to want to watch the Nativity play without toddlers screaming.

[windchime]

Another Christmas, another Nativity play, and another hour of sitting in the school hall listening to the screams and shouts of strangers' toddlers. Before the play started, the Head asked nicely if upset babies and toddlers could be taken outside because the children and staff had worked so hard on the play. But, of course, the play was totally ruined for everyone because of a few inconsiderate, ignorant and selfish parents NOT taking their child outside when they started (and continued) playing up. The school was filming it to sell as a dvd. Good luck with that.

my 4 year old's school bans younger children. This makes it difficult, I don't have family and any friends also have children in the school.

Apparently I'm the only one who complains though -most of the others have their entire family living locally, and the only one with similar problems doesn't have such good English.

Trips requiring an adult are out. (there was only one other little girl left behind with him last time). The sessions where they show parents how to support their children's learning are out. No smaller kids allowed.

Parents with younger babies/toddlers should OF COURSE remove them if they become noisy. I would, without hesitation. I do object though that my little boy thinks (because he said so for the last one, where all the reception children were dancing scarecrows) that I don't want to watch him in his shows and things.

My toddler would be quiet as long as I kept the snacks coming and gave him a notepad and pen to draw with. He was fine 6 months ago at the meeting about his big brother starting school, with all the same parents there for that! I accept that not all are like that, though.

I really do wish the school would realise that not everyone is fortunate enough to have spare adults around to help out, especially at short notice

(my partner has been unable to book time off for several things as he needs 2 weeks notice for it, not a couple of days... I'm lucky that he has managed to swap a day off so I do get to go tomorrow after all to see my nervous, quiet child struggle to cope in front of everyone else's parents. My son's father won't attend, nor will he watch the little one so I can for any of these things.)

My brother's school runs a creche for these events, it works well. I did suggest it to the school my son attends, but no. (I'd even offer to go in and help with it for things my kid isn't involved in!)

Instead of blaming the school Ebwy you should be blaming the minority of rude, selfish parents who allow their children to ruin school plays for everyone and have caused the school to have to ban younger children from attending.

'Trips requiring an adult are out.'
The school should not be running trips in school time which require a parent to be in attendance.I would speak to them about that.

The thing is though Bakeoffcakes, there's a continuum of noise/bother with toddlers isn't there? At the one end they are totally silent and still (tbh mine are only ever like this when sleeping), at the other they are screaming the place down. I think it would be selfish not to remove a screaming toddler but am happy to tolerate a certain level of background noise.

I like the "tap on the shoulder" method to get them out, tbh. That would work for everyone.

TooHasty I did, the reply said
"I do understand how you feel, but unfortunately this is a trip that is arranged by family learning and they state that each child must be accompanied by a family member. Normally, school trips do not have this stipulation and we can have more children to adults. I understand how you and[my son] feel, but please be reassured that he will access all school run trips and events. "

My reply was basically "then since it is excluding two children, inclusion should mean that you don't allow the trip to run in school time" (in nicer words) to which I got no reply.

insult to injury, that last trip was to a place he'd been taken by the school's nursery the year before with a far lower ratio of adults to children than 1:1!

I agree with falling over cliffs. Our school does more than one show which means parents will often go separate or parents have swapped kids..I agree with falling it is the selfish parents who don't remove their little ones who have spolit it.

I attend termly school meetings but have a little girl who does not like the head of infants and will heckle her every time she talks so we only usually last till she starts talking. I can't hear and it is not fair on the other parents who are attending

YANBU.

I always managed to keep my younger DC quiet - as did most other people and when we couldn't we take them out - most has sense to sit where they could get out easily. Not all DC were completely quiet but within acceptable limits - ie they didn't distract from performance.

Few years ago - this stopped - and several performances ( assemblies with parental audience and several of the naivety plays - big school multiple plays put on for different years ) were ruining by young DC screaming or being distracting despite being asked to take them out if they got loud prior to performance.

So the school asked for under 5 not to be brought ( in some case there were multiple adults and with the plays multiple performances so some of the people had options of not bringing younger DC) but they also put on a crèche for parents who had no choice but to bring them.

So you'd think problem solved - right. This year one set of parents had a disrupted toddler in the hall but they took out and dropped in crèche - so kind of acceptable.

Same row - 2 parents - one stood up at side. Entire time screamed, got up wondered about - around and between parents - eat loudly - set mobile off - in and out very loudly twice as wanted loo -disrupting entire row and all people standing at back and sides. Stood on chair - fell off. Entire performance played up - parents thought it was cute - seemed oblivious to others unhappiness and the gentle suggestions of leaving.

Had a load of parents complain because children weren't allowed to the nativity last week.

I'm sorry, I know people have kids and babies but I have been to soooo many plays etc where people kids screamed and moaned all the way through it and it was ruined.

It's not fair to expect 6 year olds to remember all the lines they had learnt and not be put off by screaming kids in the audience.

2 of the parents i know of who are going to complain have bought their toddlers to things before that children weren't allowed to and they let them scream and run around all the way through!

Yes I know it's not fair if they need a baby sitter blah blah but sorry - the kids who have worked hard not to have their lines screamed over are the priority.

YANBU. I have an 8yo and a 3yo. DD1's school had 3 performances. Two evenings and an afternoon. DD2 stayed home with DH and I went to both evening ones as the school is too far to drop and run and come back. Both evenings the same siblings were the noisy ones with added toddlers on the 2nd evening running up and down the aisle playing on a parent's iPhone. However I don't think it's just noisy children at fault. I know it is winter and the season for coughs and colds, but good grief if you have a persistent and noisy cough, for the love of God, go out and do it.

Just back from our primary nativity where they open up a p1 room for a Crèche parents of p4-p7(not in junior nativity) look after the toddlers with some willing p7 girls as helpers.

It's brilliant works really well !

I dropped some nice buns in with my toddler to say thankyou and fully intend to return the favour once mine are older :)

Just what the world needs. A passive aggressive way of saying "you ruined it for everyone". What a seriously twattish thing to do
Are you serious, Chippy, or just thick? The seriously twattish thing was allowing the toddler's antics to drown out / overshadow the children on stage.

It's depressing how many deluded fools have the same outlook on threads like these.
My toddler is so adorable she must surely be the star of the show; never mind the fact that she's not even actually in it. Even the performers mums will surely understand that, they can't fail to be mesmerised by her charms
I think I must have encountered most of you through the years. Unfortunately.

I imagine a lot of them are the same mothers who think everyone in the restaurant loves watching their toddler tearing shrieking around the place and banging into people's chairs while they're trying to eat their meal.

Yes one of my pet hates. The school show where you can't hear a word of what's being said or follow the story, despite microphones being used. I've sat through many a one of those. When ours are in church you can't see anything either. DH and I draw sticks to see who's the lucky one who gets to attend. I should add mine are very shy and I don't think have ever been given a line to say. They are usually trees or stars.

I wonder if you're more likely to not give a shit if your toddler disrupts the proceedings if your child is a tree at the back?

Some schools do child friendly performances and adult ones in the evenings. Perfect.

For the evening performance at our school all under school age children are banned. They are allowed to the day time performance although child care is laid on by kindly teaching staff.

YANBU, I sat through a 2 hour Christmas concert today with a toddler sat next to me who didn't shut up through the whole thing and the mum didn't make a single attempt to get him to stop.

I have 2 DC with a 5 year age gap so I've done plays/assemblies/school masses etc with a young child, I have taken stuff to amuse DD and taken her out when necessary because that's what people should do

This has all got a bit tribal with everyone assuming that those of us who said "no, it's ok, it doesn't really bother me" are the inconsiderate parents of screaming kids. Not in this case - both my kids are on stage and have been on stage for the past three years. When DS was too young to be in the school he came with me to watch his older sister but he's not a shrieker and was quiet as a mouse. I would have taken him out if he hadn't been.

But if other parents don't take out their children I am not really upset by it. I just think everybody is probably doing their best, trying to balance competing priorities. I can imagine some parents being reluctant to leave with screaming toddler in case performing child saw them leave and had a meltdown on stage as a result. Honestly I feel it's just part of the Christmas season in all its chaotic glory.

I would have taken him out if he hadn't been

Therein lies the rub. You would have taken him out (presumably so he didn't spoil it for others?), I would have taken mine out (for the same reason), many others on here would have too (ditto)

However there are parents who wouldn't - it wouldn't even cross their mind that their shrieking, tantrumming, running around toddler might be disturbing others, or, if it did occur to them, they wouldn't give a flying fuck.

A general low level background noise is part of the 'chaotic glory' and no-one (generally) minds - but that's not what this is about. This thread's about the inconsiderate parent who makes no move to quieten, distract or remove their toddler whose antics are disrupting the whole proceedings and drowning out the children on stage who have practised hard for the event and are preventing their families from hearing them.

OK well maybe I've never experienced a nativity play that's been ruined to this extent (although this xmas will be numbers 5 and 6 that I have enjoyed sat through)

Obviously not!

It annoys me too ( maybe because I no longer have toddlers or screaming babies ). Our school does their play over 2 days, 1 day time ( for parents with babies and toddlers ) and 2 evenings.

I'm very annoyed this year as I could not get any tickets for the evening I wanted so have to go to the one where there will be screaming children.

Completely agree sirchen - we can't use the argument that we would all take our kids out if they are noisy - most people would.

But we all know those parents that are complete fucking morons who it wouldn't cross their mine to do that.

I went to a family wedding a year before my own. A family friend who seems to want to get involved in everything thought it was 'cute' her 4 year old ran down the aisle screaming and rolling over whilst the bride was walking down it!!!

I also went to a friends wedding where the sister in law let her toddler SCREAM for the first 10 minutes until the organiser walked over and asked her to take him out!!!!

I had a crèche at my wedding after seeing all this. It was awesome and quiet and the best money I spent. Parents loved it as there was no worry and the kids had an awesome time.

Some people are just fucking stupid and seem to think everyone should just put up with it.

our school had a matinee/rehearsal that toddlers were allowed to come to and the local preschools were invited to .The 2 evening performances were toddler and baby free.