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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my dental practice is sexist?

68 replies

SconeRhymesWithPhone · 08/12/2014 17:28

So I've been spending quite a bit of time at the dentist in the last few weeks due to ongoing drama with extraction. I've rung multiple times for emergency appointments myself, and have sat in reception for hours listening to the receptionists answer the phones.

There are 4 dentists in this practice: 2 male and 2 female. From their credentials displayed on the wall, they all seem to be equally qualified and experienced.

Yet, the two male dentists are always referred to as Mr X and Mr Y, but the two female dentists are always referred to by their first names. This is the case both when the patient initiates the conversation (e.g. I'm here for an appointment with ...) or when the receptionist initiates the conversation (e.g. I can fit you in today at three with "Denise"/Mr Y.

Why would this be? It really annoys me now I've realised it. AIBU to think they are just demonstrating casual sexism?

OP posts:
madsadbad · 08/12/2014 17:31

Could it be that's how they have all individually asked to be addressed?

SconeRhymesWithPhone · 08/12/2014 17:32

I wondered that: I hope so.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/12/2014 17:32

I'm sure if they didn't like it, they'd say so.

I don't know why you're assuming sexism rather than personal choice.

Hatespiders · 08/12/2014 17:34

We used to have an excellent Bulgarian dentist, a woman. But her surname was a bit difficult to pronounce and she actually asked everyone to call her Sylvia. We also had a Doctor Vaz at our GPs, another first name, for the same reason. Both of them had names which seemed to have lots of consonants but no vowels, if you see what I mean.

SconeRhymesWithPhone · 08/12/2014 17:38

These two male first names are easy to pronounce, as are the female surnames. Don't think it can be that. Maybe it's just personal preference on their part, and obviously four is too small a sample size to draw conclusions, but I've been pondering for a while and thought I would gauge reactions here. Just for interest.

OP posts:
PlumpingUpPartridge · 08/12/2014 17:39

Ask the receptionist next time. She will think you are a weirdo I'd so ask

SconeRhymesWithPhone · 08/12/2014 17:42

I was really tempted to ask today. I'm in there so often now they all know me! That's worse though!

OP posts:
steff13 · 08/12/2014 17:50

I think I'd be concerned that none of them are being referred to as "Dr.".... Xmas Smile

I'd assume it's personal choice; surely if they didn't like it, they'd ask the receptionists to refer to them differently, which they would do, which would then trickle-down to the patients.

Hatespiders · 08/12/2014 17:51

By the way, massive admiration from me at you going to the dentist a lot and not being terrified. I have to have sedation.

MaidOfStars · 08/12/2014 17:52

Why would a dentist be called Dr (in the absence of any medical qual or PhD)?

steff13 · 08/12/2014 17:56

Dentists in the US are doctors. Are they not in the UK?

bigbluestars · 08/12/2014 17:58

No. Completely different degree course. Is dentistry considered a specialism of medicine in the US?

mangoespadrille · 08/12/2014 17:59

We have three male, one female. All but one (male) dentist are referred to by first name, the other as Mr. I think it's just the preference of the particular dentist.

bigbluestars · 08/12/2014 18:01

We have two dentists, male is referred to as Mr X, female is known by her first name.

SantyClaws · 08/12/2014 18:04

I think US dentists do a medical degree first and then specialize in dentistry afterwards?

3bunnies · 08/12/2014 18:06

Maybe they prefer not to be given a title which denotes their relationship to a man. I hated being Miss and didn't fancy being a Mrs either. Think all the years of study were worth it!

EduCated · 08/12/2014 18:07

You could ask, in a light and ponderous way, next time you're there. Would be interesting to know if there is a reason (like personal preference)!

steff13 · 08/12/2014 18:09

No. Completely different degree course. Is dentistry considered a specialism of medicine in the US?

I have no idea, actually. But per my googling, Great Britain is one of the only countries in the world whose dentists are not referred to as "Dr." and apparently this is due to the way your educational system is set up. Or so says wisegeek.com. I was thinking the OP was in the US, so I was assuming her dentist would be Dr. something or other.

My kids go to a pediatric dentist, and she goes by Dr. Jodi. Maybe you could try that, OP, Dr. + first name?

TittingAbout · 08/12/2014 18:09

We have a male and a female dentist. Female is addresses by her first name, but so is the male.
However, he is about 12 newly qualified.

His predecessor was a Mr.

HappyAgainOneDay · 08/12/2014 18:09

Not dentist related but I have the same thing at our local medical centre. Doctors are all Dr this or Dr that (including women doctors) but the nurses are Jill, Mary etc. When I make an appointment, I'm told that it's with Barbara or Jill. I ask for the surname and then refer to her as Nurse X from then including at my appointment. I think a title shows respect. I want to be Mrs Again not just Happy.

Our dentists (NHS) are all first names - men and women.

TittingAbout · 08/12/2014 18:10

*addressed

NewNamePlease · 08/12/2014 18:15

Are the women younger? Younger dentist and even doctors around me seem to prefer being referred to by their first names.

JADS · 08/12/2014 18:16

Dentists went through a phase of being allowed to be called Dr as a courtesy to bring them in line with other European dentists. The perceived wisdom was that it was too confusing for patients Hmm and therefore most have reverted to Mr, Mrs or Miss.

Maybe the female dentists don't like miss or Mrs. Maybe the female dentists trade on their approachable nature. Maybe the male dentists prefer a formal approach. Are the female dentists younger than their male counterparts?

Bakeoffcakes · 08/12/2014 18:18

I call my dentist Peter, because that's how he introduced himself and also how the staff address him.

BoneyBackJefferson · 08/12/2014 18:18

I couldn't tell you what my dentist's first or last name is because I see them twice and they bugger off in to private practice.

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