...to think about cow sex?

[TiggyD]

I mean why they do it? Are they thinking about bringing baby cows into the world or satisfying a primal urge? Do bulls just want what every human male wants: to find 20 or 30 nice ladies to settle down with and spend your days humping them in a field?

Lucky pigs. No wonder they have massive balls

@ Tiggy

Do not google, do not google, I will not google the chimp/frog............

Speaking as a pig, I find there's not much romance around. If you aren't up for it, you get the chop. I once had a bit of a fling with a woman off the telly, called Rebecca Loos. It seemed quite passionate, but as soon as she had what she wanted, she didn't even kiss me goodbye, and I never heard from her again.

Ffs WHY did I open a thread about Cow sex? What did I really think it was going to be about really?
Fwiw I've often (every time I go to the natural history museum) wonder a similar thing about blue whales.

Must not Google chimp frog
Must not Google chimp frog

I had to google, poor frog

Can we go a single thread on here without monkey frog wanking?
This was a simple cow sex thread.

I have seen a couple of fascinating Ted talks about animal sex

"How a dead duck changed my life"
Homosexual and straight necrophilia - probably not for procreation purposes!

"The birds and the bees are just the beginning"
Shows how pleasure matters to a number of animals

I had seen the monkey frog wank thing before and managed to bleach it from my brain and now I can't stop thinking about it again.

Animals in zoos are probably not exhibiting very natural behaviour. I doubt they have enough time/boredom to keep wanking elsewhere.

What about dogs humping anything. Absolutely anything. It's so embarrassing when they clamp on your leg and away they go. I used to have a female dog who'd do it, so god knows how you'd describe that prediliction. Lesbian limb-pervertion bestiality?

Cos love a bit of lesbian action too.

there was a field full of dairy cows next to my primary school. Very educational and the poor teachers had to keep inventing answers to 'Miss, what are the cows doing?'

Why, oh why, did I google that

I thought the heifers/ bullocks doing the dry humping was a dominance thing?

I think I read somewhere that lions do a lot of non- reproductive shagging.

Anyway TiggyD, I seem to recall you as a male of the species, no? Would you really want to have a field of 20 to 30 ladies for humping purposes? Are you sure you've thought that one through? I mean, bovines aren't known for clearly and loudly articulating their wants, needs and opinions. Humans, on the other hand......

WTF? Why did I open this thread?

No stubborn, i personally wouldn't want a field of cows. I was talking about a hypothetical cow-man.

Footlight I am laughing my head off at slug porn.

Hypothetical cow-man! I made some great images of some of them in my twisted art student days. What a shame I have to go and do the school run and don't have time to post a picture.......

Bonobos

Slugs have way too much self respect to do slug porn.

I am regretting my decision to think I'll have a ten minute sit down with Mumsnet and a gingerbread cake.

I didn't expect frog sex aids.

Footlight - I love that you covered the slugs with a leaf to give them privacy!!

When a cow is 'a bulling' farmer terminology for on heat
She will wander around in search for a bull to serve her. She will also be mooing a lot for no particular reason.

Other cows will pay particular interest to her 'bits'. Cows typically come into season every 21 days.

Other cattle may mount the Cow on heat.

Honey, just imagine what a male teenage chimp would do with a slice of gingerbread cake.

Tiggy, never mind settling down with one field of cows, as farmers we hire a bull to come and see to our girls once a year. Bully spends his life being transported farm to farm to a new field of cows every 6 weeks.

I swear that when he trots off the lorry you can hear him say "Ladieeeeeeeees! " before he goes off to find one to do the business with.

Someone said why not hummingbirds, salmon, or, can't remember the other one. But, the others are all natural, aren't they. There's nothing natural about the domestic cow, any more. I was looking at Aurochs, the other day. Well, I don't mean looking at an Auroch. But, you know what I mean...

And do bulls think that some cows are just sexier than the others? If you regularly introduce bulls to a field of humpees is there a particularly saucy cow they always seen to go for? A Susana Reid cow?