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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed when my clients are still in pjs when I turn up for work?

336 replies

missjenniferhoney · 14/12/2014 22:36

I'm a self employed domestic cleaner, have been for a number of years. I've recently taken on a few new clients (since Oct/Nov) and have been surprised to turn up to work at their homes to find them still in nightwear. It happened at 2 appointments last week, both at 9.30 in the morning. I turn up at the same time on the same day each week, so I'm not unexpected, and I always knock on the front door for them to let me in before using my own key as I think it is just polite. I honestly didn't know how to react, so just ignored it and got on with the cleaning after a quick 'Good morning, how are you?'

AIBU to wish they would get dressed before I arrive?

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 16/12/2014 17:27

My cleaner is off sick this week so I did it myself this morning, whilst wearing my pyjamas. Is that disrespectful?

LittleBearPad · 16/12/2014 17:33

Definitely Sauvignon Wink

JohnCusacksWife · 16/12/2014 17:39

What on earth happened to getting dressed when you get up? Isn't that what people normally do? The thought of still being in PJs later in the day is just bleurgh....like not brushing your hair or brushing your teeth all day!

SauvignonBlanche · 16/12/2014 17:50

I was sweating buckets by the time I'd finnished so I was much better off showering and getting dressed afterwards.
Getting all sweaty after my shower is much more 'bleurgh' in my book.

limitedperiodonly · 16/12/2014 17:53

JohnCusacksWife

There are so many variables. When do you get up? Do you brush and floss your teeth before or after breakfast? How long is your hair? If short, do you scrape it with your fingers or a comb? If long, do you brush it after taking it out of its plait or bun you've slept in or do you scrag it up artfully and leave it until later?

And that's without considering the silk and cashmere lounging pyjamas thing.

The options are myriad so I don't know how I get out of bed in the mornings.

JohnCusacksWife · 16/12/2014 17:53

Sauvignon, you obviously clean with more vigour than me!

merrymouse · 16/12/2014 18:00

And what about Boden pull-ons?

I quote:

"These easy cotton classics are brilliant for lazy mornings and lovely for loafing after dark."

And White Company have a whole category called 'lounge wear'.

"Super-soft joggers, T-Shirts and hoodies in the finest-quality cotton make up our luxurious loungewear collection for Christmas - perfect for winding down."

Now, perhaps the idea is that you are supposed to change out of your lingerie and into loungewear on rising, but a few goes round the tumble drier and I bet it all looks like pyjamas.

motherinferior · 16/12/2014 18:04

Ah, I'm not sure about the underwear. Certainly a crop top is OK, but underwiring noooooooooooooo - surely that detracts from the whole PJ comfort?

The White Company has a sale on. Just saying...

CupidStuntSurvivor · 16/12/2014 18:14

limited the day I have time to iron pyjamas, I very much doubt that's what I'll choose to do! Do people really iron pyjamas?? And I'm definitely not wearing a bra while I'm in them. 38Js mean there's definitely enough scaffolding in my bras to get extremely uncomfortable.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 16/12/2014 18:20

Weirdly, I was remembering a friend telling me that my then 3 month old ds was too old for a baby gro and knitted cardi combo, and I should " get him dressed" whereas to my mind a sleepsuit plus Blitz Chic cardigan is the perfect t outfit for a baby up to walking age. In fact I would no more dress a 3 month old in jeans than I would wear a onesie to the shops. Big person clothes for babies and baby gros for adults is the road we are one my friends. Oh yes.

m0therofdragons · 16/12/2014 18:24

Just popped back to discover mnetters iron pjs?! I barely iron my work clothes and cannot imagine a day will come when I feel the need to iron pjs! Life's far too short for that kind of crazy talk.... did you iron the muslin cloths used to mop up baby sick too (I've met people who did... different world to mine).

limitedperiodonly · 16/12/2014 18:54

CupidStuntSurvivor I love ironed things but I only iron clothes that I mean to go out in at the last minute because they get creased if stored.

But I hate wearing creased clothes. If my house was burning down though...

Pyjamas and bed linen can be done and folded. The feel and smell of lying on that and in that is wonderful.

I have a stack of them plus some washing up (I don't have a dishwasher) to do tomorrow. I'm also going to sweep and swab the kitchen floor all while watching the final episode of The Missing on iPlayer.

Really, I'm not as much of a clean and neat freak as that sounds Wink

And I do have a proper job too and am not a Stepford Housewife. I just like it.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 16/12/2014 19:19

Wow, you must really love ironing Grin. I don't iron anything. I only buy things that either don't crease or can be dried in such a way that creases fall out.

Believe it or not, despite this and the fact I wear pyjamas at home, I'm very well presented when I leave the house.

limitedperiodonly · 16/12/2014 19:29

I only buy things that either don't crease or can be dried in such a way that creases fall out

That's what you think.

Sazzle41 · 16/12/2014 19:38

You are their employee so the power dynamic here is they make the rules. If you can't hack that/are that judgemental, find new clients. If i knew my cleaner was slating my manner of dress to all and sundry they'd be out the door . And its not an 'appointment' : when you turn up, its your shift at your workplace. Appointment? Delusions of grandeur anyone?

There's nothing wrong with clean pj's for being at home. I have pj's for lounging and different pj's for bed. My mothers cleaner saw us all incoherent with grief and in our nightclothes for days on end when my father passed, she put the kettle on for us and stayed to talk after she'd finished. Somehow i cant imagine you doing that. I wonder why.

ByeByeButterfly · 16/12/2014 19:45

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable having someone I employed seeing me in my PJs or most people I'm not really close to really except midwives when I was heavily pregnant or with a few days/weeks old baby.

I'd have no problem with going to someone else's house if they were wearing whatever though. In fact I know someone who is a cleaner also who many years ago did complain as the man of the house just went around in boxer shorts when she was there and I think she's right on that count as that would feel a bit uncomfortable.

I also think if you're very elderly, pregnant or have a health condition sometimes it's not as easy as to jump into a pair of clothes in the morning.

So YABU to find it uncomfortable but YWBU to expect someone to get changed out of PJs for you, if that makes sense.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 16/12/2014 19:59

No no limited, that's what I know. That said, I live in an area where the fact that I don't do my shopping in a onesie makes me a classy bird Wink.

But steaming creases out on the bathroom is so much less arse ache than ironing.

cavkc · 16/12/2014 19:59

I have a cleaner who comes in 2 mornings a week at 9am, she lets herself in with her keys, then just shouts upstairs to say hello (my office is upstairs)

I would say 90% of the time I'm dressed but other times i might still be in my dressing gown! never thought anything of it really. It just sometimes suits my day better to get a but of work done first then get ready for the day.

I would actually be annoyed if I thought my cleaner objected to this, I am paying her to come into my home and clean it, she is not there on a social visit or to judge me or my family. My home my rules I'm afraid.

We had builders for 6 months who were here by 7.30 six days a week (I know unbelievable really) it was quite usual for us to meet in the kitchen putting the kettle on with me still in my dressing gown .

However I do feel uncomfortable with a cleaner coming in when I'm not working, not sure why, I just don't want to sit watching TV when someone else is working. So I am paying my cleaner in full for the Christmas break but have asked her not to come for 2 weeks.

limitedperiodonly · 16/12/2014 20:33

CupidStuntSurvivor about a mile and a bit from me there is a Waitrose where I go after finishing a long run. Those clothes don't need ironing.

It's noon on Sunday by the time I finish.

There are many 70-90-year-old ladies in there in full make up, furs, real jewellery - I mean big diamonds - and tightened plastic surgery under a black turban.

Think Shirley Bassey and you might be getting close.

Ohhelpohnoitsa · 16/12/2014 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BallsforEarings · 16/12/2014 21:35

I don't understand why some posters have said this self-employed cleaner is the homeowner's employee?

She cannot be an employee of theirs unless they are running payroll for her and withholding tax, Ni and benefits etc.

It is her business and the homeowner is one of her clients she is responsible for her own tax and for hiring and firing any help she needs to to clean their homes, setting her prices and her terms and conditions at the original agreement!

Also, of course it is not having 'delusions of grandeur' to work to appointment - how else would it work? I've never thought a mobile hairdresser to have delusions of grandeur because she refers to working by appointment so why a mobile cleaning service?

I'm very confused by these posts! They are obviously inaccurate but I'm not sure where some people get these ideas from? Who on earth would want to go to the trouble of employing a cleaner themselves when there are so many legitimate self-employed cleaners and services out there?

I have never heard of anyone actually employing a housecleaner and running payroll for her - they are all self employed and set their own terms which you can either agree to and hire or not, both parties are free to terminate this agreement at any time unless a contract is signed!

cavkc · 16/12/2014 21:49

FFS it's semantics regardless of what you call it !

My home My rules End of

merrymouse · 16/12/2014 21:52

Would you be happier if they said they hired a cleaner?

The point is that when you work in a domestic setting you can generally expect people to be doing domestic stuff and for some people that means wearing pyjamas.

slithytove · 16/12/2014 22:03

Surely it's blatantly obvious that when you are someone's client, different standards of dress are acceptable depending on location?

Id wear pjs at home to let builder, hairdresser or cleaner in
I'd wear comfy clothes to visit hairdresser or beautician
I'd maybe wear more revealing clothes in a taxi going out than I would to visit a solicitor or doctors office. I'd probably wear jeans or leggings for that which I wouldn't wear at home.

I wouldn't expect a taxi driver to tell me my top was too low and they were uncomfortable in their place of work, nor would I expect a cleaner to tell me my pjs were too informal.

BallsforEarings · 16/12/2014 22:07

I was mainly responding to Sazzle41 but it has been mentioned before.

My point is that when you hire a regular service like a cleaning service I think you BOTH have to be on the same page as is what is acceptable to BOTH parties during service.

Most good domestic cleaners are fully booked and running a waiting list and therefore the power balance is tipped the other way but that's irrelevant, both parties need to feel comfortable with this arrangement and respect EACH OTHERS' boundaries! Nobody wants a cleaner who is desperate for work and will put up with anything to keep their job, these kind will be the dregs no-one wants to hire, any good cleaner is always busy, if not ask why before you hire!

Btw I wouldn't personally care about the pj's wearing issue, but then it's not my issue, I think the OP should set her own terms based upon how SHE feels in a customer's home! If the customer then doesn't want to hire her then so be it - it's only happened with two of her clients so just move on if they don't 'fit' with her just use those spots for two other clients instead! Everyone's a winner!