Aibu to be getting fed up with NHS

[naty1]

Im pg and when making booking appt with mw i said can i make it sooner than 9wks (it was less than 6wks at the time) as i could see 12 weeks would fall over Xmas. Mw says dont worry theyre still open most of the time and they had no earlier booking appts.
So had booking this week and got NT scan date letter today.
For 14+1 :( :(
As its ivf im pretty certain of date but that doesnt mean their estimate of 14+1 always works for everyone as the baby could easily be a day at least bigger making it a big waste of time.
I see they are going to be busy over xmas but dont think its acceptable. Its over a month away so they must be able to plan their appointments and its not like im delayed from 12 weeks by 3 days to 12+3 but over2 weeks later.
Though i guess thinking about it they are probably short staffed from now till new year

As its the weekend i cant call or do anything but be upset, as i can see them having any appts to change to. They are likely to be even later. I wish we could be involved in choosing appt rather than - you are given it

I just feel the 'service' im getting from nhs has been quite poor.
(DC1 my nt scan magically became only a pointless dating (due to ivf) due to paperwork error though to their credit they squeezed a nt scan in later that week)

People talk about the NHSS though it's the Holy Grail and that it is the envy of the world, it's the envy because it's free...

If it was a privately run business it would be out of business!

And yes, I have had had extensive recent experience, badly run, chaotic and couldn't care less nurses in particular....

www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jun/17/nhs-health yet it is believed to be the best in the world!

A private scan is only a couple of hundred quid, compared with £10K that's a drop in the ocean surely?

You don't sound very excited, just cross and stressed, and oddly cold, TBH. "I would be having the dating scan anyway (which i dont need) no pt seeing baby again."

Are you OK?

Balloon has a point.

I can't believe all the fuss when you haven't even rang to try and change the appointment yet.

OP just ring them up on Monday morning to try to rearrange your scan explaining your concerns.

BumWad great minds think alike.

Thinking the same as balloon

Your anger (most people would be mildly peeved) is sky high and joy is rock bottom considering your position. Quite odd.

The thing is though you could go along at 12+3 like I did and your baby just won't move into a decent position so you don't get the scanning part. The blood test is still pretty accurate.

The NHS isn't perfect, but you sound a bit unreasonable.

no op yanbu it takes the absolute mick

i had miscarried twins 3 months before falling pg with dd2 (now 8 months) and i had been told by the hospital that managed my miscarriage, that, should i fall pg again i would be offered an earlier scan

and when i did then get pg, i was told i wouldn't and pretty much laughed at like how dare you even ask. so i paid £200 privately for a scan to make sure there was a HB etc at about 8 weeks gone

then my NHS "12 week" scan and Downs test etc were at something like 14+1 then it turned out i was way further ahead than they thought and due date ended up being brought forward by a week, so basically my "12 week" (LOL) scan was at 15+ weeks.

thankfully dd was fine and healthy but imagine if she hadnt have been

The OP is being U. How dare anyone criticise our envy of the world? Are you foreign, OP? Not everything can be exactly as you want it. You should just be grateful that it's there in the first place - whatever it delivers (in the way of service not babies).

Maybe she would love that child too much to put it through a lifetime of poor health, pain, crap social care and an early death and would prioritise that more than the money she's spent?

how can you reduce the life of a person with Downs Syndrome to those few harsh words?

Thats probably a consequence of ivf. Its too early to get excited (1/4 babies are mc by 12w). With existing conditions that is probably up to 50% chance for me. (As i say all more than stressful enough without adding to it)
It makes me angry that its making me stressed.
You dont become attached until at least 20w scan is ok. And i dont tell work or friends until then as its not like you can get pg again.
The stress of ttc so long doesnt exactly go away straight away.
Not feeling excited just urggh lots of hospital appt to worry about.
Its really not the same as your average happy optimistic pg person. And the pessimism is in line with anxiety about the NT scan or issues with the baby

But really that response quoted is frustration at a silly suggestion unfortunately not helpful as theyve not read thread or understand what the scan measures (they seem to think its a dating scan and would be the same as at a emergency baby check up, )
Maybe i should have put NT scan not dating in the title.

The NT scan is a specific check on measurement on babys neck - before the crown rump measures 8cm to 8.4 i think and bloods
I want the scan for a particular reason (not dating) though they will do that to use CRL for NT measurement
Interestingly they have also asked for info with egg collection date on it. So its possible they might use my ivf date. But if the baby is too large the nt measurement will be wrong.

I think i said private hospital offer nt combined in with harmony otherwise its reassurance only (looking at prices but i will call) harmony is 650 so not cheap. :(

Not sure if i said apparently the 16w bloods dont work well for ivf as come back high risk

I had a private scan (approx £160) for all 3 pregnancies - due to family history of exomphalos - it was a combined scan of blood test and NT measurement, in 3 different centres. They were all detailed scans with results shown as 1:xxxx.

You sound extremely high maintenance
If you'd like a checking in at convenient service then go privately
Many many people cannot get ivf treatment on nhs, if you have you are already very lucky. I congratulate you on your pregnancy but suggest you choose your battles starting now

1. If you are v worried about dates for tests escalate with gp or midwife
2. Or pay privately
3. Go with it

Fwiw the nhs provide a better 'free' service than many countries private eg USA or Ireland
If your child does need any support you will get assistance from birth without frantically panicking if you have insurance or can afford it

Make your decision and get on with it
And grow up

OP not sure who told you that the 16 week bloods aren't suitable for IVF pregnancies - they are. The lab just take into consideration the fact it is an IVF pregnancy when they calculate your risk.

I don't understand your attitude either nor your NHS bashing. You don't sound OK at all to be honest. I hope you are seeking some help.

herald ive reported your post as its incredibly offensive.
Foreign????
Are you?
Just because i dont consider my treatment world leading im obviously foreign and somehow dont deserve treatment
Would it then be ok to get poor treatment.
Shall i be just as rude? Do you work for the nhs? Dont bother to answer, i dont care as even if you did it may not cause your opinions.

Actually your post sounds ironic?
Do my concerns become more valued if ive lived/worked here 80yrs?
I didnt realise that as im british i should be getting better service so no need to complain darn it mw mustn't have recorded it right.!

As you can see from the thread just because you may have had outstanding treatment doesnt mean everyone has. Now i know - must never criticise nhs they are right, even when wrong about anything. I wish i had known it would have saved a lot of stress.
In fact i actually work from the assumption they are wrong unless proven correct.

Hazey the comment is quite accurate though sadly. But its not everything they are which makes the whole need for screening sad and choices, difficult. Having said that when most people are pro abortion choice then it has to include abnormalities as that is somewhat the most valid reason even going right up to birth.
How traumatic would that be if only found in the last few weeks, which is why they offer it so early.

Great comments about the NHS being wrong until proven otherwise.

I work for the NHS.

I'm surprised you are trusting the NHS with your care at all, given your attitude. I'm unclear whether you had this IVF on the NHS (on balance, it sounds as though you did).

If so, we obviously get things right sometimes.

I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy and I'm sorry you're stressed, but you really do need to grow up.

I don't know why you're receiving such a kicking on this thread naty but no YANBU. Your scan is going to be near the cutoff for doing a nuchal, and that's worrying because the only way you can know it's not too late is... to do the scan. By which time if it's too late it's too late.

If I were you I would go private (after calling to see if it can be set straight) but I know how you feel, I had recurrent miscarriage and had a lot of crap treatment from the NHS (as well as some good - but mostly crap), including spending a hell of time on the phone chasing up lost referrals and getting nowhere. I used to wonder if I was going nuts - it made it really difficult to deal with people e.g. in my job because I spent so much time going through this demoralising Kafkaesque system talking to people and just not getting anything back that made any sense. It really is crap and it wouldn't have to be like that, there are plenty of countries (e.g. Switzerland, where I now live - we arrived last week and my kid had a bad cough, we weren't registered with a GP so went straight to hospital, saw a paediatrician, sats done and chest sounded in less time than it took us to give our contact details) where there is a good healthcare system without leaving anyone out in the cold like in the US. Sure it costs more but I would be happy enough to pay more, including for people who cant afford to, and I do get fed up of being told to be grateful for the NHS. Why should I be grateful to a system that takes my money off me with no option and then delivers me an at best mediocre standard of healthcare? It's not a bloody charity, I wish people would remember that.

Perhaps because this can likely all be sorted with a phone call tomorrow morning without the need for all the drama. Absolutely no one in the NHS knows that the OP is so upset about the date of her scan at this time.

littlebear that doesn't explain why people have questioned her on whether she paid for her own IVF, questioned her reasons for wanting a nuchal scan if she had IVF, wanting a perfect child, or stamping her feet. She got an appointment. It doesn't work. She's on mumsnet letting off steam, she's not walked into the antenatal clinic with a Molotov cocktail.

Sleep not sure why you think its so hard to get nhs ivf?
Exclusions
1-3 rounds
Bmi under 30
Non smoker
Together a set amount of time
Under 40 (depending on area)
First child for either person
Ttc 2-3 years depending on issues

So not that excluding a lot of people really. Its mostly sensible. Waiting lists possible though

It would be expensive nhs treatment for 10k.

I honestly think if you think this is bashing youve not talked to many people about nhs performance as this is very mild.

Ok so im high maintenance - see how you you feel after 5 years of treatment. Or better still check out the ttc boards or any of the health boards.

I completely see if this was first baby, no previous issues my reaction would be over the top.

Though being diagnosed online as depressed or whatever it is some people are saying is actually really funny. Wondering if people getting annoyed at say banks, call centers when they get stuff wrong are told the same things - i mean they never get anything wrong

Just fed up initially and frustrated its the weekend so cant sort out (as it may well be easily).

I dont accept the grow up comment though. Its childish name calling.

It probably sounds worse as i have been trying to explain to people the importance of it being done at the right time.

Everyones experiences will be different but youre right complaining here wont help.