To hate being told to "cheer up" by random strangers in the street?

[Summerbreezer]

When I am thinking, or distracted, it seems that my resting face is a little...grumpy. I am aware of that and make big efforts to be all smiley when I am around people I have to interact with.

Today, I was walking down the street happily thinking about my Christmas card list. My mind was in a happy place, clearly my face was not. I was minding my own business when a man (it is always men) came over to me and told me to "cheer up love".

This drives me bonkers. I think it is the height of rudeness. I don't have to look happy just for your benefit. What if something awful had just happened? I have every right to look as miserable as I like.

My friend thinks that I am overreacting and that it shows care and concern. She can't understand why I get so mad about it!

Hmm... don't mean that they aren't a thing - just that it's not the reason that blokes suggest you "cheer up" - I bet loads of people without a BRF get this and plenty of those WITH don't. It's all about whether a sleeze ball wants to make a shitty comment and you happen to be alone and not wearing a painted on smile at all times

I got this very recently in our church hall. I was selling the raffle tickets for the whisky raffle, at a table in the corner. I was having a lovely daydream about our visit to Tunisia last summer and planning a holiday of some sort for next year, but several people said, "Cheer up Spiders!" and so on. I'd absolutely loved to have told them to f* off, but you can't really do that at a church do. Plus the vicar was standing nearby. She'd have had forty fits.

I used to get it al lot when I was younger. I used to greet Smike! With. My granny's just died. And cheer up it might never happen. With.
Too late you've already spoken to me!
Always men and always quite a bit older than me. They tended to be taken aback by my relies.

I too have a naturally grumpy face. In fact, I met DH when he said "Cheer up, it might never happen". Twat.

The best though was in a bar in Greece when a man leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Excuse me love but has someone in your family died recently?"

Do these men ever say "cheer up" to other men?

No, thought not.

It's another way of putting women in their place.

Some very sad stories on here.

YANBU - my default expression looks like this and everyone always asks what's wrong? Nothing's wrong, this is my fecking face!

Also used to get this a LOT when I was younger. Especially when I was 19 and worked as a bar maid.

It's just occurred to me, on reading this thread, that it doesn't happen any more (I'm nearly 40).

I like that video - shame we can't do that in real life 'a random man had life advice'

Happened to me in a chip shop queue when I had just discovered my father in law was close to dying (hence no proper meal that night). Best not to comment unless you know the person I think.

A man at work says this to me now and again.

It's normally when I'm sat in the staff room eating my lunch, you know, just relaxing, not thinking about looking happy.

I normally respond with this face and eye ball him with a steely gaze until he goes away.

It pisses me right off it does.

You should youtube 'Bitchy Resting Face' it makes my chuckle. Apparently the male equivalent is Arsehole Resting Face

Moln ditto apart from I used to work in a café - there's something obviously irresistible to those of a smarmy persuasion to do this to a young woman in a serving position and that they know you're obliged to be nice back not tell them to fuck off

Used to get this quite a bit (but not since middle-aged and fat, so some benefit there...). One time: bloke at work said "Cheer up, who's died?". "My grandad, last night" - didn't go down well. I ended up under pressure to apologise to him for upsetting/embarassing him. God, that was the crappiest place I ever worked.

Yes, exactly, this does not happen to middle-aged women (despite the effects of age and gravity causing far more 'grumpy' resting faces).

It is about men saying 'I want that pretty young woman to smile at me, so I'll tell her to'.

Best not to comment unless you know the person I think

The thing is, nobody that actually knows you would ever say this, would they?
I can't think of a single occasion when it's happened and it hasn't been a stranger - male - who has said it.

I used to get that all the time, much less so now I'm 48. It is so irritating and actually makes me furious.

However I would say don't challenge them. I hate saying that because why should women have no right of reply?

But... I once said 'fuck off' under my breath to a man who said this to me.
He told me I was about to lose my life for disrespecting him
So he calmly, in the middle of a London street, strangled me until I passed out.

The police were brilliant and caught him the next day. He went to prison as he had form.

But I now never challenge people. It is so unfair, but you just don't know what people will do.

This happened to me the day my uncle died. I'd got a phone call at work, and was leaving there and crossing the road to the car park.

Some random man said "Cheer up love, might never happen". He never knew how close I came to decking him.

I indeed have a bitchy resting face. I've had this since I was a child. My NN as a child was Garfield because of my grumpy expression. I was called posh spice in the 90s, again because of my expression. I've been called snobby, stuck up, misery. Had various comments from the usual "cheer up, might never happen" through to "Christ, bet you're a laugh at parties!". It is always men and yes, definitely older men.

I could let it make me self conscious and go to a great effort to put on a false unnatural expression but I don't care about strangers enough to go out of my way to please them I'm afraid. My face is here to stay , I've grown to love it. I get accused of pouting a lot too, that's just the way my lips are. Fucks sake.

I get cheer up it might never happen and I say back it already did and they scurry off but im a bit mean lol

I loathe being told to cheer up or smile and I have found a particularly effective means of dealing with this unpleasantness - extend middle fingers on each hand and push one's impassive poker face into a smile. I got a round of applause from two ladies on the bus last time I responded to some mouth breathing knuckle dragger's request to "give me a smile" thus. (genuine smile there!)