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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

half a day's notice!

155 replies

EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 16/12/2014 11:56

A friend texted to say that the school had sent her a text (I don't get them, which is frustrating since I've opted IN for them) to say the children need to wear "something christmassy" tomorrow, I.E. a christmas jumper or similar.

It's another fundraiser.

half a day's notice. I can't get into town at short notice like that, most parents need notice. and I'd resent paying out £s for a christmas jumper for my child to wear ONCE in order to donate 50p to charity.

My poor friend has to find christmas clothing for 4 kids!

My son and I don't even celebrate christmas.

It's not like I can just pop out and get a pagan festival jumper for him to wear to not feel utterly excluded by this. So instead of wrapping presents and tidying the room ready for solstice this weekend, I'm now going to spend the little bit of energy I have on tacking some greenery to a jumper for him, because he'll be disappointed if I don't.

WIBU if I make him a Holly King head dress and send him in with that on?
WIBU to email about their policy of inclusion and the lack of notice?

OP posts:
Hedgehogsbuzz1 · 16/12/2014 18:09

Christmassy is a very relaxed term. Anything red, green, white will do. Add some tinsel and you're done

Hedgehogsbuzz1 · 16/12/2014 18:10

Even a winter hat and scarf are Christmassy

Original poster
EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 16/12/2014 18:20

I think Hakluyt wins. especially if it was a decapitated one!

OP posts:
Annietheacrobat · 16/12/2014 18:22

Really frustrating. DD's preschool did this. We don't have any tinsel or Santa hats lying around at home. Ended up spending £5 on some flashing antlers from a shop in the hospital I work in.

FishWithABicycle · 16/12/2014 18:33

I've only skimmed the thread rather than reading every post, so apologies if this has been covered. However:

Our school has a deliberate policy of giving very little notice for this sort of thing, precisely because they want to ensure that no-one goes to the expense of buying something, or the trouble of making something, especially for this purpose but that you only wear what you already have.

When we had a christmas jumper day recently, I found out that morning (there had been a notice up the previous day but it was an after-school-club day so I didn't see it) DC had no christmas jumper. A plain jumper was decorated with a couple of christmassy items I happened to have about the house by attaching with safety pins (a baby santa hat far too small for any of us to wear any more, and a plastic tree decoration) et voila - took 5 minutes and cost nothing. If I'd had more notice I probably would have been tempted to spend 20 quid or work on it for hours - I'm glad there wasn't more notice.

WyrdByrd · 16/12/2014 18:35

Definitely email.

Our school has been taken over by an Academy recently & seems to be largely ignoring Christmas which is a bit disappointing, but so many schools seem to be really taking the piss the year.

TotallySociallyInept · 16/12/2014 18:43

Yeah you're right hakl wins Blush

Still proud tho twas a good'un

Sprink · 16/12/2014 18:45

Fuck you, you message-gobbling phone!!! (Ah, that's better.)

As I was saying...

I'm wondering why you haven't tapped into the mumsnet(work) of parents to help with this. I've occasionally sent a panic text/email to others, and one parent at our school is notorious for tagging everyone on Facebook at this time of night for help. Most are happy to do it; I certainly am as I've been on the receiving end of great generosity myself.

I also wonder about the feasibility of a (small) business opportunity. Is there a hole in the market for an Instamam/Instagran/Instamum company? Someone with an overflowing Dressing Up box, baking tools and larder to make Mary Berry green with envy, and a mini HobbyCraft in the house.

Probably wouldn't need to charge much, really. It would be a labour of love?

LastMinuteDotMum. MagicMummy.

By the way, all names are trademark pending except this one, which may be a winner: Half a Day's Notice, which belongs to you, OP.

Ps--I love how you've nothing Christmassy but happen to have a spare cape about. You sound interesting.

Original poster
EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 16/12/2014 18:54

I have 2 small boys, the capes were from halloween :) cost 99p when I got them. Smallest wouldn't wear it (it was his second birthday, bless!)

most of the parents here aren't friendly to those of us who didn't grow up here. Nothing overt, but not interested in talking to us, never mind trading fb details. My friend has been here 7 years, I'm the first "mum friend" she has (with her 5th child being in the same class as my 4 year old). So even if they'd help each other out I find it hard to imagine them bothering with me. The spare cape reappeared a few days later (with no thanks) in my little boy's book bag drawer at school.

OP posts:
XiCi · 16/12/2014 19:10

You have been moaning about this situation for 7 hours on here when all you needed to do was pin a bit of tinsel on a jumper which would take probably less than a minute so yes YABU. It's annoying when you get short notice for something but it's not as if you have to do anything remotely difficult
I think this thread is more about you vocalising how wonderfully special and 'out there' you think you are for celebrating solstice instead of Christmas. And then when someone asks you a genuine question about it you cut them straight off because that's not what this thread is about, even though you yourself brought it up. Yawn fucking yawn

PowderMum · 16/12/2014 19:20

OP i'm with you on the notice thing especially with primary schools, when my DC were there they just didn't get that as a WOHP getting a note in the book bag that tomorrow was 'dress up as a .....' day was something that could be achieved, along with cooking tea, doing homework, baths and bedtime. They also thought that calling meetings at the end of school with about the same amount of notice was acceptable.

I don't think this has anything to do with you not celebrating Christmas, we do celebrate Chritsmas although my DH and DC are not religious and if questioned about their religion do not put Christian. It is just about schools and short notice. I would say that I've been there done it and got the t-shirt, but in realty the t-shirt has been ripped from my back and customised for a school event Grin

SparkleZilla · 16/12/2014 19:39

right there with you ChippingInLovesChristmasLights

SparkleZilla · 16/12/2014 19:40

I'm not Christian, dont believe in god (or God or gods) but i love Christmas, tree is up, its a few days off spending with family

Boomtownsurprise · 16/12/2014 19:42

You missed the school letter? The text? The calendar of events given out at September? The other mums conversation? The mn threads? That it's been mentioned as a nationwide fundraiser supported by all local councils?

Congratulations! Get thee down to HM primark tesco et al where everyone else has bought there's....

Original poster
EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 16/12/2014 19:47

thanks, XiCi, for the judgement.

I don't HAVE tinsel or any of that stuff. And I am and was unable to get to anywhere to purchase it.

I have repeatedly said so.

I have also not been sat here constantly. I mumsnet between other things.
I honestly couldn't give a single rats arse what you think about what I do or don't celebrate.

I told those who asked to send me a message and I'll explain off here specifically because this thread is not about comparative bloody religions or who's festival is best... I'd be just as annoyed if it was short notice for pirate day, or tudor day, or whatever-else-they-dream-up day.

OP posts:
TiggyD · 16/12/2014 19:48

YABU.

You don't celebrate xmas so the school didn't text you with info about an xmas activity.

smileybadger · 16/12/2014 19:51

cover an old tshirt in leaves..or draw them on..ivy berries. green man

Original poster
EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 16/12/2014 19:55

what letter? what calendar of events? what conversations, since no-one knew until mid-morning? what threads about this particular school who wasn't doing a jumper day until today? I know there's mumsnet local, but that's a bit specific! the local council may well have supported it, but our school wasn't doing it. Fairly sure that day was last week, and we were told they weren't doing it for the children, staff did but the kids were told "uniform as usual".

And I am unable to get to primark, tesco, or anywhere else. And if I was, where's the money supposed to come from to pay for it?

oh forget it. obviously everyone is able to get everywhere at short notice, have a plethora of things for festivals of other religions just in case of needing them, and have money to waste. Just me being disabled, skint, and not prepared for festivals of every religion just in case!

Sorry for being so unreasonable!

OP posts:
soverylucky · 16/12/2014 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 16/12/2014 19:57

oh, and they phone me about christian activities to make sure I'm ok with him being part of it. not about the muslim ones, or the hindu, or the jewish ones - that's them being unreasonable, they're all the same to me. Interesting to learn about but not what I believe.

OP posts:
plummyjam · 16/12/2014 20:06

I'm right with you. Stuff like this is a pointless pain in the arse. And I do celebrate Christmas.

TotallySociallyInept · 16/12/2014 20:35

Hi I'm handing out grips.
Anyone who has a po face and seeing red after completely missing the point of the thread and the repeated post of the OP to clarify the point.
grips going free........

Hakluyt · 16/12/2014 20:41

"oh, and they phone me about christian activities to make sure I'm ok with him being part of it. not about the muslim ones, or the hindu, or the jewish ones - that's them being unreasonable, they're all the same to me. Interesting to learn about but not what I believe."

They do that because children in state schools in the UK are expected to actively participate in Christian worship. They are not expected to do the same when they learn about Islam, Hinduism or Judaism. There is a significant difference. If you do not want him taking part in Christian worship you have to opt him out.

EustaciaBenson · 16/12/2014 22:26

Op yanbu thats way to short notice. Im find it funny how so many posters say "just go to primark" or "pop into hobbycraft" as if thats an option for everyone with short notice. There are such things as rural areas! And of course you arent going to have tinsel etc if you dont celebrate Christmas. I personally thing the best idea was the paper snowflakes, easy to do and more winter than Christmas although you do seem openminded anyway more so than some people on here

But honestly you need to complain about the lack of notice thats just not on at all

Hakluyt · 17/12/2014 09:34

OP- my post of 20.41 yesterday is very important- particularly if you are new to school life.