To wonder what are the most [shock] family habits you've ever encountered?

[Sapph1e]

Mine are: an ex years ago was one boy with two sisters and one night we got talking about what they called their genitalia when they were growing up. I was flabbergasted when he said "Oh, I had a 'cock' and my sisters had 'minges'"

However that was not as bad as the family BBQ (same family) where we were all sitting around a table having a lovely lunch; me, ex-bf, his parents, sisters, sisters' boyfriends and then ex-MIL casually mentioned that she hadn't woken up till 9am that morning.
"That's not true," says ex-FIL promptly, "I heard you having a shit at 5." did not cover it.

Ex's sister who was in her in 20s use to go for a shit with the toilet door open. She lived at home. She'd do this when we went for a meal there. Her mum or dad would get really angry and slam the door. She'd then start whining that she was missing the conversation whilst she was straining.

I am PMSL at the monkey giving people a telling off

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard Oh that's normal if you're alone!

Someone who liked to "kill his pudding" before eating it: he'd stab it repeatedly, wildly and gleefully with a fork.

My mum never closes the bathroom door. Ever. Doesn't matter who is in the house, or what she's doing in there, be it laying in the bath or having a crap. She's never had any glove puppets though

XMil asked me at Christmas dinner if my recurrent but not recurring that day cystitis was an STD. When I said no she turned to her other DIL, who was a doctor, amd asked if I was telling the truth. There were 12 of us at table. They all turned to the doctor and started asking her questions about UTIs.

It was my last Christmas with them.

Current ILs. 6 hour Christmas meal three years ago. They were all glued to the TV, which was behind me. The whole time. Zero conversation.

We are NC now but not due to that day.

Ooh and slightly more amusing. My very otherwise proper table manners wise XILs and ex too, and his brother, would put their cutlery down and lick their pudding plate. Formal meal til the very end, informal meals too, til the end, then they all licked their pudding plates. :o

One of my Mums friends serves different food for men and women! Apparently ladies need lighter food.

And an ex and his family used to dress up for family get together on a theme. One time it was 'fruit and vegetables'. I though ex was joking when he suggested we go as cauliflowers - but no!

Actual lol at nomnom family!

I would have pissed myself.

Similar to the men and women's food I know someone that will feed you (or at least offer to feed you. I've never accepted) based on your weight.

OH got offered cake / biscuits / ice-cream but she had ryvitas and low fat cream cheese for me.... and I was heavily pregnant with DS. She is renouned for it though and a bit looney.

Useful present for the girl who would "lament missing the conversation" while straining on the toilet; baby monitor! Just be careful to get the listening and receiving ends in the right rooms...

Unfortunately I think it's probably my family who are the odd ones

I knew dh was a keeper when he dutifully made the effort to look interested while, on his first visit to my parents, my dearest father insisted on showing dh his graphs detailing the chicken's egg laying habits. In fact I am pretty sure the first words my dad ever uttered to dh were 'would you like to see my chicken graphs?'. I was quite astounded that dh didn't run for the hills after that.

Xvvxv I think I know her ! Seriously does her name begin with C ?

I had a friend that used to do that. At MY house !

I speak as the dog all the time. She has a special accent that I do.

Most of these sound completely normal to me. slightly jealous I've never been asked to dress up as a cauliflower

This is a very funny thread

I had an ex whose mum raved on about how nice abum he had! She would really stare at it too. But then she was very strange. Also one inlaws dentures part falls down when she chews and makes a hideous noise and her husband is a going to the toilet with the door open type, or getting changed with the door open

BIL lets his mum in the bathroom to wash his back, and use the toilet while he's in the tub. He's 29.

He also returns the favour for her.

If he buys his GF a gift, he will also buy the same for his DM. Same goes for dates, takes GF to a restaurant on a date one night - takes his mum the next.

Its weird central.

Um...

I dated a guy who was in a family band. Not famous or anything-polka music.

His sister dropped out of the band. They replaced her with a non-relative and still performed under the branding of "a family band."

That's weird, right? I thought so...

This is a magnificent thread

A friend of mine had oral sex with her sister when they were both children, 9 and 11 I think. Both girls. They'd seen their parents doing it when all in a caravan together, and decided to 'try it' :O

I've really got the giggles at 'give it a thwack day' Everytime I think I'm over it I start laughing again!

When I was 16/17 I went to then-BFs house for the first time, no hello or anything from his Dad as I walked through the door, just a 'if you have sex in his room take the duvet off first, the cover is clean on' we weren't planning on having sex, we'd only been together a few weeks!

An ex's parents had a unique decorating style. They had industrial carpet in the living room which continued UP THE WALL to the metallic room divider serving as a dado rail. Their cat used to come tearing in the room and scale the wall carpet and stay clinging to the wall like some weird cat carpet brooch. [Shock]

When I first met DH's family for a meal, I was quite taken aback when his Dad brandished a bottle, asked "Wine?" and the whole family went "Awooooo!" like wolves at him. Apparently it's an old family joke and he forgot to tell me about it....

(But I have spoken as all of our pets from time to time... )

I once had a short-lived fling with a man who was very close to his parents and numerous siblings. He would talk to them on the phone and the conversation was peppered with him saying "purr". It was an expression of contentment apparently, similar to how you might say "yawn". Gave me the willies!