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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think being called "A cock sucking bitch" is a bit much?!

91 replies

GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 07/12/2014 03:14

I am still reeling from an encounter I had tonight, and need to vent.

I meet 2 girlfriends tonight at a restaurant. We had just finished our main course and my friend went up to get a round of drinks from the bar. So 2 if us remainded seated on one side of a table for four. With that, a group who were either waiting to be seated, or had finished, began accumulating,standing, around our table. A few of the blokes in the party, at least 40-50 in age set their pint glasses down on the table, where my friend who was seated opposite would be seated. At thus point we had not yet finished our meal, we had pudding to c

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Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 07/12/2014 08:10

I have been thinking about it more this morning, and even if I was in a "wetherspoons" type place and I was standing up drinking, if I put my drink on someone's table (which I wouldn't anyway I think, I would just hold it) and they pointed out they were trying to eat, I would apologise profusely and move it straightaway!

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ApocalypseThen · 07/12/2014 08:13

What a nasty end to a nice evening. I would certainly be writing a very strong letter of complaint to the management and possibly a bad review if that didn't get satisfactory results.

MillionToOneChances · 07/12/2014 08:16

Complain, complain, complain. The management shouldn't have let them crowd your table in the first place, and after your experience they should have been hugely apologetic. End your ex is a self-justifying twat.

MillionToOneChances · 07/12/2014 08:16

*and your ex

FunkyBoldRibena · 07/12/2014 08:19

No love. He is a cunt.

And you don't have a habit of winding men up. He has a habit of blaming his bad behaviour on you/other women. That's the crux of it.

MammaTJ · 07/12/2014 08:21

My exp, who was both physically and emotionally abusive, did tell me that I had an uncanny knack of "winding men up". So I was upset that even though it was my friend who initiated the "confrontation" it was me he properly squared up to, and levelled all the vitriol at. I wondered if maybe it is true, I do have a face that winds men up!?

NO! The man was a bully, like your ex! Like all bullies, they pick on those who seem least able to stand up to them, to confront them! Your friend had already proved herself too able to stand up to him by asking him to move his glass. You had seemed to him less likely to sand up for yourself by sitting there saying nothing, hence his picking on you. You do not have a face that winds men up, you are just more reserved than your friend.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 07/12/2014 08:31

His reaction was clearly ott. But it is ok what we asked in the first place right?! I should point out that the place does have a "bar area" where people can have a drink, but it was busy so they had spilled out inti the seating area, where people were clearly dining. The only time I can imagine this being ok is in a wedding/private function where you all end up table-hopping after the meal, but in that situation you know each other right?! Surely I a restaurant when you have paid good money for a meal it is not unreasonable to ask other people not to use your table as a dumping ground while you are still sat there right?!

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GnomeDePlume · 07/12/2014 08:32

YANBU

IME there is a certain type of person who believes they have a right to whatever they take. So often I have seen it in middle aged men. Their physical powers are starting to wane so they try to take what they want by bullying people who they know wont fight back.

The man in the restaurant was an odious bully.

MissWimpyDimple · 07/12/2014 08:36

Sadly he was probably on coke. Happens a lot.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 07/12/2014 08:41

I know what you mean gnome. He stemmed completely aghast that someone had dared challenge/stand up to him.

He kept saying ridiculous things like "you don't own this table, if I chose to sit right here next to you you couldn't stop me" to which I replied (in my head), no I couldn't, but it would make you really rude.

It was interesting how he made it all about class and gender - he kept calling me a posh stuck up bitch - he had a northern accent and I am southern but as working class as they come! When he started the cock sucking misogynistic vitriol I was just aghast. I literally just sat there, with him stood up and towering over us spraying us with his spittle and ranting.I have never seen someone get so wound up over something so trivial. A woman in his party did try and calm him down and apologise to us. I feel sorry for his wife/partner if he has one! Shock

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Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 07/12/2014 08:47

Interesting dimple, you may be right. I wouldn't usually expect it in that demographic in my fairly sleepy town, but his mate was trying to dress a bit snappy in a tweed blazer etc so they were obviously trying to be a bit "hip", so wouldn't surprise me actually. He was clearly deranged and posturing like a peacock.

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MarshaBrady · 07/12/2014 08:52

Argh for you, what an arse. And the worst thing is that it ruined your lovely night.

ApocalypseThen · 07/12/2014 08:53

No, your request was not in the least unreasonable. I've never heard of people in a resturant plonking themselves and their drinks down in the middle of another party's meal. It's extremely rude behaviour.

ithoughtofitfirst · 07/12/2014 08:54

Yanbu!!

This story might make you feel better...

A guy parked his motorbike in parent and child in asda car park last week. A woman confronted him about it because she'd had to wait for a space for her family. He was literally in her face with his nose touching hers screaming "i'll kick your head in you stupid bitch". I was gobsmacked. Such a cunt reaction to a polite and reasonable request.

Branleuse · 07/12/2014 08:55

eurgh, i hate men sometimes (notallmen) and i hate the general public, and just eugh. Im sorry that happened to you. Im also astounded that the restaurant didnt waive your bill for such a hideous experience. I would be shaken up

livelablove · 07/12/2014 08:55

Yeah don't let your abusive ex tell you about a)yourself and b)men, not all men are the same as him, forget that loser. The vast majority of men are kind, decent people who treat others well. You wind people up no more than anyone else normal, I will take a bet on it.

GnomeDePlume · 07/12/2014 09:06

I wouldnt focus on the words. He was simply saying the rudest thing he could think of (and showing a major lack of imagination at the same time!). It is a bit like a toddler calling someone Poo Face.

I am reminded of an old Flanders & Swann song:

Ma's out, Pa's out
Let's talk rude.
Pee, poo, belly, bum, drawers

gita7007 · 07/12/2014 09:09

an unpleasant man with issues….

DoraGora · 07/12/2014 09:16

I think I'll visit the place. Then we'll see who's a cock sucking bitch!!!

RonaldMcFartNuggets · 07/12/2014 09:18

Poor you, that's sounds horrible and would've shaken anyone up.

Putting their drinks on your table...entitled selfish sexist pricks. Disgusting to have called you that.
I bet my house they wouldn't have done that if 4 blokes had been sat at the table.

I would complain to the manager or owners of restaurant and would ask for CCTV to report him to police.

None of it was your fault at all.

I had a similar, but no where near as bad experience of eating at a restaurant during a World Cup game with men literally leaning on us as we sat. We got up and left. Entitled pricks some men can be.

DoraGora · 07/12/2014 09:19

To be fair to the arsehole and his friends, though. Some people were born and brought up in a stable. And, the fact is, they just don't know any better.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 07/12/2014 09:22

Funny enough they did leave the first bottle of prosecco off our bill - I don't think they meant to, but we weren't in any hurry to point out their mistake! Every cloud and all that...Smile

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Tobyjugg · 07/12/2014 09:27

Formal letter of complaint to the restaurant and a note on trip advisor that they are willing to serve abusive drunks.

RonaldMcFartNuggets · 07/12/2014 09:27

That's the least they could've done, op

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 07/12/2014 09:31

I don't know if I could report him to the police. I did feel very threatened, and his language was incredibly offensive, but he never actually verbally threatened me with violence or raised a hand to me.

I did feel a little let down by the restaurant, but they didn't see the whole thing. They may have thought we were being as bad as him and it was just an argument or something.

Apparently my friend did catch the eye of one of the bar men and was gesturing for him to come over when he was shouting at me, but the bar man just looked away. It was only when the man was shouting so loud that the whole place was looking that the manager came over and ushered the man out.

We went out for a couple if drinks after and I was so paranoid we would bump into him and what he would do! I was going to get the last train back but got a taxi instead...

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