To wonder what are the most [shock] family habits you've ever encountered?

[Sapph1e]

Mine are: an ex years ago was one boy with two sisters and one night we got talking about what they called their genitalia when they were growing up. I was flabbergasted when he said "Oh, I had a 'cock' and my sisters had 'minges'"

However that was not as bad as the family BBQ (same family) where we were all sitting around a table having a lovely lunch; me, ex-bf, his parents, sisters, sisters' boyfriends and then ex-MIL casually mentioned that she hadn't woken up till 9am that morning.
"That's not true," says ex-FIL promptly, "I heard you having a shit at 5." did not cover it.

I highly recommend it. When DSS (9yo) is here he joins in :)

Flipping Hell TheLovey

Words escape me

So glad I cut my last meeting short (muttered something about a very important email I was expecting)

Thats just

Flipping Hell!

I am speechless at the fishnetted vadge. Just why.

This thread is great. DH and I have elaborate fantasies for our dogs... Our eldest dog wears tweeds, is teetotal and writes poison pen letters to people in our village. Our youngest dog likes One Direction, sparkly pink and drinks Lambrusco on Saturday nights.

We also encourage our very cuddly and loving DS (2.5) to hug inanimate objects and say bye bye to them when going because it makes us giggle. That's going to come back to haunt us somehow, isn't it?

I am crying with laughter at BAB.

Me and DH conga to the kitchen to get snacks

Nice to know we're not alone! Ours is more of a cack-handed waltz

Haroldplaystheharmonica

It's dave in our house!

My two DDs will drop to the ground if they see pictures of puppies or kittens. I have had to say to a couple of perplexed guests that 'it's OK, they've just fainted from cuteness.'

My husband and I make voices for the pets as well, we hissed at each other when we nag each other. My children have various nicknames, we do not call them the children but the skronks....nothing I can say can beat the picture of the vagina :-)

DP likes to talk loudly about my (obviously fictional!) drug/sex addiction when we are sat in cafes, but then I did shout "You could have told me you were still alive!!!" at him at a gig the other night like John Watson in Sherlock We also publicly kick each other up the bum or trip each other up.

Love love LOVE cat brooch, conga to to kitchen and of course The Cat and The Vag.

I missed it :(.

Pretty much everything pales into insignificance compared to that picture. Including my DH and I speaking for the dog. Who sounds remarkably like Alan Bennett.

My stepfather used to be in the kitchen cooking or whatever and would speak as if there were two people in there, like a wolf or something and there'd be shrieks and howls as he "smacked" the wolf, the kitchen door was shut...

My best friend as a child heard this and was actually very amused by it.

My stepfather also listened to 'Round the Horn' (?) with Julian and Sandy.... two womens voices voiced by men and would repeat what they said. sounds normal enough though.

I've also got family childhood friends, boy and girl same age as my brother and I (we were all about 7 and 9) one day they were round at our house and we started starting playing doctors and nurses. the little girl got hold of my brother's willy and made as if to use it like a lipstick (so it seemed at the time) - we were really shocked and nothing else happened.

In fact I know it's normal behaviour but have never been keen on doctors and nurses where it goes into sexual part playing... for kids and to be honest have run away from that (apart from kiss chase). I was also abused as a little girl aged 8 in primary school by a boy a year older (he was forceful and told me I'd "get in trouble if I didn't do as he said" - I had to go to the doctors and everything but felt very ashamed and left the school a year or few months afterwards but was only there a year anyway) - so the sexual stuff listed here doesn't sit comfortably with me!

I do wonder in the ones with sex is it incest or just fun and larks??

My cousin (who's a lot older than me) used to sing along very loudly to Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood while doing a kind of headbanging motion. It was mortifying, especially as she clearly had no idea what the song was about.

Nabootique my DParents and I once stayed on the Isle of Wight, and one day we were on a bus and went past the prison there. DFather commented loudly to DM 'Is it today you have to see your probation officer, Jennifer?'. He thought that was very funny.... until we got off and I reminded him that some people actually on that bus may have indeed be going going to visit their probation officer,s or were planning to visit family.

I missed the pussy pussy picture :(

I am regularly required to 'talk the baby' by my five year old. This involves me holding the ten week old in front of my face and talking for her in the voice of Fagin. I don't know why it's Fagin, it just happened.

DH calls his parents Mummy and Daddy. He's forty.

Super I think Julian and Sandy in Round the Horn were two gays speaking in that language gays used to use when homosexuality was illegal? I'll google it and post a link

polari

CornChips Ha! We do make comments if we walk past any member of law enforcement, or try to "hide" each other!

I missed the pussies!

I think there should be PMs for those interested. Now!

Haha at Nabootique's supposed addictions ;) my DH once got bored in the supermarket and announced "It's coming out like a brown rolling pin!" in one of his daft voices. I played along with "ooh, can't yiu wait" but lost it when, still in the voice, he said, "it's all right, I kicked it under that stand" as a woman further up the aisle froze in horror.

Nooooooooo I missed the cat and vag

Gutted!!!

Yes, Julian and Sandy were two very camp gay men - using the slightly weird sixties slang.

Spike Milligan did a woman's voice when he voiced Minnie Bannister in the Goon show.

DD and I talk to each other as Eccles and Bluebottle form the Goon Show...
DH does the Eric Morecambe thing of pretending to catch something in an empty paper bag and if you walk by him he'll act like you've goosed him.
We're a bit retro in our comedy here.
11 year old DD has got her best friend into Morecambe and Wise - so it must still be funny!

DH also does impromptu balloon modelling - he walks round with balloons and a balloon pump in his pocket.

I used to know a family where the mother was very posh and ran off with the shoe brush salesman. Because she'd always had servants she couldn't do housework and the men in the house obviously didn't see it as their job either. Their solution was to just put down more newspapers on the floor when it got dirty. The kitchen was like a veritable mountain range of 20 year old newspapers that undulated as you walked across it. You also detect the decade where they had puppies house training in there...

Failedspinster brilliant! Mine will say things like "I couldn't BELIEVE you last night! You're wearing me out, you fucking nympho!", much to the chagrin of little old ladies at neighbouring tables.

Nabootique Oh, and how my OH would love that to be true!

Laughing at how many of these say EXB or EXH. No wonder!

I'm gutted I missed the pussy pic.

Whenever anyone in our family makes an accidental 'ting' noise, like accidentally knocking your glass on your plate, or hitting something metallic, we all say 'Round one', like the bell in a boxing match. We do the wine thing as well, but it's more like a high pitch squeal than a wolf howl.

If anyone mentions anything to do with their ears, DH says, 'Pardon?'. No idea why.

Also, DH is a past master at making up words, puns and silly phrases. He'll ask for a Ha Gla (only half a glass), or plumb crumble will become plumble. The great thing is, even DS is doing it now. He's 6, and he's really good at it! No-one else would know what he's on about half the time. Not weird exactly, but I love all the family stuff you build together.