To think being called "A cock sucking bitch" is a bit much?!

[GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe]

I am still reeling from an encounter I had tonight, and need to vent.

I meet 2 girlfriends tonight at a restaurant. We had just finished our main course and my friend went up to get a round of drinks from the bar. So 2 if us remainded seated on one side of a table for four. With that, a group who were either waiting to be seated, or had finished, began accumulating,standing, around our table. A few of the blokes in the party, at least 40-50 in age set their pint glasses down on the table, where my friend who was seated opposite would be seated. At thus point we had not yet finished our meal, we had pudding to c

Your friend tried to attract the attention of staff when the guy was shouting at you. Staff did not intervene. That's enough reason to put it everywhere you possibly can. Women being abused by a large group of men, and the staff turn their backs. No. People need to know what they're letting themselves in for when they go there.

Exactly, Jux, what if the next group of men go ahead and punch the woman in the face, glass her, either of which can be fatal.

The thing is, it's not naming and shaming the staff, it's naming and shaming a place of work which either hasn't given its staff the right training - so they don't feel confident enough to intervene - or which won't support staff if a customer then complains. (This is hugely common - staff member deals with situation well, drunk customer sobers up/gets embarrassed or more pissed off/phones and speaks to manager next day/manager then bollocks staff member).

Both these things can be fixed by a venue. And if they want to keep both their custom and their licence, they need to be fixed.

Guilty, would you consider taking your story to the local newspaper? You can name and shame the restaurant.

Is it a news story? They did the right thing in the end. The problem was that the venue dragged its feet about the issue. I'd have thought it wasn't a black and white enough issue for a paper.

The restaurant behaved appallingly too. They should have been over at the first sign of trouble (instead of catching your eye and ignoring it) and later should have got your side of the story and apologised profusely and taken at least something off your bill.

The story would be that after politely asking him to remove the drinks she was subjected to a 15 mins rant with abusive language and felt threatened and intimidated - and everyone was staring and the restaurant let this go on for this length of time! And then they didn't even apologise. It's definitely enough of a 'story' but I suspect OP doesn't really want the publicity.

Trip Advise the fuck out of the place !

The restaurant should have called the police at the time.

Definitely complain.
Change your email address if you feel you have to.
They have to realise they handled this badly.

Sorry you experienced that dick. Hopefully his temper got him battered by someone that night.

did tell me that I had an uncanny knack of "winding men up"

Clearly, there are some men who think that any woman who speaks independently is "winding men up". Such men are misogynist wastes of space. Take no notice.

I was wondering if we were actually in the wrong and were being a bit petty in the first place?tif

No - you were not at all unreasonable.

The venue should be managing it patrons better - most places manage to separate stand up drinkers and different sit down eaters.

The table intrudes when called on the behaviour should have apologised and moved.

Your ex is a liar - and was trying to blame his poor behaviour on you.

I think I might complain - if you can be bothered - in hope that this venue makes some changes and it doesn't happen again to other diners. It really should of been handled better.

How awful, to be subjected to that level of abuse, mid-meal in a restaurant. I get the impression, reading between the lines, that the restaurant finds women diners in small groups a nuisance, compared to large groups of drunken men.

You are far more reticent than me OP. I would have tipped the drinks out, or at the very least put them on another table. I wouldn't have sat quietly and let someone speak to me like that. If the restaurant staff didn't intervene so as to remove the nuisance men, I'd have stormed out, dramatically, without paying.

I would certainly do something about it now, and wouldn't rely on contacting the restaurant for a placatory apology or voucher. This is what Trip Advisor is made for I think!

'... called me a posh Cock sucking bitch (I am not posh) '

very inappropriately this sentence made me smile

too it's probably not fair on the OP, but it's probably true of me. I'm not posh, either.

Maybe he was just a bad drunk, or more than likely one of these men who can't handle being stood up to by a women and who gets horribly abusive and aggressive when it happens. They do exist sadly, and I myself have been on the receiving end of it fairly recently as it happens.

Toohasty that was the one part of the exchange that I did find amusing - we all had a giggle about that after!

I think he just couldn't cope with the fact that I could articulate in a reasoned way instead of shouting obscenities at the top of my voice, if that makes me posh and stuck up then so be it!