AIBU to think my dental practice is sexist?

[SconeRhymesWithPhone]

So I've been spending quite a bit of time at the dentist in the last few weeks due to ongoing drama with extraction. I've rung multiple times for emergency appointments myself, and have sat in reception for hours listening to the receptionists answer the phones.

There are 4 dentists in this practice: 2 male and 2 female. From their credentials displayed on the wall, they all seem to be equally qualified and experienced.

Yet, the two male dentists are always referred to as Mr X and Mr Y, but the two female dentists are always referred to by their first names. This is the case both when the patient initiates the conversation (e.g. I'm here for an appointment with ...) or when the receptionist initiates the conversation (e.g. I can fit you in today at three with "Denise"/Mr Y.

Why would this be? It really annoys me now I've realised it. AIBU to think they are just demonstrating casual sexism?

Traditionally dentists were considered surgeons, so referred to as Mr/ Mrs / Ms. Physicians were called Dr. It's a kind of reverse snobbery. Other surgical specialists always used to be Mr or whatever. We started to be called Dr to be consistent with US and Europe.

Maybe the specialism is what stops Dentists being Doctors?

Doctors are only Doctors until they specialise and become consultants, then they revert back to Mr - always better to see a Mr at the hospital than a Dr - Dentists have specialised so maybe that's why they keep the Mr?

Or a Mrs/Ms/Miss obviously!

Yes, surgeons revert to Mr, Ms etc. It's an honour. Dentists are surgeons. It would be a backward step then to refer to themselves as Dr.

I think it presents a sexist presence to the outside, yes. It may be personal preference but it does not send a good message.

Dentists in the US have a doctorate degree. It's a post graduate degree, but they are not physicians.

Interesting responses. All dentists roughly the same age (late twenties to late thirties) so I don't think that has a bearing. I agree with the pp who said that they prefer to use title and last name. Maybe that's why I noticed it, because I couldn't use my preferred mode of address?

Ooh, spookily similar usernames, SconeRhymesWithGone. Though which of us is right would be a whole other thread!

I'm about three times more qualified and experienced than the last polish dentist I worked with. Patients preferred her because she was "Dr".

Op, some dentists like being called by their first name. You should ask, it would be interesting to find out!!

I think I'll have to ask: sadly my next appointment isn't till Feb. DH is going next week though, maybe I can get him to ask instead!?

The two european-trained denstists at my surgery are Dr, the other two are Mr.
My uncle is also a dentist and Dr, but people often refer to him by his first name (which is far more difficult to pronounce than his surname).

I was always encouraged to call myself "Dr Bonzo". Firstly because that's what the other dentists called themselves, and it made me look less qualified than them. And because I looked very young, and it lent me some gravitas. Staff always referred to me as "Dr Bonzo" in front of patients. At dental school we were referred to a "Miss / Mr X". I had an extremely odious patient who referred to me as "Tiny" . It might have been meant well, and I was too mousey to say anything. My tutor was livid though. He said " you treat her with the professional respect she deserves and she shows you or you go elsewhere for treatment". That tutor was an utter cunt in every other respect, but I could have kissed him that day, and interestingly he was much nicer to me after that.

I work for dentists. The female ones do call themselves by their first name and the man does use Mr or Dr quite often. It's their choice.

Please don't ask the receptionist. She will be bemused and think WTAF and not know what to say. Well I would.

How interesting.

I read ages ago about how people have different expectations of their HCP depending on whether they are male/female, and there was some stuff around female GPs ending up giving much more emotional type support to patients as the patients expected them to listen and be understanding whereas with men it was much more go in say what's wrong get your professional answer go home type thing.

No idea obviously and could be for any reason why it is like this at the dentist. But could be something to do with the expectation on both sides that female practitioners are more approachable / caring and stuff than male ones who are seen apparently as being more distant/professional.

We are allowed to call ourselves Dr if we wish to. I never do because It make me feel pretentious. I tend to introduce myself to patients by my first name. Even though I am pushing 40 I would say that a lot of patients are older than me and I feel strange them calling me Mrs. simonthedog.

I introduce myself by my first name and am always called that by staff and patients. I work in an all female 3 dentist practice and all 3 of us do this- we range from mid twenties to late 40s (I'm 37).
We all use Dr as well- for me it's because I practice in my maiden name so would have to either still be Miss or be Mrs mymaidenname which is my mum! Dr is more unisex which I like. The original reason was because we are dental surgeons so get Mr/ Miss like other surgeons but I'm happy to go along with the more modern move towards Dr, bringing us into line with Europe and the US.
I think if we had a male dentist we would expect him to be called by his first name as well, it would seem strange to do otherwise.

I think there's a rule where if you're registered as a dentist, you need to use your current name and can't change it ever. So women would use their maiden name, partially because they probably aren't married when they qualified, and if they are married, they would want to avoid a situation where they divorced but still needed to use their married name for work.

So, maybe they just wanted to be referred to by their first names to avoid confusion?

There isn't a rule that says that. Not in the UK at least.

I work with 2 male dentists who go by their first names.

The sexism I encounter comes from patients. When I work with the male dental nurse about 90% of patients ask if he's training to be a dentist, never happens when I work with female nurses.

I could change my name with the GDC if I wanted to. I like practicing in my maiden name, I still get to use it that way.

We have only had one male dental nurse in 10 years. He actually was training to be a dentist. It's just not a job we get any men applying for.

I have a question. I loved my dentist as a child and he was always "Mr Stewart" to me, though my Mum called him by his first name.

In medical type situations I think it's reassuring for the adult treating them to be described to the child as Mr/Miss/Ms/Mrs as this denotes a sort of adult responsibility and experience (like teachers). Also children can be uncomfortable calling adults directly by their first names. Do those dentists on this thread who use their first names ever use surnames when dealing with children?

I also bet that there are many fewer GPs who use first names than dentists.

One of each in my practice, both first-namers.

No, Jewels234, when the professions were opened to women they all allowed for change of name when a woman married because that was then the norm, and they still do for those who choose to.

I think that referring to people by their first names in a professional environment is relatively recent. Are the men of a older generation where it was usual to call everyone by a title ? Maybe it's cultural. Maybe they are uncomfortable with the informality of first names.

I could be called Dr (PhD relevant to my job) or Mrs at work, but use my first name and expect everyone else to. I have worked with some people from overseas who were uncomfortable and called me "Dr Firstname"