I don't want to kiss my mil (shudder)

[MrsPatrickDempsey]

Ok - long story short. Been with DH for 27 yrs and have tolerated a strained relationship with mil. He is one of four and me and my two children have always been obviously treated less favourably (think babysitting, inequality with Xmas gifts, free holidays to the other siblings and not us etc). None of this is massively important to me but the children are now becoming aware of it. She is opinionated, judgmental, insincere and generally disinterested and misunderstanding of us. When DH has tried to raise issues with her she cries and blames us for things.

So we have been invited to SILs on Boxing Day - MIL will be there. My first reaction was to boycott but a) feel I need to set a bit of an example to my kids 2) don't really want to spend the day alone and c) don't really want to sink to her level! I am apprehensive about the day but will bite my tongue and nod and smile. But she always insists on this gross kissy huggy embrace when we meet. I know it is childish and ridiculous but it fills me with dread and repulsion and I don't know how to avoid it. Suggestions please....

Say "No I won't hug you I think I've a cold coming on"

Have your arms full when you meet so you can't hug her?

Meant to say that I'm not a fan of hugs anyway, and certainly not when it is someone I don't like.

You have a dreadful cold and would hate for her to catch it. Say it loudly as she approaches.

Yup, I hate this too. Grow unfeasibly large breasts so she can't actually get close enough? It's really hard. My dad always kisses on the lips, ugh. I haven't the heart to tell him I hate it.

Gin. Plenty of gin

I'd make it something worse than a cold - she might play the martyr and pretend she doesn't mind! Cooties maybe? Dengue fever? Scabies? Might as well make it worth your while!

Ebola?

Buy a cactus as a present and don't put it down until it is safe.

How good are you with stage make up? Could you fabricate some cold sores?

How about "Is that a cold sore I see on your lip MIL? better not hug or kiss you just in case!".

seriously though, I would sniff a bit and say I had a cold and don't want to pass it on.

Ebola would probably empty the whole room - although you might quite like that! Cold sore is good. Use lipstick as eyeliner - you will look nearly dead!

Ooooo file does this. I'm not a hugger. Marking my place

That should be FIL not file

Wear a studded vest while carrying the cactus. You'll have your hands full and be completely unhuggable through the studs. Or maybe try an inflatable onesie.

Did you know disinterested means impartial? I didn't.

Feign the runs as you arrive, run to the loo, MN for 20 mins, wipe head with water for added authenticity then emerge and ask for a gin to settle the stomach. Repeat as necessary.

Grandpa IL, in his late 90s, used to kiss me on the lips. He is lovely but it made me feel sick, esp as he always has dribble on his chin [boak].

These days I get in there first and offer my check. It's tolerable. Could you do the same?

YANBU. Sounds like it's all for show. I'd hold something and just smile and say hi.

Hate people hugging and kissing me.Maybe I tense up, but people always end up missing my cheek or kissing my hair. Ha, probably is my awkwardness come to think of it.

i don't kiss my dm [not very close so has never felt right] let alone anyone else, lips for dh/dp, cheek kiss everyone else, lips are a BIG NO NO ! ugh!!

Get her on the back foot and grab her, smacked on the check and quick waltz roun the hall. End with an elbow in the ribs and raucous laughter- she will be grateful to be ignored next time

Ha smacker on the cheek though maybe just smack her I suppose

loving this one karasea, totally brilliant !

Karasea has the solution!

Garlic, onions, then step towards her and exhale.

Evil lot on this thread. Loving it, but then, my MIL has joined John Cleese's parrot!