AIBU to wonder what fun there is in tormenting people with disabilities?

[TillHammerZeit]

What pleasure can anyone get out of smashing a bus up that is used by people with learning disabilities,while they're enjoying their Christmas party?

What joy can anyone get in throwing litter and rocks at someone with a learning disability,because they dared to venture into their own garden?

Two events that have happened recently with groups I volunteer with. And yes the police have been notified,but I doubt much will be done about it,and it's nothing new.

Possibly the wrong place to post it,but I need to vent,and if anyone can understand why people do these things,please let me know.because it's beyond my understanding,and most people's I imagine.

sadly, no. Wish I had.

YANBU and as the mother of a disabled DS this really worries me especially as DS gets older and his disabilities more apparent.

We really get to see some people at their worst. One recent incident: we attended an event at a local centre for special needs young people….on coming out we found that somebody had padlocked the car park gates so we couldn't get out. Just for fun. Some of the young people had life threatening conditions, needed to get home for medication etc, it was over an hour before we got out.

This is awful. Just awful. I'm a bit speechless TBH.

It's common. In schools, in communities, online, to random strangers on the street.
They do it for a number of reasons, the most common being the entertainment they and their friends derive from it.
The reason that some people don't know how common it is is probably because you haven't got any links with an individual with a disability of any sort, and it doesn't affect you or impact on you in any way. It's not a problem for you, so you don't see it, hear it or make a stand about it.
For those of us that do, it's a major problem, and many fear for their children and the world that they will have to live in and survive.

My colleagues think "the undateables" is a comedy programme

DustInTheWind that is exactly it, it has to be experienced at first hand to be believed. I am really scared for my DS future as he will always be vulnerable and dependent on others & I won't always be around to protect him, it makes me ill to think of anyone being unkind to him.

I know what you mean. Living.
The boy in Yorkshire who was taunted and set alight on his 18th birthday by peers he thought were friends really got me.
I worry when DS goes to parties, but he has a few decent friends and has built up a lot of life skills now he's 20.

The whole perception needs to be challenged, whilst individual incidents are seen to be just that, little will be done apart from hand-wringing after the event, like the dreadful happenings upthread. IF there was a central register i.e. blog maybe linked to FB etc. where people could report what was happening, with camera footage, screenshots of nasty comments etc. the scale of the problem would be more apparent and eventually attitudes would change.

Bullying is a vile thing. Bullies get away with it in society because mostly each individual incident can be seen by the authorities to be quite trivial, e.g. name-calling or anti social jeering. What gets missed is the insidious drip drip drip of minor incidents day after day or by certain people in certain situations time after time directed at the most vulnerable members of society who cannot defend themselves. If this bullying is logged over time, a better picture of the vileness of it emerges and it's seen for what it is, intimidation and discrimination.

I don't really care about the motivation of such people. They are beneath contempt anyway so don't care what happens to them, where/how they are punished, as long as they are prevented from repeating their actions or spreading their wickedness around.

People don't throw rocks at my DD..yet..but I definitely see a slight edge of contempt for her in a lot of people's faces now she is older and less cute. Depressing

I've talked about this on here before but its happened to one of my children he was under 8 at the time,he now has a huge scar across his head from where the rock hit and split it open. He's now 16 so it was a long time ago

DH and I are both disabled. DH is visibly disabled (walks with white cane) and I am not. When I first met him I reported jeers such as "benefits faker", "fucking sp*z" to police as hate crime and police did jack shit. So now I take the law into my own hands when it happens.

As a disabled parent with disabled children, I really feel for the people you are with, it must have been very difficult and upsetting for them.

The 'fun' comes from the systemic ableism within society that repeatedly and continuously sends out messages that dehumanizes disabled people as less human, as burdens, as drains on society, as bringing any violence or hate or poverty upon ourselves, less worthy of life, peace, and happiness. Carer abuse is sky high but very overlooked -- people are more likely to sympathize with our abusive carers and murderers than us (see the comments on the articles discussing it). The 'fun' is shown in the vast majority of the media that shows disabled people as 'inspiration' when "good" and something to pity, mock, or scorn when "bad". Everything feeds into this ableism and the systems need rebuilt for it to change...

I am sometimes able to walk with a stick rather than my wheelchair but have a bad limp and walk awkardly. Last week I saw a group of teenagers walking behind me mimicking me. I had my DD with me who has SN and couldn't risk a scene upsetting her, so didn't say anything to them. It was hurtful and it's making me cry a bit typing this as I don't want my DC to be teased because I can't walk properly. I was thinking about just using my wheelchair when I'm with my DC but then don't want to run the risk of not getting on public transport if there's people there with pushchairs. I don't know what the answer is.

Well, one of the things that meant DS wasn't bullied was his habit of hitting the individual who taunted him. So there was no repetition by the same individual. He doesn't do that any more, but he is large and can appear very scary, so the taunting little weasels look for an easier mark.

One of the other problems is that so many naice ladies can't believe that bullying, mocking and making life hard for those with disabilities isn't the preserve of nasty oiks from rough areas.
If you teach your teenagers to have a sense of empathy, and to understand discrimination and object to it, then you will be doing something useful. Because a lot of the vileness, exclusion and othering comes from peers.
'Surely not my darling Jemimah-Mayblossom Sweetpea? '
Yes, her and her mates. Tormenting and sniggering and bullying. Likewise her brother.

Reading this thread has made me feel so sad, the stories that some of you have posted are appalling. A colleague and I did once have to report another colleague of ours who said he 'wouldn't eat something made by a mental' this was someone who worked in MH services, thankfully he was dismissed. It's easy to assume that this kind of awful behaviour is the preserve of mindless, uneducated thugs but that's not always the case and whilst professionals may not be out there hurling stones some of them are providing the services which are supposed to help those they hold in contempt.

Not nice reading this my four year old D's has a diagnosis of autism. And learning difficulties I am finding that I am increasingly spending more and more time with other families who have kids with disabilities as there is no judging yesterday we went to a charity event at the winter wonderland theme park in Manchester it was specifically for children with disabilities and their families what was great was all the kids could go.on the rides and play and nobody batted an eye if the kids didnt behave as kids are supposed to.behave everybody had fun.

Because some people are arseholes. Because they were born in to a family of arseholes, who demonstrated exactly how to be an arsehole, and they become friends with other arseholes who encourage them to be even bigger arseholes.

That's about all there is to it really.

This is just horrendous. There are no words.

This world is filled with mostly lovely people, but also has arsholes in it too. It is worrying as dd7 has ASD.

This has made me really sad.

I've experienced the whole "snide looks" and "Indiscrete whispers" and outright bloody staring when with additional needs groups but this is a whole new level. I am so so sorry OP

I know a school bus was attacked recently leaving children home from a special school. The window was broken and a child narrowly missed being seriously hurt.

:(

I fear my temper, this is wy DS and I hardly go out.

no good to him if in in prison, am i?

Some people are arseholes. Only less useful.

You're right Aeroflotgirl, among the lovely people there are some scumbags…..a very small minority but enough of them to present a real threat to the vulnerable. The (only) positive thing is, in our position we get to see what people are really like.

Yes I recognise the staring, whispering and both veiled & open contempt when out & about with DS. We had to pull him out of the Scouts group he attended because some parents complained that his wheelchair was a danger to their DC….despite the fact we were paying for a one to one carer to accompany him. We would meet some of the other families about town and DS would recognise them and say hallo, but they would completely and very deliberately blank him.