To think that asking a Cleaner to do the dusting and hoovering would be pretty lazy on my part?

[Writerwannabe83]

I do not have a cleaner yet so I have no idea about Housework Ettiquette but when I return to work after maternity (in 6 weeks) the plan is for me to use one.

I'm putting together a list in my head of what jobs will need doing and I'm just wondering to what extent people go? Fair enough it makes sense to delegate cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms because they are time consuming jobs, but what about the little jobs? Surely doing the quick and easy things like polishing should still be something DH and I should be prepared to do?

So can I ask those with Cleaners how often you have them come round and what jobs they do for you?? And what general upkeep do you do yourselves inbetween their visits??

Fortnightly for three hours here, and she hoovers, dusts, steam cleans the floors, cleans the bathroom and kitchen, makes the bed like a hotel, and empties the dishwasher if it's full (I don't ask her to do those last two but she's an angel).

I do make sure the house is very tidy so she can just whiz 'round. That's the best way to get value for your money and their time.

I'm not sure how much my DH thinks it's going to cost, but to be fair I don't know either.

I'd happily have is doing the general hoovering and polishing but for the big jobs I would just rather pay someone else to go it.

We live in a 3 storey house so there are lots of rooms and it isn't like I can magically tidy everywhere in between looking after DS. I know I could do it whilst he naps but part of me thinks, why should do? If I have to work 32.5 hours over three days and do the vast majority of childcare, why should it be down to me to do all the housework too?!

Ideally I would just get someone in to do the kitchen and bathrooms once every two weeks. It can't be that expensive surely?! I don't know why DH is being such an arse about it? Maybe he's worried what other people will think.

Other people will think, 'well done you for getting a cleaner'! He's being an arse if he's not going to do the cleaning himself.

You will be shattered going back to work. My DS's nap time on the days I have him is vital 'sit and have a cuppa' time for me, plus getting a wash on, planning dinner etc. No way I'd have time for fucking hoovering.

We pay our cleaner £10 an hour and we are zone 3 London. We have a three story house too (4 bed, 2 bathrooms). Like I said, we pay £40 a week.

I tidy the house, wipe kitchen down every day and bleach toilets everyday but that's about it. Cleaner comes Friday mornings for 4 hours and does everything else.

Dog and barking yourself comes to mind.

We originally employed our cleaner when I was pregnant with my daughter and I had hyperemesis and couldn't move let alone clean. I said we'd just keep her til after the newborn stage. She still comes every week and my dd is just over a year now.
My cleaner is excellent and gets the house looking way better than I ever could and helps me keep on top of stuff. We have a big house and I haven't slept for a year thanks dd so I told Dh I was keeping her.
If your Dh doesn't do any cleaning then I don't think he gets to decide whether you get a cleaner. Tell him you'll split the chores on the one day you have off together and see what he says then. and then whatever he says just say you'll be getting a cleaner anyway

Our cleaner used to come every weekday for two hours, she definitely did cleaning and dusting. She basically did what I would have done in those two hours.

I really really want a cleaner. I feel like all i ever do is housework with a toddler and a newborn. There's no way i'd be able to convince dh though. I've thought about asking a cleaner to do a one off so he can see how nice it would be. Hmmmm

Why on earth would he tell anyone else? It doesn't often come up in conversation (and you can bet your bottom dollar it doesn't come up too often in men's conversations: 'Another pint Mr Writer?' 'No thanks, gotta rush, my turn to do the skirtings tonight.' 'Oh really? We have a cleaner...')

Either he has issues with spending money
Or he really can't bear the thought of someone else being in your space (I do have a friend who genuinely feels like this. He cleans though)
Or he thinks you should do it, for whatever reason (his mum always did, he's too 'working class', or you should just do it).

FECK THAT. (apart from the second point which I do have some sympathy with).

I know all finances are joint finances blah, blah, blah but I feel like saying that it's my money that's providing us with all this extra disposable income so if I want to spend some of it on a cleaner then I will!!

I genuinely do believe he has issues about not wanting a stranger in the house. His mom definitely didn't do all the cleaning, his dad is "Mr Housework" . I married the wrong generation.

Why would a cleaner not do the dusting? They are a cleaner, right? Cleaners clean!

My lovely cleaner does hovering, dusting, wiping, scrubbing, emptying bins, changing beds - whatever needs doing. That's what I pay her £40 a week for!

Oh, and getting a cleaner has removed so much of my resentment at feeling responsible for everything. It is money very well spent!

Have you ever had work done by a builder/plumber when you had to be out at work - was he ok with that?

If that is his issue then I'm afraid he needs to step up and do 50% of the cleaning that needs doing when you go back to work.

My top tip would be to prepare a list of jobs, so you can tick which jobs you want done every visit, plus identify some additional jobs to be done when requested (as many as they can get through)

My problem with the "if he won't agree to a cleaner then he's got to do 50% of the housework" argument is that it means I've got to do the other 50% when I really don't want to. I want a cleaner to do 100% of it

I think you say exactly that to him then! Its totally fair enough, especially when you are going to be bringing in more money.

I always asked my cleaners to leave the kitchen because it is an area I clean everyday in any case. I only ever asked them to do the floor.

I want to say 'Just do it' but I appreciate that it isn't always that easy.

It sounds like there's more going on here. Even more so when you say that his Dad more than pulled his weight, so its not a learnt behaviour, he's not mirroring his childhood then?

Are you comfortable accepting his 'No'?

As I said above, OH was very uncomfortable re: anyone going into our bedroom, as was I, till I got to know them and saw how very professional they are.

I've said this to OH as I would love love love to come home to a fresh bed, but he's still ansy so the compromise is I'll run the hoover around on the weekend and he changes the bed (I find it difficult due to back issues, if I HAD to I could manage, but then if it was only me I'd have a smaller bed).

The thing is we've comprised, in your case he's laid down the law, are you ok with this?

We have tried compromises before, sharing of workloads, creating a rota and checklists etc but it's just so pointless as we never stick to it.

We are in continuous cycle of housework not being done, we argue, we agree to do a rota, we stick to it for a week and then stop so we are back to being a messy house and arguing etc. we have been in this cycle for about 2 years now.

We both hate housework. He hates it so rarely does it. I hate it but do it begrudgingly because I can't stand living in total mess. I'm no domestic goddess at all, I do the minimum possible and hate every second of it, which is why I think a cleaner is the answer.

It would make our life so much easier and definitely cut down on the arguments!!!

I run a commercial cleaning company and in the past have run a domestic cleaning company but I closed that side down as I am not keen on doing private homes.

I would strongly recommend you choose a cleaner on the basis of hours worked rather than total cost of job. Not naming names but a very well known domestic cleaning company charge by job and it is a rip off. They will charge £80 for the house and be gone in less than 3 hours so the price you pay per hour is ludicrous.

You need to get a cleaner who works by number of hours.

Personally I would recommend you use a self-employed cleaner who comes to you on recommendations. There are plenty of ladies (and a few men) out there who work as a one man or woman band. These tend to be the best workers. Make sure you see their insurance documents and you must check their legal right to work in the UK.

Before the cleaner comes make sure you tidy away any clutter. I ask all my commercial clients to have at least one day a week where there is a clear desk policy. This enables the cleaners to give the desks and IT equipment one really thorough clean a week and saves them a lot of time lifting up documents and wiping underneath.

Cleaners will charge a lot more if they bring their cloths, mops etc. Much better for them to use your stuff. Make sure you have a supply of cloths (washable microfibre cloths are the best), mop, floor gel, furniture polish, toilet cleaner and a multi-purpose disinfectant.

How much you get the cleaner to do depends on how many hours you are willing to pay for. With domestic cleaning I would expect the following:

I have copied and pasted the standard specification I used for when I ran a domestic firm.

STANDARD CLEANING SPECIFICATION –DOMESTIC PROPERTIES

1 FLOORS
Sweep and mop hard floors and stairs.
Vacuum carpeted floors and stairs.
Remove any labels or chewing gum deposits from all floors.
Shake clean entrance door mats and remove sticky deposits.
Vacuum clean mat and matwell.

2 BINS
Change bins replacing liners and washing bins as required.
Dispose of waste in the external bin.

3 CROCKERY, CUTLERY AND CUPS
Collect all crockery, cutlery and glasses left about the house and return to kitchen area.

4 ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT
Sanitise landline and mobile telephones.
Sanitize televisions, stereos and remote controls.

5 CHAIRS
Damp wipe all chair legs and vacuum upholstered surfaces, including under any cushions.

6 FINGERPRINTS AND MARKS
Remove marks from doors, light switches and glass.

7 KITCHEN
Clean and sanitise the kitchen area to the highest possible standards. All food preparation areas to be wiped down using hospital grade disinfectant with specialised cloths. Kitchen tables are to be thoroughly cleaned. Sinks are cleaned and polished using cream cleaner.
The external surfaces of all kitchen appliances (kettle, toaster, fridge, microwave etc.) are to be sanitised.
Any dishcloths, rags and cloths to be sanitized.
The internal surface of the microwave is to be cleaned thoroughly.
Clean the interior of the fridge and dispose of any food that is out of date.

8 TOILETS AND SHOWERS
Toilet bowls to be cleaned to the highest possible standard. Both sides of toilet seats and lids to be cleaned, the back of the cistern and any pipe work.
Sinks and wash basins to be cleaned thoroughly.
Toilet brushes to be cleaned.
Handles on main door and cubicle doors to be thoroughly sanitised.
Mirrors to be cleaned and polished.
All chrome work (e.g. taps) to be thoroughly polished.
Cubicle walls and doors to be cleaned fully.
Shower tray, walls, doors and shower furniture to be cleaned.
All consumables such as soap, toilet rolls and hand towels to be replenished.

9 LOW LEVEL (below 2m)
Dust/wash/polish as appropriate all handrails, balustrades to stairwells, ledges, light fittings, entry phone system panel, door furnishings, letter boxes, exposed pipework, skirting boards, signs and pictures.
Dust all knick-knacks and ornaments.

10 HIGH LEVEL (above 2m)
Remove dust and cobwebs from ceilings, walls, lights, ceiling grills/vents and all other surfaces and around smoke detectors. To be performed on a monthly basis.
11 WASHING UP, DRYING UP AND REPLACEMENT OF CUTLERY AND CROCKERY
As part of the standard specification section 3, cutlery and crockery are collected and returned to the kitchen on a daily basis.
11.1 WASHING UP
To wash cutlery and crockery on a daily basis, either by hand or using client’s dishwasher.
11.2 DRYING UP
To dry cutlery and crockery on a daily basis, either by hand or using the client’s dishwasher.
11.3 REPLACEMENT
To return all washed and dried cutlery and crockery to the correct storage area.

12 BEDROOMS
Make bed (or straighten bed linen if client has already made it).

Is that the service you provide or is it what a typical customer requests?

no not lazy at all

i have a cleaning business and quite a few clients just want dusting and hoovering, its up to the individual :)

Isn't your husband a teacher? So on the three long days you do, he'll be picking up DS, doing bed and bath time. You could sweetly suggest he scrubs the bath room while DS is in the bath and whistle up a full roast dinner before you get in?
Plenty of people manage without a cleaner, I'm not one of them. But there has to be a willingness to share the load of chores you both hate doing. Problem is that there's still tons of it even with a cleaner.

change bed linen

OOH YES