...to think about cow sex?

[TiggyD]

I mean why they do it? Are they thinking about bringing baby cows into the world or satisfying a primal urge? Do bulls just want what every human male wants: to find 20 or 30 nice ladies to settle down with and spend your days humping them in a field?

[dementedma]

Trying SO hard not to Google the chimp thing....

[festivefling]

Try harder dementedma, it stays with you forever.

[lemisscared]

Fruit flies have an intricate courtship ritual involving "singing" and oral sex - true fact

[londonrach]

Ok just googled slug sex. Alot of mucus and not much else. What am i missing?

[HouseBaelish]

We live fairly rurally and I have a country drive to take DD for school.

when she was 5 we passed a field and yup, there's a bull mounting a cow. So she says "mummy........"

I brace myself ready for an early morning delve into the intricacies of animal husbandry to hear

"cows really do have NO manners at all"

[mmmuffins]

Sometimes our bull stands next to a cow and gently licks her back. Does that count as romance? I think it is quite sweet.

The females regular jump each other when they are on heat. And the bull walks around making his flehmen response face, which is oh so sexy...

I have also seen confused newborn calves attempt to suckle the bull's testicles.

[horseygeorgie]

Jesus why the hell did I google that.

[AlpacaLypse]

HouseBaelish

Your dd gets the small prize for being adorably sweet!

[MimsyBorogroves]

I really want to google the chimp/frog thing, yet at the same time I really DON'T.

It's like in the early days of Hotmail and spam, I got an email saying "hey, MimsyBorogroves, do you want to see mongooses fucking?" Until that point, I had not, and yet from then on my curiosity was piqued.

[Bulbasaur]

The chimpanzee/frog thing IS an image I had managed to forgot. Until now. Thanks for that

Same here. Fuck you Sarky for bringing that back into my head space.

[Faez]

Got to the bottom of the first page and decided it was time to leave the thread. Just the thought of the frog... brain bleach

[wanttosqueezeyou]

Just going to google the chimp/frog. Why fight it?

[BoyFromTheBigBadCity]

Is is bad that the first thing I thought when I saw this thread title was 'what about cow tipping?'

[wanttosqueezeyou]

shit, not what I thought you meant at all...

[Talkingmouse]

I saw the bull in action near us once. Three lovely ladies were lined up. He strutted around, lined the first one up, bam! One thrust, done. A quick snort, shake of the head, lined the second one up, bam! One thrust again, more snorting, he was a bit wobbly on his feet, pulled himself together, got the third lined up, and yes one thrust done, and so was he as he staggered off after his one and a half minute marathon. Don't think the ladies were that impressed.

[DiseasesOfTheSheep]

And now I want to see mongoose sex.

What's so special about mongoose sex? Cow sex is pretty dull really. I have way too much animal sex trivia floating around in my brain...

[sarkymare]

Now now bulb calm down. I'm sure you will forget it again eventually

[ninetynineonehundred]

Fuck it.I'm bored
Going to Google so will see you on the other side...

[ninetynineonehundred]

Ffs!
FFS!

[FoolishFay]

I had an ancestor who not only thought about cow sex but tried to act on it. This was 1874 and he got 18 months hard labour. Fact.

[drudgewithagrudge]

I was brought up on a farm and in my innocence thought the cows were giving each other piggy backs.

When I got a little older I realised that our cows were having calves even though we didn't have a bull. I asked my dad about this and he explained about A.I. After getting my head round this I asked if the cows were surprised when they had calves when they had never met a bull.

The first naughty joke I was told when I was about ten........

Teacher. Why were you absent from school yesterday Billy?

Billy. I had to take our cow to the bull Miss.

Teacher. Couldn't your father have done that?

Billy. No Miss. It has to be the bull.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

What's so special about slug sex?

[YoullLikeItNotaLot]

I'm fascinated by animal sex - more the logistics of it than anything. I mean elephants? That must take some effort. And birds? I can't even picture a bird Willy. I have seen Ostriches kind of at it. We were driving past at a safari park & saw the messy ejaculation. Husband and I were in heaps of laughter as the kids were in shock saying "what was THAT mummy?"