to think he should have fucking asked me?

[FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle]

exhusband has got me a ticket to an event tonight.

He didn't ask.

I don't want to go.

DD is going, which I'm fine with - I have her tonight and I'm going to dump and run. (she's 16) or at least, I was. But he's got me a ticket. And he's now getting stroppy that it's a waste of money and he got me and ticket and and and

He's not going btw.

So, AIBU that he should've fucking asked me if I wanted to go, and if I did I'd have bought my own fucking ticket?

Er don't go.
The end.

Can't DD take a friend ? Problem sorted.

If he asks you if you enjoyed it, all you need to reply is, sorry, but I already had other plans for the evening. He's your ex. It's none of his business if those plans were no more than a glass of wine and channel 4.

Sell it eBay...

Give your ticket to a friend of your DD?

"Er no XH, I am not grateful to you for the ticket because I DIDNT WANT THE TICKET and I am not grateful for something I DONT WANT. Clear enough for you?"

Is it possible that he won the tickets and couldn't go himself?

I doubt he won them

I'm not going to go and DD is going to ask around if any of her mates want a ticket.

And I shall sit at home with and

Do you think he did it so that you would pick her up later, or are you doing this anyway?

I don't know why you are bothered about how much he bitches about you, he is your ex and hardly likely to turn your dd against you over something so trivial.
Is it a young persons thing or could you give the ticket away to a neighbour, friend?

I would have been dropping her and picking her up regardless.

I just wish he'd asked me first, before he bought the ticket.

i don't understand the aggro. you said it wasn't expensive, easier to get two and then you can go if you want or your dd can offer it to her mates like she's doing..
i've been known to buy two tickets for loads of things without asking dh, if he doesn't want to come then i offer it round my friends, obviously only if it's something relatively cheap.

he's my ex, not my husband.

He has no right to make decisions about where I am going and what I am doing.

And even if he was still my husband, he'd still have no right to make decisions about where I am going and what I am doing without asking me.

but it's a ticket not a subpoena.. you don't have to use it.

Absolutely and I don't intend to.

Don't go, give it if poss to a friend of DD, & tell him the gesture was kind, but you couldn't go....end of. If he wants to whine let him.

You are right OP, he's assuming he can still tell you what to do. So don't go. Ask your DD if she'd like to take a friend, or as her dad bought the ticket, he clearly thinks it sounds interesting, so she should ask him if he wants to use his ticket that he bought.

It doesn't matter if he thinks you are an ungrateful bitch, if he says to you that you're being ungrateful say "well then learn from your mistake, I won't do something I don't want to just because you've wasted your money on it, so be polite enough to ask next time."

Just don't go then?

What does it matter if he is an ex or not? You are at risk of being thought ungrateful (and ungracious if I dare use that word in such a swear-heavy thread) by anyone who buys you a present which you reject. You hate your ex. You've found something else to be annoyed with him over.

YABU because its your problem and easily dealt with.

I didn't ask him for a present. And his present is putting obligations on me and yes, I will be thought ungrateful and ungracious if I don't go.

Can't you see what's wrong with that?

I can understand that you don't want to go and might be irritated but your reaction here seems completely ott. It's not as if he's had a go at you or called you ungrateful, you're just creating a massive drama yourself.

It doesn't appear from the way you've described things that it was done with any maliciousness it seems like he tried to do something nice but didn't really think it through.

He has got stroppy with me. And called me ungrateful. And said he was trying to be nice. And girned about the "waste of money" and said I should have told him I didn't want to go.

I am venting on here - not at him - to him I've only said he should have asked me and that I won't be able to go.

DD hasn't got any friends who need or want a ticket, so I've offered to pay for the ticket, since he was complaining about the waste of money. But apparently it's not about the money, it's the principle.

I have no idea what I'm supposed to have done wrong - I didn't buy myself a ticket, because I don't want to go, he has never gone before, he has never bought me a ticket before, I didn't know he was buying me a ticket, because he didn't ask me before he bought the bloody ticket.

No disrespect, but you sound awfully invested in an ex husband ?

Still feeling for you here, Frau. I completely get why it's pissed you off - anyone who hasn't had an ex like this won't understand why stuff like this can get under your skin so badly.

If your DD hasn't got a friend who wants to go, give her the ticket anyway to give to a random person in the queue who hasn't yet got a ticket, and then she'll feel like lady bountiful (at your ex's expense)!

Well, if he was a bit less invested in me, then it wouldn't be an issue?

What on earth does someone get off on buying your EX a ticket to an event an event they had the same info as you about, an event they had every opportunity to buy their own ticket to (and didn't!), an event that they know you've never gone to before, an event you don't even want to go to yourself, but you buy your EX a ticket and then present them with it at lunchtime on the day of the event with no regard for what that EX might be doing or what plans that EX might have made?

And somehow I'm the one who's invested?

YABU to get a