Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy DS a princess dress?

95 replies

dameagatha · 07/12/2014 10:38

DS1 (2.4yrs) loves dressing up, as most toddlers do. He also loves Frozen (especially Elsa) & has sometimes said he wants to 'be a princess'. If we were a mixed-child household, we'd probably end up with a mixture of dressing-up clothes & he'd wear pirate/princess/doctor combos quite naturally. He's the eldest of 2 boys (DS2 9mths), so I'd have to buy him a dress specially. I have no problem doing this, but DH thinks it's a bit odd.
Do I just buy the dress? Am I overthinking this?
Thoughts appreciated Smile

OP posts:
Reddeb · 07/12/2014 13:29

My ds aged 2.5 yrs loves nothing better than pink and glitter and dressing up as a pink glittery fairy. He has no idea it's for just girls and why should he?! Or perhaps according to some here he's just weird or I'm lying.

buffythemuffinslayer · 07/12/2014 14:57

Buy it!

DS (3.10) is also obsessed with Frozen. His favourite colour is pink - he's like a magpie with it.

He hasn't asked for a dress (we don't really do dress-up at home) but asked for a Frozen t-shirt, so I have bought him a girls one as a stocking filler. He will also get a Frozen back back (pink) to replace the godforsaken Thomas version he has, and some glittery bits in his stocking.

If DS had asked for the dress, he'd be getting that too. They're young, these things make them happy. Whether it's spiderman or barbie. Why impose our own social worries on them.

buffythemuffinslayer · 07/12/2014 14:58

Backpack! Auto correct fail.

Fanfeckintastic · 07/12/2014 15:16

I can't honestly believe there's people saying they wouldn't get him one simply because he's a boy! I thought these threads were predictable but seriously I'm shocked, why on earth not??

Bulbasaur · 07/12/2014 15:20

We had dress up clothes when I was a kid, and DB would dress up in dresses with my friends and let us put make up on him. We have a picture of all of us that's cute. I think he just liked being included, just as I liked being included in his hot wheels race track, but had no interest in having any cars myself. He grew up with no interest in wearing dresses, with the occasional cross dressing with a group of friends on Halloween because it's funny.

Personally, I wouldn't get him the dress unless he specifically asks for it while you're out shopping. He doesn't seem that adamant about it from your original post of only sometimes wanting to dress like a princess. Whether you like it or not, buying your son a dress does make a sort of statement about how you're going against the grain. So I wouldn't do it unless he really wants it.

bakingtins · 07/12/2014 15:23

If he wants a dress, get it. My Ds2 (4) loves to dress up as a princess, and asked FC for a princess dress last year. He was a fairy at his own party.
Ds1 preferred a knight outfit. It's no more likely that ds2 will grow up to be a princess than that ds1 will be into jousting. They are little children playing, there is no issue. If either of them did turn out to be gay, a cross dresser or transsexual, I don't think you will 'cure' them by denying them a dress at 2, you're just giving them the message that how they want to be is not acceptable.

BlairWaldorfHeadBand · 07/12/2014 18:03

My brother liked to wear a dress, heels, make up and necklace and pretend to be the wicked stepmother to my Cinderella and make me tidy up ( I did eventually click that he just wanted to boss me about!) it was all just fun and just kids using their imagination, nothing wrong about it. Said brother is now a big hulk of a navy officer.
However my mum did send him into school in rights once and he still gets teased about that but at pre school I don't see how it can be bad

BlairWaldorfHeadBand · 07/12/2014 18:04

Tights* he wore tights to school

everlong · 07/12/2014 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

simbacatlivesagain · 07/12/2014 18:14

Well I would buy my toddler son one.

I was interested to read/hear the recounts of Stephanie Hirst recently about when her transgenderness (is that a word) became apparent.

MoreBonkersThanBonkers · 07/12/2014 18:25

I wouldn't buy one especially but it wouldn't bother me if my sons had played dress up with 'girls' clothing. I always had loads of dress up cloths for my boys and girls and my neither my boys or any of their male friends ever tried on the 'girls' clothing. I think that's amazing considering 95% of MN'ers male kids seem to.

I'm also amazed my DCs have grown up to be lovely respectful non-homophobic and non-sexist adults as I've clearly been a negligent parent.

It's really not a big issue though. He's young and I don't think anyone would care what he wears.

MoreBonkersThanBonkers · 07/12/2014 18:31

Eek, sorry for grammar mistakes. I'll blame my auto correct

Mehitabel6 · 07/12/2014 19:34

I wouldn't buy any ready made dressing up clothes, boy or girl. Much better to have a box of cast offs, car boot finds, lengths of material etc and use their imaginations.

LadyLuck10 · 07/12/2014 19:40

Op you obviously know what mn are going to say, that it's perfectly normal and all their DS wear dresses. Mean while in rl it doesn't happen.

ReginaBlitz · 07/12/2014 19:47

I wouldnt. personally i think its slightly strange? My daughter decided to dress my nearly 3 year old son in her elsa dress earlier! it wasnt his choice and tbh he looked hilarious. So as a joke yes but for real life play no. My 2 and 3 year old boys turn their noses up at anything girly so think its strange how a boy would even want to by choice dress up as a girl.
Maybe i sound harsh i dont know, sorry you dont have a girl for moments this though

hissingcat · 07/12/2014 20:06

I've not got a boy but I don't think I'd buy him a princess dress if I did.
fair enough if there was a dress in the house that already belonged to a sibling, no harm in dressing up but I think for a parent to go out and buy their son a princess dress is strange.

WorraLiberty · 07/12/2014 20:15

What tends to happen in real life (or at least in my real life and the lives of those around me), is that boys will pick dresses out of the mixed dressing up box and wear them - nothing unusual about that.

What tends to happen on MN (and certainly not in my real life) is that boys actually ask their parents to buy a princess dress, specifically for them.

They then tend to go one better, and ask to wear it to school on a non uniform day, or to a class birthday party and many Mumsnetters will fall over themselves to pretend it's totally not unusual, the kids won't even notice and absolutely no-one will tease him or take the piss.

Meanwhile back in the real world....

raltheraffe · 07/12/2014 20:29

My son wanted an Elsa dress. He was told no chance and given a Batman cape.

DixieNormas · 07/12/2014 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mehitabel6 · 07/12/2014 20:44

Correct WorraLiberty.

LadyLuck10 · 07/12/2014 20:45

YY worra

bobbyjoe · 07/12/2014 20:48

When my DS was 3 the home visitor did a routine house check at that age and some of the questions were to do with whether he identified as a male. I suppose for me it was easy as these types of things never came up with him (he never asked for girls' clothes), not that I only bought so-called 'gender-specific' toys. I wouldn't have minded him dressing up at play group or friends but wouldn't have gone out to buy one and would have said it's for girls if he'd asked. I think buying one risks him becoming obsessed with only that outfit, as happened to a friend.

hiccupgirl · 07/12/2014 20:51

Clearly in a parallel universe over here as I have a 4 yr old DS who loves dressing up and has a witches dress as well as Elsa and Rapunzel dresses. He used to wear them happily to nursery but since starting school has kept them more for at home.

If he wants a princess dress and you know it is something he will love then get it for him. As you said, if he had older sisters there would probably be dresses around and he would wear them with no question. It does feel different when you buy them specifically for them but I know my DS has worn his loads and them bring him a lot of joy. I don't think it will last that much longer for him now he's at school and he's conforming more to the gender stereotypes there.

bobbyjoe · 07/12/2014 20:59

To be honest though I wouldn't have bought something like that for a girl either if I'd had one. Mean mummy that I am.

MyIronLung · 07/12/2014 22:09

I'd buy it. My ds (3.5) loves frozen too but I haven't made the mistake of taking him into the disney store to see the dresses (if I did he would want one and I can't afford it at the moment!)

DS also regularly has his nails painted by his sister, his hair put in pigtails and asks to play with her make up. I don't see a problem with it.