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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not give a f*** if you are sending Christmas cards or not this year

42 replies

lemisscared · 09/12/2014 21:58

And be tempted to put on my Facebook that im not sending any cards because i never do and wont be donating to charity either!!

A few of my fb friends have done this "we are not sending cards but are donating to x charity instead"

Err well done then - you are a wonderfully right on , public spirited good egg , look at you giving money to charity. ....whoop de do!!

You could just give the money to charity without bragging about it or buy cards from the red cross etc.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 09/12/2014 22:29

Ooooh so agree with you.

mirren3 · 09/12/2014 22:35

I always send cards, this year I unexpectedly lost my husband and have decided to send money to the heart foundation. I posted on facebook saying it was in memory of my husband and one of his oldest friends who also sadly passed away this year.
I posted so that I don't have to explain to everyone why they won't get a card, as it is going to be hard enough for me and my children without that.
To be honest I don't give a f* what you think either.

itsmeitscathy · 09/12/2014 22:36

It's not bragging - in lieu of cards I will donate to charity. I'm putting one somewhere prominent to the whole office so as not to offend those who do send them to me.

Bowlersarm · 09/12/2014 22:36

Oh don't be so flipping grouchy. It's Christmas. Live and let live.

AlpacaYourThings · 09/12/2014 22:39

Sorry to hear about your DH mirren Flowers

carlywurly · 09/12/2014 22:39

I was thinking of doing just this - it's not about showing off though, more reaching a wide audience and making sure nobody's offended as I've never done it before.

I'd far rather the local children's hospice benefitted from my money than the Royal Mail tbh.

So yabu Smile

Samcro · 09/12/2014 22:41

yanbu
and I do wonder how many people actually do it.
(on fb not here)

Original poster
lemisscared · 09/12/2014 22:42

Oh mirren i am so very sorry to hear about your dh :( i do hope i haven't upset you.

I am grouchy - ignore me.

OP posts:
needsomeideas · 09/12/2014 22:43

I did this, put up a post saying I'd donated to x charity as we weren't sending Xmas cards. More so people wouldn't wonder where their card was! Never even considered some people might see it as braggingConfused

Sussexbelle73 · 09/12/2014 22:47

YA a bit U- I lost someone close to me a couple of years ago too very suddenly to a brain tumor so that xmas I gave to headway the brain injury charity. I did it partly because I didnt have the emotional energy to write a load of cards and it was easier/ a relief to say that on facebook! It certainly wasnt bragging - but I get the general gist of your post!

Sussexbelle73 · 09/12/2014 22:49

And ?? mirren3 xx

M00nUnit · 09/12/2014 22:49

I don't see it as bragging either. It's a good idea to donate to charity instead of sending cards and by mentioning it on Facebook you might spur others on to do the same, thereby raising even more money for charity.

So sorry to hear about your husband mirren.

Sussexbelle73 · 09/12/2014 22:50

That was meant to be Flowers mirren3 xx

grumpasaur · 09/12/2014 22:53

I actually think it's a nice idea. In totall this year, I have spent approximately £40 JUST on buying cards and sending them (many to Canada so a bit expensive). People will glance at them and forget.

£40 to a well considered charity could do a lot more good!

But- I do get your point. There is a bit too much "look at me doing things for charity" at the moment, on the back of that ALS thing.

furcoatbigknickers · 09/12/2014 22:53

Agreed. Donate to charity and zip it.

Bowlersarm · 09/12/2014 22:56

I like getting Christmas cards , I'm planning to save all the cards we get this year to put up next year as more and more people seem to be saying 'no card this year, money to charity'

AliceLidlDonkey · 09/12/2014 23:02

My friend of Facebook has just shared this Grin

I think it's alright to post on Facebook or suchlike and tell people what you are doing. Most people won't notice or care if they got a card from us but there are a couple of people who would get the hump about it and probably still be muttering about us this time next year. My uncle is a total misery for things like this, if he feels slighted he doesn't let it go. A post on Facebook saying we were donating to charity would appease him before he complained to my mother about being forgotten (I'm thirty-nine and yes he would still bring my mother into it Grin ).

to not give a f*** if you are sending Christmas cards or not this year
OrangeOwl · 09/12/2014 23:07

I get the bit about people thinking it might be bragging, but I see it from a different point of view now. I lost my Mum this year and had to put my Dad in a care home. I did write all my cards, over 60 posted and I found it a bit hard to do, not just emotionally but from a time point of view as have had so many other things to do, house sale etc.

Since then a number of people have said they are giving their card money to charity and I wish I had done this instead. I think we will see more of this too as people communicate more on social media and postage becomes so expensive. It's a tricky one as some people like to receive a card.

Fluffyears · 09/12/2014 23:09

I put it up on my page so people know they will not be getting a card. giving to chairti is more Christmassy anyway if you think about the Christian message! I don't give a shit if you think it's bragging if it stops people thinking I'm rude.

PurpleSwift · 09/12/2014 23:11

I don't think Yabu.

I think for whatever reason you're not sending cards you're probably over thinking it if you worry that someone will seriously care and want to know why they didn't receive one.

RedSoloCup · 09/12/2014 23:11

See I would love to do this (donate instead of send cards) but most of the people we send cards to are old and family and don't have fb and WOULD be offended at not getting a card, sadly :( #offtopicslightly

Nanny0gg · 09/12/2014 23:12

It's a tricky one as some people like to receive a card.

Yep. I do.

I understand the reasoning for people who have suffered a loss. I know charities need the money but some people can afford to do both (obviously some can't).

I just like that small gesture of still keeping a link to people you may not see often and just keeping them in your thoughts just once a year.

mirren3 · 09/12/2014 23:12

lem no problem, I'm grouchy too.... I don't quite know why I wrote that, it's not like me, sorry.
I do get the point about how many will actually do it though!
Thanks everyone else too, it's a tough time of year.

3of5 · 10/12/2014 07:30

A lot of charities make funds from Christmas cards. The cards I buy are from charities I support.

patienceisvirtuous · 10/12/2014 07:39

Yes, I prefer to buy cards which support a charity - two birds, one stone :)