to think the school should change wording of letters if they don't mean what the letter says

[dingdongknockknock]

Dc1 brought a letter home from school about school play.

In it it said "we would like to allow photos, but if any parent does not want photos took we will arrange another time for photos to be took as we would not be able to allow photos or videos to be took"
So I told school I don't want dc1 to be in any photos for safety reasons

This morning the teacher stopped me and basically backed me into the corner to allow photos to be took (as its lovely to have photos took and they would make sure dc1 is in the corner and wearing something on DC head so no one can reconise DC)

So AIBU to think the school should not have put they will stop photos if really they push and push until the parent agrees to allow photos?

I am Queen Pedant at times but the focus on the grammar in the OP rather than the problem is really quite distasteful.

dingdong I have no experience of schools because my only DC is a baby, but if you are getting nowhere with the HT might it be one for the governors?

You need to speak to the head teacher and the person who cover safeguarding within the school.

This is a major safeguarding issue if they are not taking you and child needs seriously.

'I forgot this is mn and most seem to pick up spelling and grammer.'
When your thread in itself is about questionable grammar I think that its acceptable!

Don't feel bullied by the teachers OP. I'm a teacher myself and what you're asking for is absolutely fine, if you feel there is a real need for your child to be excluded from the photos.

Absolutely your right to decide on whether the school or anyone else publishes your child's picture online, and if other parents have unrestricted access to taking photographs, you have no control over what they subsequently post. I think the school are behaving very unprofessionally here. They shouldn't be putting pressure on you. It's up to them to come up with a workable compromise, and that shouldn't involve making you feel bullied.

Ask the school if they have a policy covering safeguarding or should you check the position with the Governors and LEA. They are being crap.

I think I'd send a very strong email to the Head. Sometimes when something is written down people will take it more seriously.

And when will the grammar police get the message that people find them rude, annoying and a bit pathetic?

YANBU.
The school should have clear safeguarding policies around taking of photos in school. And it should stick to them not try to browbeat you into changing your mind.

They aren't taking your legitimate worries remotely seriously. It's time for a formal letter with the keyword SAFEGUARDING making an appearance. I'm sure people here will have time to help draft one.

"I am concerned that staff at do not understand the significance of publishing photos of in newsletters or online."

That kind of thing. I'll come back with more if it would be helpful.

Do you have a social worker or other official contact (police?) because of the threats? Perhaps you could enlist or invoke their support to show the school that you aren't just being fussy, it is a genuine concern with official approval.

Yes. Mention Keeping Children Safe in Education and that should get their attention. Safeguarding and Child Protection are also key words, as MrsH says above.

Next step is to escalate to your LEA that you do not feel that your child is being kept safe.

My DS was not allowed photos when he started school for safety issues. Can I ask are the school aware of the safety issues? I did have a meeting with head and arranged if EX turned up they would delay him until I arrived but were very supportive.

I did have a pic of my DS put on website once though but it was removed as soon as they received the email.

In reception he was airbrushed out on school website, Things had changed by year 1

Sorry meant to add. I would also send an email stating your postion on the whole photo thing.

strongly worded letter to head and board of governors

outline issues in past re getting photo removed from website and current issue

i would do as HTH states above and for good measure a few recent news stories!!

YANBU

I'm with other posters that this is unacceptable. It's quite possible, though, that this was a (possibly inexperienced) teacher acting off her own bat without realising the implications, and that the school management would take a different view.

You should definitely take this up with the school. How confident would you be about having a face-to-face conversation with the headteacher in the first instance? Sometimes that can be better and result in a quicker resolution (ie you don't want photos - fine, we'll make sure they're not taken) than an email or other written communication which can feel much more formal and take longer. I do know that not everyone is confident about approaching a headteacher, so if not, you should email in a pleasant but firm tone, along the lines of, 'Thank you for your letter of xx/xx/xxxx. For safeguarding reasons I do not want any photos or videos taken of DC. Please would you confirm that the school will follow its policy as stated in the letter and arrange a separate time for photos for those children whose parents wish it.' If you don't get the confirmation, your next stop is a more formal approach to the headteacher and governors, asking to see the school's safeguarding policy.

Also, are they effectively punishing your child by sidelining them in the christmas play, just because you do not want them to be in any pictures... What would happen if your child had the star part?

YANBU your child's safety takes priority.

I've spoke to all professionals involved. They all agreed with me.

So I went back to head teacher. (Who pressured me in first place) and he replied "I want no harm to come to x but I have 100 other parents to think of"

So they wouldn't budge. A professional recommended solicitor who wrote a stern fax stating we take all consent of photos away. Solicitor received a fax which basically says they are excluding dd from the play as they are wanting to give the 100 other parents the chance to have a forever lasting memento of the play.

I'm truly appalled at this. Hasn't the head heard of inclusion?

Can I tell you what happened at a nativity I watched this afternoon? I happen to know there was at least one vulnerable child taking part. Staff took individual pictures of pupils in their costumes beforehand, and parents were invited to take their own pictures afterwards. No filming or photography was allowed during the performance, and everyone complied without a murmur (I was at the back, and could see there were no sneaky cameras.)

Your poor DD.

I would escalate this to the Governors and the LEA as it is an unreasonable response.

It might be worth posting on the Education board as there are some posters on there who are experts in issues to do with schools.

Absolutely you must escalate this- awful awful head teacher:(

If they can put her in a corner with something over her head, they can slip her out of the room during a post production photocall, and keep her out of the photos. That makes the other parents happy but more importantly keeps your DD safe.

Don't quite understand why people seem to keep wanting children in corners with things over their heads anyway. Surely they can be in a play, or be breastfed, without this reaction.

This is insane.

At our school we are asked not to take photos during the performance. After the performance we can take photos of our own children or the group, under supervision. This means that any child who is not to have their photograph taken will be out of the group shot, maybe with their mum taking their photo individually, or if parents not there given a job to do by the teachers (at least hits is my understanding of what would happen, and what we've been told), I've never noticed it happening because am concentrating on grabbing a quick photo of my dc in costume.

I'm wide-mouthed at the head's response. The right of the parents to put photos on fucking Facebook trumps full inclusion?

Fuck. That.

Governors then LEA. I daresay Ofsted would be interested too. Don't forget to do your Parentview thingy!

I am shivering with vicarious indignation. A careless, possibly spiteful, hopelessly outdated and utterly wrong decision from the school there.

honestly, this is just mad.

when my biggest dds were 5 (they are 20 and 17 now) it was common for photos to be taken, and indeed the school hired a videographer to record the whole thing and flogged the videos at a tenner each. But the whole point was that nobody had the means to share them beyond their immediate friends.

we live in a different world now. its a child protection issue in your case. in my case, i wouldnt want a random picture (with their finger up their nose, or whatever) following them around for all time. and my wish to photograph my darling never trumps another womans right to be safe.

I know the thread has moved on but @worraliberty, I have my poor sick child in the bed with me and I just woke him up I laughed that hard at your comment. I had tears rolling down my face, he wasn't impressed!