H and I separated in the summer due to his infidelity. I work f/t, he was sahp. He has insisted that he wants nothing at all from me and has so far kept to this and is now working and in a studio flat on his own. Dc are with me.
His flat is 6 miles from us, in the city where his friends are. He comes to the family home every morning at 6.30, allowing me to go to work early. I am a teacher, and would struggle if he didn't do this - no c/ms start that early and I struggle juggling everything as it is. He drops the dc off at 7.30, then goes to work - near where he lives. To date, he has been able to leave work at 3pm to pick dc up and he then looks after them in the family home until I return - usually about 5pm, sometimes much later due to meetings, parents' evenings etc. He usually stays until they are in bed. Once a week I am home before 4.
He also comes round on Sundays after lunch and takes the dc out for a few hours. They eat all meals at home, though he usually buys them an ice-cream or something on the Sunday. They have never been to his flat.
He pays me nothing and I have been insisting he brings his own coffee (naice machine = expensive coffee) and fruit for breakfast in the mornings (too early for him to eat at home). Obviously he is welcome to have a meal if I work late, and I occasionally give him something on Sunday if I have made a big meal.
He is generally happy with the arrangement, but has made a few comments that suggest he feels he is being taken advantage of. Not that he objects to the childcare, but that he is being 'good' by doing it, and that I am doing all the taking. I don't know. Given that he has walked away with nothing, should I be asking for money from him now he works, or, conversely, should I be paying him for childcare?
We have taken no legal advice, apart from free 30 minutes when I first found out (me, not him) so I just don't know. I do know that the current arrangement suits me very well, and I really don't know how I would cope without the childcare he provides.
Any advice would be great - would love to know how unfair or not this looks from the outside.