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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take away 16m olds dummy?

26 replies

Moxiechick · 10/12/2014 19:39

My dd is 16 months old and has had a dummy since about 2 weeks old. Recently she's been losing/throwing/hiding them all and as she is fussy with which ones she has it's becoming very expensive at £5 for a pack of 2. Last week I bought 3 packs that have vanished.
So this week I decided to take it away completely. Originally I wanted to wait till she could understand that we were giving it to the fairies or Santa. As I'm a single mum I can't afford to keep buying them. I tried dummy clips but she managed to unclip them and also I didn't want to encourage her having it when she didn't need it.
It's night 3 and she's been crying for 30 minutes already and it's killing me to listen to her Sad
Should I keep it up? Will it get better? Or should I give in and wait with the extra cost? I have one hidden in my room.
Please no comments about how I shouldn't have given it to begin with, I already realise this but as someone in an ea relationship with no support and after a traumatic birth with little recovery time it was a godsend.
Helpful advice appreciated greatly!

OP posts:
WiggleGinger · 10/12/2014 19:42

You are doing so well by yourself well done
My only advice is you have started so you need to see it through otherwise all the crying / upset was for nothing.
Its an expensive habit that you can do without so stuck to your guns.

Themindboggles2014 · 10/12/2014 19:43

Stick it out! It's hard but will be worth it. No judgement regarding your choice here, dummies can be a god send. Stay strong op Flowers

girliefriend · 10/12/2014 19:44

Hi I did exactly the same for more or less the same reasons when my dd was 16mos!! And I am also a single mum Smile

I had already weaned her off it for daytime naps though so not entirely cold turkey, it took a few nights off moaning but I am glad I did it then as she was young enough to accept it rather than know I could get her another one iyswim?

cogitosum · 10/12/2014 19:44

I'm waiting til ds is more aware (he's also 16 months) so can use dummy fairy or similar

We use avent ones which are £5 a pack pretty much everywhere apart from Asda where they're 2 packs for £6 and mother care price match!

Steben · 10/12/2014 19:45

Stick it out - now you have started. Can you maybe get her an special treat for doing so well tomorrow (toy she cAn take to bed maybe). And please don't beat yourself up about using dummies!

Evergreenredandblue · 10/12/2014 19:49

Sorry, but I've read the sucking reflex is very strong for the first two years especially, and it aids neurological development.

Personally, I think 16m is too young to take away comforters, especially cold turkey. Surely you can find similar dummies that are less expensive?

Starlightbright1 · 10/12/2014 19:51

You are on day 3 stick it out.

There is nothing wrong with dummies infact some research talks of benefits. The good thing about this age is they really do forget after a few days it is learning a new way to getting to sleep

Original poster
Moxiechick · 10/12/2014 20:02

Thank you, you've all made me feel much better!
She's asleep after 45 mins rather than an hour or an hour and a half previous nights so there's progress!
Evergreen, I've tried others and she looks at them like I'm trying to trick her!

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 10/12/2014 20:07

My son hides his dummy behind the radiators. I found three behind his bedroom radiator after wondering what on earth he was doing with them.

Best to make sure they're all gone if you're sticking with it.

TheIronGnome · 10/12/2014 20:08

Keep going!! It tends to be 3 nights to break a habit so you never know, tomorrow may be fine! It'll certainly get easier (and cheaper) for you from now on

MiaowTheCat · 10/12/2014 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

orangeyellowgreen · 10/12/2014 20:13

Stick it out. Every habit becomes harder to break the longer it's gone on. Children of 3 or 7 or 12 who still suck for comfort find it much harder to stop than babies do.

Purplepoodle · 10/12/2014 21:06

Stick it out now you have started as you have to do it eventually anyway and sooner the better - I really need to take my 20month olds but iv got him down to cot only as he too was throwing them away during the day, need to take the next brave step

Starlightbright1 · 10/12/2014 21:16

You are seeing the results already.
The worst really is over..Flowers

SurfsUp1 · 10/12/2014 21:18

These things always feel like such mountains to climb when you set out. The view from the top always makes you feel like you wonder what all the fuss was about. It will only take a few days - just hang in there!

Bulbasaur · 10/12/2014 21:21

I gave DD a dummy. She would only use certain ones. Then she just lost interest in them.

Don't feel bad OP, I've created my own little pickle. DD only falls asleep with a bottle. That's going to be a fun habit to break once she's off formula in a few months.

LegoLady95 · 10/12/2014 23:04

If you decide to keep the dummy for now, try sewing a couple to a soft teddy, on the hands, feet or ears and just keep for bedtime. Cheaper than buying the sleepytot teddy with velcro but same effect. LO can find it in the cot and much harder to lose. Just pop it in the washing machine every week.

FoulsomeAndMaggotwise · 11/12/2014 00:25

Tough it out! My DS is 16 months and 2 months ago we went cold turkey. It took 8 days (sorry) but I'm so glad we stuck to it. He sleeps much better without one and isn't in the easy bothered if he sees another baby's dummy lying around.

My mum who works with SALT told me between 12 and 18 months is the best time to stop the dummy as that's when language starts to kick off. DS was already "backing" (making his noises from the back if his mouth rather than the whole mouth) despite only having it for sleep, and that had me worried.

Just make sure she has other comforts and isn't left to cry on her own for too long, would be my advice. Good luck!

NobodyLivesHere · 11/12/2014 03:29

Get rid, you've done the hardest part. I ditched them with my three at around 9-11 months. A few days and they'd forgotten all about them.

moxon · 11/12/2014 05:36

DC 8.5mnths only falls asleep on the boob or in the car. Wakes up when you attempt to move the mite to the cot. And just chews on dummies for fun. Hmm Wish I could replace my nipple with a dummy sometimes. not helping

shakemysilliesout · 11/12/2014 08:04

Stick it out. U can do this.

fluffyraggies · 11/12/2014 08:42

Was it just at night she was having them OP? Or all day too? Is she loosing them in bed, or is she loosing them out and about during the day?

I allow dummies during the day until DC is standing/walking, and then phase them out during the day. I still allow them for naps and at night though, for comfort. Then, yes, once they are old enough (2 and a half, 3ish?) i do the 'you're a big girl now, lets loose the dummy' thing and there's usually no drama.

Sorry to go against the grain.

fluffyraggies · 11/12/2014 08:48

I should add; my DDs 1 and 2 had no particular interest in dummies, but both DDs 3 and 4 were VERY 'sucky' babies, took a lot of comfort from them and needed veeeery slow withdrawal! :)

A tip to avoid using the dummy clips for night time - loop a short bit of ribbon through a button hole in the jim-jams and tie the dummy on to that. Child cant get it off and loose it.

Original poster
Moxiechick · 11/12/2014 15:50

Hey fluffies,
I had weaned her off them In the day mostly, just carried them for just in case times. She'll happily fall asleep in her pram without a dummy.
She would lose them on the occasions I gave them without and when in bed.
Really hoping to stick to it, keep thinking this time next week it'll all be ok! Fingers crossed!

OP posts:
Original poster
Moxiechick · 12/12/2014 19:54

Thanks again for everyone's support. Just a little update... Last night we had only 10 mins of crying before bed! Grin

OP posts:
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