Boris Bike and DH ! and my SN kids.

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Just to give you some background, I have two SN kids. I started working again a year ago and have found it difficult to juggle with hospital appointments and therapy for the kids. I was depressed earlier in the year due to the my overall workload. I am responsible for everything apart from actually doing DH's job ! He is quite happy to allow me to drown in everything whilst he makes time for his hobbies. He has alot of freedom and money. I feel crushed. So i'm not happy but I just get on with it for the sake of the kids.

Anyway, a few months ago DH mentioned Boris Bikes and the possibility of using them to get to work. He only has a 15 min walk to work from the station. I said that I wold prefer that he didn't use them as I felt it was dangerous riding a bike in central london (especially without a helmet) and if anything happens to him, me and his SN kids will be in alot of trouble as I can't go back to work full time as SN kids are too demanding. We are already struggling financially as he took a big pay cut earlier this year. I heard nothing else after that.

Yesterday, I got a phone call from Boris Bike Hire asking to speak to my DH about his account. I said "errrr what? his what? sorry who are you?"

I then rang DH at work who pretended he didn't know what i was talking about until I said "they said you emailed them about your account." At which point he stopped denying it and admitted he'd been riding them.

I then spent about 4 hours wondering if he's having an affair cos of the damn Boris Bike revelation. Maybe it's easier to get to Soho and back on his Boris bike !

When he got home, he apologised and said he knew I wouldn't like it so he decided not to tell me, and that he's going to carry on riding them anyway.

Very pissed off: about the lying and about the i dont really care what you think bit.

AIBU?

zzzzz
i don't think i have repeatedly referred to them as 'SN kids'.

oh you mean in my original post re: SN kids ?

When i was typing original post, I had one of my small kids constantly talking to me and i was finding it difficult to think, hence the repetition. Although i don't know why the repetition is a problem.

Since they are OP's own kids and she seems to be under a lot of pressure I'm sure we could overlook how she refers to them.
OP I don't really have any advice for you except to say that as I think you're aware your problem is about so much more than bikes and that I'm sure you are really struggling with your situation. Could you get DH to have the kids over the weekend and have a few hours to yourself to think? I know how difficult it can be to keep all the balls in the air and have a moment to think about how to improve a situation when you have a child with SN, two is way beyond what most people can even imagine!

zzzzzz - i understand where you are coming from. I would never refer to someone else's kids as 'SN Kids', but as I did so in this instance as they are my kids, and I was typing quickly.

Thank you Thisismyfirsttime. I very much appreciate your kind words and understanding. I am going out this weekend for dinner with a friend (yay!). Although that was nearly cancelled due to his last minute work requirements (funnily enough this doesn't ever seem to clash with his social engagements).

I have been having a think about what alot of you have said. I have become resentful. I think I need to go out more, and have a bit more of a life and DH is going to have to learn to pick up the slack, rather than leaving me to do it.