to think he should have dealt with this

[belle1974]

Background We have 2 primary aged boys 10 and 8. 8 year old mild sen. We also have a 2 year old dd who doesn't go to childcare. I am seasonal self employed but will probably work on average 10 hours per week during the busy Christmas period. Much of this is done whilst looking after toddler although dh has her at weekend events.
Dh works long hours. 6.30 to 7pm including commute on average Monday to Friday. Because of this he doesn't do more than the odd club pick up during the week. I do virtually all the childcare unless physically not there. (even weekends. he changed the odd nappy but thats it) He may cook one meal at the weekend and might wash up once a month on average. I do and indeed have always done all night wakings even if I am working next day. dd still breastfed.
He in theory does garden and diy but he hasn't had much to do recently. He also does finances and occassionally takes rubbish out. I maybe do 90 per cent and he does 10.
I deal with all school stuff, medical, dental etc
So dh had a day off work Friday to go to an exhibition. He was home quite early but still did very little except one school and one club run. Saturday he was out all day doing a hobby. I was at home with dc and sadly discovered one of our guinea pigs had died. I dealt with informing dc which was especially hard for middle child. Dh came home so I warned him not to make a fuss as dc upset. He moaned that he wasn't going to bury him as he didn't want to risk digging up other pets.
So Sunday was spent with me handwashing uniforms (washing machine broken and awaiting replacement) and doing general house stuff. Dh didn't do much apart from tidying up some of his stuff. I went out for the afternoon with oldest so dh had youngest 2 for a few hours.
So come Monday I go to feed guinea pig and find it still dead in the cage.
Aibu to think he should have dealt with this at least.
I haven't spoken to him yet as I was working last night.
sorry long and ranty

I'm sorry but that is horrible for the poor remaining GP, I don't keep them anymore but I do keep rabbits and having a dead rabbit being left for two days makes me feel very uncomfortable, it should have been removed immediately and at least put in a carrier bag as a temporary measure at the minimum.

Poor GP

I learn all I need to know about people from how they treat their animals.

Disgusting of both of you - couldn't think of anything I care less about than you getting a lie in.

I did cover it with hidey hole thing and close off cage to other guinea pig though. I expected dh to dispose of it promptly but clearly he saw it as my job. point taken but I did have 3 dc in the house at the time including a 2 year old and there was a disagreement going on so I had to prioritise. He could have disposed of it when he came home from his full day out on his hobby as I had been working since 1st thing looking after dc, taking them out etc etc when he did nothing all day to assist. I also wrongly assummed ln Sunday that he had dealt with it. I felt quite sick Monday to still see it there.

velvet I accept your 12 hour days were exhausting. However, you were also caring for young children and presumably doing housework and night wakings. Dh just does the commutting and working So really how much of your tiredness was down to work or childcare, night wakings etc is not really known.

by that I mean he could have got up and changed 2 year old or middle childs nappy / pyjama pant or got breakfast etc before going out.

also *whippet if he had done it when I asked gp would have only been in there all covered up in hidey hole for less than an hour and completely separate from other guinea pig. I love animals and have always had and cared for family pets but one thing I find hard is dealing with dead ones. Especially when I am home alone with the children including a toddler. Yes I know a single parent would have to but I an not a single parent. (well not yet anyway)

I'd be having a big long chat to your OH/DP about this and expect him to step up a bit especially re lie-ins.

I can see how you'd be squeamish too and although it was awful to leave GP its not the crime of the century to leave it a couple of days.

was "well not yet anyway" a sort of tongue in cheek comment re being a single parent?

I find it upsetting that you didn't go back and move the GP the same day it died. You were distracted at the time of finding it by DC but later when DH made it clear he wasn't doing it did you just think nothing then? It would have been kinder to move it ASAP and if this meant waiting until DC were in bed and doing it then, well that's what I would have done.

I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing one of my pets lay dead within smelling distance of its buddies :(

Please don't be rushing off to get a replacement while your life is to busy. I imagine the GP were not your DHs idea..

Yes your DH should do more. Perhaps not in the week so much but at the weekend he should pull his weight. You work 7 days a week looking after DC.

tbh when I asked him to move it and he said he wasn't going to bury it I still thought he would dispose of it. With the benefit of hindsght I should have doublechecked but I was busy cooking dinner, supervising meal etc and bedtime so I was distracted. It was tongue in cheek but it is ultimatium time I think.

gp were the dcs idea of course and they promised to care for them. Yet they are now a year or 2 down the line less enthusiastic.