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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please help me. Anything please.

59 replies

fuckityfuckup · 01/12/2014 21:15

Posting here for traffic. Dont really know where I should be posting it partially because I cant think straight and am doing it as quickly as I physically can before I throw up.

DH has taken an overdose. He has taken 16 tramadol and is on way to the hospital as we speak. I couldnt go with him as there was nobody to look after DC. I called his parents. They have gone with him. I feel like its my fault. I feel like nothing will ever be ok ever again. What is likely to be happening to him? How long will he be in for? What will he need doing to him? Im not likely to hear much from his parents while they are there, they are people that only use mobile phones in emergencies. My phone got broken tonight and so Ive got DHs here and am relying on his parents for contact. Im just so worried. I just want to so be there. Please tell me hes going to be ok??

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 01/12/2014 23:01

Oh, you poor thing Thanks

Yy to phoning the hospital - ask switchboard to put you through to A+E and ask for an update.

Chances are he will be alright wrt the OD; the bigger battle is going to be figuring out how to help him (and you!) in the short, medium and long term.

It sounds like he has been more stressed than anybody realised (maybe including himself) and, generalising wildly here, sometime men are not very good at asking for help and support when they need it.

I can understand that you are staying at home with your baby - maybe you could visit in the morning? I'd not hesitate to take my baby to A+E or hospital, particularly if he/she is very young; they'll be fine.

I hope you find a way to get some sleep tonight. It sound like you will need your strength for the next few days and beyond.

fuckityfuckup · 02/12/2014 00:03

Thank you everyone. My mother has been invaluable tonight. As has his. She has called a few times and txt with updates and Im really grateful for that considering they aren't usually phone users. It sounds like he will be back either before morning or in the morning so Im just trying to keep strong for him and prepare myself. Im glad I stayed in with the baby, I wish I could be there for him but I dont feel like A&E (certainly not the one he has gone to) is an appropriate place for him right now. Its bad enough when i've had to take DC there anyway.. I just wish I knew things were going to be ok. We have DC2 on the way.

OP posts:
oddsocksmostly · 02/12/2014 00:15

Try to get some sleep if you can.

KeatsiePie · 02/12/2014 00:36

I am so sorry. Please don't blame yourself, and please don't hesitate to reach out for help for him and support for yourself too tomorrow -- the hospital psychiatric team, your own GP.

It really, really was not your fault. I can't stress this enough. I hope you can get some rest Thanks

fuckityfuckup · 02/12/2014 08:13

I got some sleep in the end. He's home now. I never envisaged this happening.

OP posts:
nilbyname · 02/12/2014 08:32

He's been discharged?!

How is he?

Lean in family to help you with childcare and support.

Wishing you the very best of luck and courage.

WheresMrMonkey · 02/12/2014 08:40

Really hope he gets some good help now, please don't take this all on yourself

zeezeek · 02/12/2014 12:24

How are you today? It does sound like this was a massive cry for help rather than an actual suicide attempt, but whatever it was, you are not to blame.

I lost my fiance through suicide several years ago and although I knew he was depressed and he had threatened to kill himself many times, I didn't think that he would ever go through with it. Looking back now, with the benefit of over 25 years and hindsight, it was inevitable - but we are not blessed with that wisdom when we're going through the situation.

People don't always announce their intentions and you cannot possibly have known what was going on in his mind. I know of cases where the partner of someone who killed themselves didn't even know they were depressed - they came home to find them dead, or learnt that they had died when the Police came to the door.

I have also learnt that when people are really determined to kill themselves, they make sure that there is no way that they can be saved - they take massive ODs, they stand in front of a train etc.

Only he knows what he was feeling yesterday and only he knows how he is feeling today. I know that it is hard to see the positives in this situation for you at the moment - but look at it this way: you know he is stressed and depressed and can help him, he will receive treatment/counselling from mental health professionals who will work with him to resolve his suicidal feelings. It is a long, tough road ahead, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. He is alive.

Hope that this post hasn't upset you - my only intention was to bring you some sort of comfort.

Look after yourselves and all my very best wishes.

BuntyBonus · 02/12/2014 17:37

I don't have any advice but just wanted to say that I'm really sorry you and your DH are going through this. It isn't your fault at all and I really hope things get better for you soon.

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