It is bad enough to do this to your child, they may be harming vulnerable people/patients all over the place.

IneedtocallSaul · 19/12/2014 22:45

he is back! He is visiting sister at the moment and has asked to come visit me, but I am not in the mood for a happy family reunion with him and when he threatened my son I told SS who strongly recommended no further contact with ds for safeguarding reasons.

OP posts:
IneedtocallSaul · 19/12/2014 22:48

I also suspect when mum came back to the UK to die she did not inform me as she was afraid I would get the police on her or start court proceedings, but I would not call the police on a dying woman, that would be a horrible thing to do.

OP posts:
JoanHickson · 19/12/2014 22:49

What is stopping you informing the police?

WillkommenBienvenue · 19/12/2014 22:52

Perfect. You know where he is, the police will have a record of what happened before. Call them.

If SS have advised you not to allow father access to your children he also shouldn't have access to your sister's children. The police might help with that too.

Much as I think it would be simpler for you to just let it go, it might give you some kind of closure if you can take action in some way. People like this shouldn't be able to get away with it.

PhaedraIsMyName · 19/12/2014 22:56

Sectioning under the MH Act is not done by the police and is not done simply on the say so of relatives so I'm not sure why a policeman would have said it was up to him.

I find it difficult to believe that your "cease and desist" letter attempts to stop you looking up members of your family on social media. If they don't want you to see they can adjust their privacy settings.

Please don't tell the solicitor that you want to claim for "emotional distress" . If he or she encourages you to do so he/she is a charlatan. The ones who might otherwise be able to help are likely to tell you sorry, but they are not the right people for this type of work.

The stuff seems more trouble than its worth.

DPotter · 20/12/2014 01:24

Section 136 of the MHA is a place of safety order which is instigated by a police officer. It allows the police to take an individual whom the officer believes could cause harm to themselves to a 'place of safety' usually a MH hospital for up to 72 hrs. Contenscious law from many points of view

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