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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To wonder what are the most [shock] family habits you've ever encountered?

440 replies

Sapph1e · 15/12/2014 23:24

Mine are: an ex years ago was one boy with two sisters and one night we got talking about what they called their genitalia when they were growing up. I was flabbergasted when he said "Oh, I had a 'cock' and my sisters had 'minges'" ShockShock

However that was not as bad as the family BBQ (same family) where we were all sitting around a table having a lovely lunch; me, ex-bf, his parents, sisters, sisters' boyfriends and then ex-MIL casually mentioned that she hadn't woken up till 9am that morning.
"That's not true," says ex-FIL promptly, "I heard you having a shit at 5." Shock Shock Shock Shock did not cover it.

OP posts:
Janethegirl · 17/12/2014 22:47

This thread makes me think I'm normal 'I really don't think so' Grin

Hell, I just can't compete with the other posters!!

deste · 17/12/2014 23:02

If DM is cooking something nice, the whole family (me, DH, DF and DSis) all stand by the cooker with our mouths open pretending to be cuckoos and begging for nibbles

I have tears running down my face at that.

aJumpedUpPantryBoy · 17/12/2014 23:06

Ex-colleague used to constantly tell us all how well endowed two of her three (adult) sons were.
One never ever got a mention when she would boast of their size - either he was shy and she hadn't seen it to comment on or he was lacking in that department.

lessonsintightropes · 17/12/2014 23:18

My sister's (Siberian Forest Cats) have conversations via my sis, nephew and me in Russian accents. My half-Burmese, and very forgiving cat, puts up with being aero-planed by all, and spoken to in a vaguely Chinese accent.

We sing all the time. If it's a bit cold, it's referred to completely unironically as a bit chillywillywoowah, accompanied by the 'I'm a bit cold' song.

At the arrival to the table of any home cooked dish, all my siblings (and the marry-in spouses have learned to join in) with a major chorus of ooooh-oooh! With various compliments on the look and smell of the dish.

On any given birthday, the birthday person expects when picking up the phone to be greeted with a sung 'Happy Birthday' which I have delivered in lifts/queues (though quietly). Birthday cards, no matter to whom, have the age with little flashes around it as the centrepiece of the written bit.

No-one is ever allowed in the bathroom (from tiniest babies upwards) in the bathroom, which is always locked, when someone else is in there. This springs from my DDad keeping his false teeth dark with four kids. My DH finds the inability to come and get his contact lenses when I am having a shower most annoying, but has learned to live with it. It's referred to as someone having their OPB (own personal business) to attend to.

My DDad used to work long shifts and so was referred to as PTOD (poor tired old Dad.. i.e. don't wake him up) which has now turned into PTO...x (insert acronym here. Which all four sibs still stick to.

Wine is greeted with further oohs and very exaggerated claims about vintage and origins, especially if it's a four quid supermarket home brand.

Are we wierd? Or are these just slightly eccentric family traditions?

Mousefinkle · 17/12/2014 23:23

In secondary school I was friends with a male and a lesbian female, they were pretty close friends and she often used to go to his house after school to play guitar together or whatever. His mum used to leave out clean towels (?) and a packet of condoms on his bed every time she came over "just in case" and "but she's gay, mum" didn't wash with her, she'd give a little wink certain she was onto him Confused. Not to stereotype but lesbian friend was very stereotypically lesbian iykwim, most people thought she was a boy. Also this was the same mum that used to tell my friend, her son, about the amazing sex she and her boyfriend were having, he told me once (aged about 13-14) that she'd told him how much she likes being on top Shock. I wish I was lying about that one... He used to have to put his big earphones on sometimes just to get to sleep with the sounds of his mum and partner DTD , felt sorry for him tbh.

I had another friend in primary school that had a pretty interesting mother. I recall being seven, she was changing friends newborn baby brother's nappy in full view of us, I didn't know where to look and she said something like "oh don't be so shy, it's only a willy!" I was horrified. She also used to leave the bathroom door open all of the time. She'd make them all get bathed, hair done nicely and best clothes on before they could go downstairs and open Christmas presents "to look nice on the pictures" Hmm. Friend wasn't allowed to spend any of her birthday money, it all went into a bank account. She wasn't allowed any posters on her wall which, aged ten, was virtually unheard of (no Boyzone to kiss goodnight?! Shock). She smoked so much that she'd even wake up in the middle of the night, smoke one and not realise she'd done it until the morning when she woke up and saw the fag in the ashtray. Friend had a massive (and I mean huge) drawer of make up, nail Polish and weird things like cuticle pushers aged five.

Oh yeah! Just remembered. Friends Step dad was late home from work one day so she called him up all frantic and distraught screaming that the house had been burgled so he'd rush home to her rescue, when he got in she gave him a massive bollocking for being late home Confused. She was also forever getting the poor sod to do loads of unnecessary DIY and sometimes he'd finish a room then she'd change her mind and make him start again. She actually couldn't decide on the living room so it sat bare for a couple of years. She made him learn how to ride a moped so she could have the car purely to drive the kids to school, she rarely went anywhere else in it and the school was a ten minute walk away. So he had to ride a little moped around to work and back, he worked miles and miles away. God, she was pretty mean. She also thought she was quite attractive but she had really long straggly thin hair, reminded me of a witch Grin. Could go on and on about their family, fucking weird! They regularly ate pigs hearts as well...

SkaterGrrrrl · 17/12/2014 23:23

Honking at this thread.

NorksAreMessy · 17/12/2014 23:25

Thank you for this brilliant thread. Have asked for it to go in classics

BingBongSongEveryDamnDay · 17/12/2014 23:29

MIL offered to make our wedding cake. I was all for buying one from a bakery, but no, DH thought it would be nice to accept this. Plus, we knew PILs couldn't really afford to buy us a present, cake was to be our present.

PIL's house is not especially clean. And they have a dog.

Wedding day came and went. A lovely time was had by all. We cut the top tier on the day for people who travelling, and did the rest of the cake the next day, as most guests were local or staying for a few days, and were mortified to find it was mouldy inside. Obviously, we didn't give it out. The top tier, which had no dowels/supports stuck into it, was fine. Thank goodness.

We've never told anyone in RL. But I won't touch anything MIL makes now, nor let DD over there for mealtimes. I don't know what people think happened to the cake, shame as it was really pretty.

LindaJill · 17/12/2014 23:33

All our pets talk (via us)... The dogs are super polite and kind, but quite dim and talk in West Country accents. The cats are london gangsters and are terribly rude. Me and dd love it and DH will join in too, but my DS thinks we are barking mad.

The children's cuddly toys all talk too. Quite a lot of them are French and smoke (puts pencil in teddies' paw), they are utterly louche. (Have teen DCs who find this funny, even DS).

We have entire conversation which are lines from films or TV. DD and me once spoke all day in lines from Gavin and Stacey. We love it.

LindaJill · 17/12/2014 23:35

And we sing too, mainly like we are in a really hammy opera. Even DS 2 who is 7 can do a good recitative about how the Frosties have run out.

SilverHoney · 17/12/2014 23:39

My family are the opposite to the 'over-friendlies'. Youngest sibling was having a house party so me and DB were holed up in DMs room supervising / watching TV on a laptop. DB sat in a chair next to the bed, as he didn't want to sit fully clothed, on top of the covers 'in bed' with me... No idea what he thought I would try Hmm

WyldChyld · 17/12/2014 23:45

ProfessorPickles - come and join us! DH's family is very different and when we started going out (and he was basically just treated as one of the family) he was a bit shell shocked about the nutty family but now, he loves it! We used to have a chest of drawers type thing on wheels which we used as a veg holder - he used to sit on top of that so you could wheel it over to the stove and he would happily sit and watch for ages.

Deste - you'd be amazed at how much it works as well, even after all these years.

BumpAndGrind · 17/12/2014 23:52

DP, his dad, his sister and two of his cousins all call each other Will and refer to each other as Will.

It's a long standing family joke and it's odd. They always know which Will the other one is talking about.

None of them are actually called Will.
Hmm

Lovecat · 18/12/2014 00:01

Oh god, DD is a singer, her latest is the fluffy dog song, to be sung whenever a fluffy dog is spotted. It starts to the tune of the William Tell overture (fluffy dog, fluffy dog, fluffy dog dog dog) but then she starts freestyling and expects me to add in counterpoint and harmonies... (which I do Blush )

Jill2015 · 18/12/2014 00:07

I love the wine wolf howling family, and the singing 'look at the price of the blue rays', also the various singing/ speaking animals. Grin

SicklySuzy · 18/12/2014 00:07

This is the best thread ever Xmas Grin

I so want to go for drinks with the wine wolves, that would be amazing.

emeline · 18/12/2014 00:13

Lovecat that's hilarious! How old is DD?!

CheerfulYank · 18/12/2014 00:24

I do the Lion King thing with any small living creature. Blush Baby, cat, dog, it matters not.

Also I speak so ridiculously to my children as babies that it's a wonder they learned to talk properly.

I also randomly pop into a terrible Boston accent. I have no idea why. I am American but certainly not from Boston. I think if I ask DH to get in the cah or take out the gahbage one more time he may actually divorce me. :o

NoMontagues · 18/12/2014 01:22

Oh yes. I'm a singer too. Lots of songs with names of the DCs inserted instead of the real lyrics. Also many many references to ridiculous baby chat that seems to flow unendingly out of my mouth as soon as I am in the vicinity of a small person.

4mo DS talks to me "through" DH and has a very rural and antiquated Irish accent.

Teddies also talk, I am the culprit here. I also do this thing where I hold them in such a way (clutch their upper back and neck) so as to be able to move their heads and arms whilst they talk which makes them very expressive. Only last week I managed to get 13yo DD to talk directly to one teddy and offer an apology to it after it cried to her that it hated being left under the bed the whole time. It was quite amusing to see too-cool-for-school DD looking into Teddy's eyes and saying "ok ok I'm sorry teddy! I won't leave you there anymore! I promise!".

Perhaps I should find a way to animate all the cups and plates also residing under her bed...

MyBaby1day · 18/12/2014 05:03

I think it's us that are the odd ones I'm afraid (although I'd really say different rather than odd) but we do have a puppet!!! Grin. Was starting to think I was the only one!, he's lovely, but I am a nice, "normal" girl too!!.

M27J5M · 18/12/2014 06:13

Totally made my morning reading this thread Smile

Boleh · 18/12/2014 06:16

I didn't think our family were that odd but we clearly are!

We do the thing where to get bits of good while DM was carving or dishing up we'd gather round and cheep like baby birds ?? Entirely independently DP has discovered that if he gets hungry while he is driving then squawking loudly like an angry baby seagull will cause me to feed him whatever snack food we have in the car! It was really funny the first time, less so now but I'm so generally sufficiently grateful that he's doing the long drive I am happy to put biscuits in his mouth!
My Dad also used to occasionally answer the phone with 'hello, Battersea dogs home' for no apparent reason.
I'm sure there are plenty of others that I won't realise are wierd until someone else mentions them..!

At other peoples houses there was an ex boyfriends mum who used to cook meals with no attention to when the different components would be ready so she just played the various bits up as she went along and microwaved it all at the end - urgh. She also used to have screaming rows with other people and throw in 'boleh agrees with me don't you Boleh?!'

TheLovelyBoots · 18/12/2014 06:23

My sister in law gave me and my husband an "artistic" photograph of her vagina for our wedding.

TheLovelyBoots · 18/12/2014 06:27

I think the speaking in voices thing is just hilarious. We have the most bonkers neighbors ever and my husband and I can amuse ourselves for days speaking to each other in their voices. They are mad as hatters.

MyBaby1day · 18/12/2014 06:32

I have an illness (praying for surgery for it next year) and needed a test doing. I was nervous and my Mum asked if I wanted this puppet (I am super close to it) and nodded. This Nurse was lovely and while getting the stuff out for the test asked if he was a little badger?, he isn't, he's a panda and I said. I didn't see the funny side at the time as I was nervous (it was all fine by the way) BUT we discussed it at home and now we say he's half badger!! ha ha. One day my Mum came in and said "is this the badger sanctuary"?!! Grin. It makes him cuter than ever if you ask me!!. Anyone else out there with a puppet?.

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