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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DP is being a bit out of order regarding his son and ex wife?

40 replies

9o700 · 16/12/2014 19:38

His eldest son has said he wants a playstation 4 for christmas. He already has a PS3. His mum has said she doesn't think he should get one as the games are too expensive and he's best off sticking with the ps3 he already has.

DP has now taken it upon himself to say that dss should definitely get a ps4 and if she can't get him one, he should give his christmas money to dp so he can go and get him one. He even stood on the doorstep debating this with his ex saying if she gives him the money he'll go and buy the son one. This led to her saying defensively "no I'll get him one!" But she obviously totally backed into a corner with this and I feel it's a bit unfair. I have told DP he should leave it alone and let her sort her own christmas presents out, he disagrees and says he's doing the best thing by his son but isn't that like saying his mother isn't??

I don't know why, I just feel a bit angry about it. One of the reasons she divorced him was that he was controlling with the kids.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 16/12/2014 19:41

He sounds like a prick!

Why are you with someone who is controlling? No matter who he's controlling.

Would you want him acting like this with your dc should you have any together?

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 16/12/2014 19:42

You're right- he shouldn't be undermining her like that. Completely out of order.

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 16/12/2014 19:42

Eugh! What a knob! If he really wants the child to have it he should pay for it himself!

Take note of how he treats her. It's a glimpse into your future if you and he should split.

TrendStopper · 16/12/2014 19:43

He wants to get his son a ps4 for his christmas but wants his ex wife to pay for it. What a catch he is.

Finola1step · 16/12/2014 19:43

He's giving you a crystal ball moment. Look hard.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 16/12/2014 19:45

Was just about to say what Finola did. Think long and hard OP. Long and hard.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 16/12/2014 19:46

So he has turned up at his ex's doorstep demanding she gives him money so he can go and buy a ps4.

That's quite odd surely if he was that keen on getting one for him he should buy it himself

Boomtownsurprise · 16/12/2014 19:46

Aaah he's a Disney dad. You will have this every social celebration.

It's all about the ex. The kid? Not so much. Sorry, but that's tit for tat /control / etc not what child wants or needs.

But you knew that. Sorry op. That's a drama set to roll on years Xmas Sad

Original poster
9o700 · 16/12/2014 19:47

We can't afford to buy him one. He has this habit of saying that his ex doesn't bother with the Kidd, doesn't understand them, doesn't understand technology, doesn't do the best thing by the kids etc.

The other day in the car he just blurted out "oh the poor lads, it's so bloody quiet for them at their house, she doesn't bother with them" Confused it's just mad. I just wish he'd back off. We will never be able to have kids together, good job really because I think he'd be a nightmare!

OP posts:
VodkaJelly · 16/12/2014 19:48

So who is going to buy the games which are a lot more expensive? Your DP? or will he harras his ex into buying more?

VanitasVanitatum · 16/12/2014 19:48

have you told him what you think? Would he listen? You're absolutely right, if he can't see that if say it's a big red flag.

tumbletumble · 16/12/2014 19:49

YANBU. I feel really sorry for his ex - he must be a nightmare to co-parent with.

Original poster
9o700 · 16/12/2014 19:50

And then last night "well I should be having DSS on his birthday as it's my weekend - that's unless she puts it into his head that he shouldn't". (Nothing to do with the fact that the poor lad is approaching 20 then and might have better plans than spending birthday with dad?! Hmm

OP posts:
carabos · 16/12/2014 19:51

Does he have a trick pelvis? If not, can't see why you would bother with him.

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 16/12/2014 19:51

I have to ask OP- why are you with him? He isnt a nice person. Just because you dont have children doesnt mean its ok to be with someone like that.

Original poster
9o700 · 16/12/2014 19:51

Yes I've told him, he flies off the handle saying only he has his kids best interests at heart so it's understandable that I don't understand.

OP posts:
OldIrving · 16/12/2014 19:53

is his ex single? TBH she sounds like better prospect. Your DP sounds like a right ignorant self-righteous plonk.

What are his good points???

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 16/12/2014 19:53

Hang on! This is a 20 year old son? Not a child? Why the hell is he even going near his exwife then? They have nothing to discuss- he is going out of his way to antagonise her. Hes an arsehole.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 16/12/2014 19:54

I think he's the one that doesn't understand

OldIrving · 16/12/2014 19:54

20?! Missed that. Seems like this bloke is seeking a reason to stay involved in ex's life.

Original poster
9o700 · 16/12/2014 19:54

No the ps4 is for the younger son (16)

OP posts:
Original poster
9o700 · 16/12/2014 19:55

He also has a learning disability so can't come and go independently. Sorry not drip feeding, just doing a million things at once

OP posts:
WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 16/12/2014 19:56

At 16 the child can get into his dad's car without dad even getting out of it. There is no need for this man to be kn her doorstep dictating what SHE should spend her own money on.

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 16/12/2014 19:57

Xpost. Does he need assisted from the house to car?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 16/12/2014 19:59

He sounds like my dad, used to promise things, then lets us down meaning mum had to bail him out.

My dads latest promise nearly lost my DB his house.