To wonder what are the most [shock] family habits you've ever encountered?

[Sapph1e]

Mine are: an ex years ago was one boy with two sisters and one night we got talking about what they called their genitalia when they were growing up. I was flabbergasted when he said "Oh, I had a 'cock' and my sisters had 'minges'"

However that was not as bad as the family BBQ (same family) where we were all sitting around a table having a lovely lunch; me, ex-bf, his parents, sisters, sisters' boyfriends and then ex-MIL casually mentioned that she hadn't woken up till 9am that morning.
"That's not true," says ex-FIL promptly, "I heard you having a shit at 5." did not cover it.

My mum used to use the lit end of her fag to trim off loose threads on clothes.

My grandad used to use the lard straight out of the chip pan to smooth down his comb-over .

Now you don't get those sorts of tips in the Readers Digest, do you.

And you're welcome.

And now I'll share the worst bit - the ex in my OP is my eldest daughter's father.....!

My friend and her family participate in fart stepping. You count how many steps you can fit in whilst farting.

My black cat speaks with a French accent..he is very elegant.

I once had an ex who was very close to his DM.
I went to his place to wake him from a nap and his mum let me in (she lived next door)
Anyway I got into bed naked with him and cuddled him and as he woke up he said
''Oh its you, I thought you were my mum''

Is that the cock and minge man? Or the one with the father who heard the mum shit at 5am? Is weirdness genetic? If so, you're Dd's screwed.

Big - they are one and the same! My ex was the child of FIL who heard MIL - ahem - etc......
But I agree. No hope! She's remarkably well grounded though so I can but hope.....

Speaking of talking as the pet, DP and I often talk to each other as our 5 month old baby

A friend of mine recounted a time when she was at her ex's parents house and his mother decided to start chasing him round the house with no knickers on
Yes he was a grown man and my friend just stood there in horror. Apparently they were all fine with being naked but still!
This woman also bought my friend crotchless pants for her birthday - for her son's girlfriend! And not even as a joke!

On another thread, I mentioned this one I came across: when birthday or Christmas presents are wrapped, the recipient is allowed to be in the room too, but they have to be blindfolded. Everyone there seems to love this.

This seemed rather odd to my DP and me at first, but we decided to adopt this idea too, just for ourselves!

My exs Mum holding a hanky to his nose so he could blow it.

He was 25 at the time.

Age gap between me and XH, his nieces at the time were 25/26 and I was younger. I met them for the first time at a family wedding. The eldest one squealed 'Uncle Fuckwit, Uncle Fuckwit!' And sat on his knee. And kissed him. On the mouth. With tongues.

This thread is wonderful. The nomnom family, the buttock-holders, the bonio-munchers. Thank you! :o

My grandad used to use the lard straight out of the chip pan to smooth down his comb-over I did a pig snort at this!

Eww, you lot know some right fucking weirdos.

Mine isn't that weird. I used to go out with someone who, whenever anyone mentioned the Queen, would (along with his mother) started squealing "The Queen! The Queen!" In a high pitched falsetto (I assume to sound like her).

It got old.

I had a beautiful boyfriend when I was about 20, I was properly infatuated; and people did try to warn me that he was a 'bit weird religious'. Didn't care... first time I went to his parents house (in a skirt, been warned about not wearing trousers), sat down for tea, and they sung grace, loudly, and it wasn't quick. I tried not to giggle. They had no modern anything in their house. Think the duggars with less kids! My bf was mortified and very torn, as he had irreversibly sinned with me!

And my exP's family... the first time I met his folks his dad farted in my face (deliberatly) when going up into the attic to show me his guns...wore a tatty 70's bum length dressing gown (naked underneath); and on getting ready to go out for dinner, his mum came in in full suspenders undies etc, and proudly proclaimed that her and her H still has sex every day! I should have left then, but have 3DD's with their offspring. Needless to say he is a bit screwed up!

My Dh told me him and a friend of his were driving a long when they saw a woman rummaging in some waste bins and recycling banks looking like a loony and both he and said friend were cackling at her... He then realized as they drove past said woman it was his mother so his friend stopped and asked her what she was doing and they were told she was looking for tin cans as she was collecting them as she did every other day... I howled.

A few weeks after hearing this story we were stopped at a set of lights and lo and behold there was MIL rummaging in a bin which was attached to the railings of the crossing. We were also at her house when she told us her next door neighbour had told her off for rummaging in their bins and was genuinely outraged by this and said that she should be okay to look for tins.

Add to that xmas presents from her are always interesting. One year dh got a bag full of half open cleaning supplies and was told he could probably make use of them and also a book on easy to make microwave meals for one
A few years year before he got a some smart price larger...

A family member has a father 'thing'

Her parents divorced when she was less than 10. Her mother remarried when daughter was 30+. Daughter got married maybe 2 years later.
But she sits on her stepfather's lap all the time, nuzzles his ear and is always kissing him. If you saw them together you would think he was her boyfriend.

Stepdad is very uncomfortable and mother just laughs.

Oh god, I'm cringing already. My family has always been "that weird family". My dad seems to think he lives in a musical and will burst into song at any moment. One time in tesco he started singing "look at the price of those blu-rays" in front of about 10 or 15 people. Any attempt to address why he's singing will be ignored. I had a grandmother who was a bit eccentric and insisted on reading the tea leaves of anyone who
entered her house (or our house if she was there). The only thing was that she only seemed to ever give anyone bad news.

My mum is the most embarrassing and I insane woman alive. I don't have space here to tell you about everything she's gotten up to in the past.

notenoughwine Is your grandmother Professor Trelawney in disguise?

Love the stocking/potato game - we're going to play that at Christmas

Pissing myself at all of these

Way too many families who are a bit too close though!

Not a family I know, but saw it on some documentary thing years ago. Family of 4 with two teenager kids. If anyone did a poo at home they had to have a shower right after. Like, a proper full shower after a poo. If they'd pooped while out somewhere they had a shower immediately on returning home. They all thought that was totally reasonable and normal thing to do. I was totally shocked at the time but after reading mumsnet for a few years I'm actually not so surprised anymore...