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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please help me. Anything please.

59 replies

fuckityfuckup · 01/12/2014 21:15

Posting here for traffic. Dont really know where I should be posting it partially because I cant think straight and am doing it as quickly as I physically can before I throw up.

DH has taken an overdose. He has taken 16 tramadol and is on way to the hospital as we speak. I couldnt go with him as there was nobody to look after DC. I called his parents. They have gone with him. I feel like its my fault. I feel like nothing will ever be ok ever again. What is likely to be happening to him? How long will he be in for? What will he need doing to him? Im not likely to hear much from his parents while they are there, they are people that only use mobile phones in emergencies. My phone got broken tonight and so Ive got DHs here and am relying on his parents for contact. Im just so worried. I just want to so be there. Please tell me hes going to be ok??

OP posts:
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 01/12/2014 21:38

In confusion or not understanding the dose. In order to stop severe pain and keep taking the tablet.

Original poster
fuckityfuckup · 01/12/2014 21:45

It was a planned overdose. I just dont know what to do

OP posts:
HesterShaw · 01/12/2014 21:47

I imagine the people at A&E will call the Mental Health team and they will get involved.

ItsBeginingToLookAlotLikeChris · 01/12/2014 21:48

I am sure where he is will expect you to call and they will pass on info, dont rely on the parents, call the ward and explain and they will help you Flowers

Gruntfuttock · 01/12/2014 21:48

Do you know why he wanted to die? I was struck by you saying that neither your DH nor his parents might want you there.

Floralnomad · 01/12/2014 21:50

There is probably nothing you can do tonight ,just look after yourself and your baby . The hospital will deal with your DH and once he is medically fit he will be seen by the psychiatric team , that will be tomorrow at the earliest I would imagine . Take care ,do you have any family or friends that you could call to come and stay with you tonight ?

SpringBreaker · 01/12/2014 21:52

I was also struck by you saying your phone got broken tonight too. Please ring someone to come over and keep you company if you can.

Shadow1986 · 01/12/2014 21:53

OP, sorry you are going through this.

My sisters boyfriend took an overdose after they had a big row (sorry for assuming same situation) and he was fine. They sorted him out and he did have to see a psychiatrist before they let him out.

Has he done this kind of thing before?

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 01/12/2014 21:54

Google the number for your local crisis team.

Be aware that any treatment for his mental heath problems will take time.

I think he will be physically ok, there are treatments for overdoses.

Andrewofgg · 01/12/2014 21:57

We are all so helpless. We can all send you our love and wish you well Flowers

Janethegirl · 01/12/2014 22:13

Sorry no help but best wishes and a hand to hold FlowersBrew

ArgyMargy · 01/12/2014 22:18

It is NOT your fault, Fuckity. Hope he's ok.

Original poster
fuckityfuckup · 01/12/2014 22:22

It feels like its my fault. I just wish I could fix it :(

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 01/12/2014 22:29

You know what drove him to do this? Have you heard how he is?

Original poster
fuckityfuckup · 01/12/2014 22:30

Yes everythings got on top of him.. He had lied to me about going to work this morning and gone to his mums instead, and lied to her saying he had the day off when he diddnt. He couldn't handle all of the stress and couldn't face going into work. Then he came home and its spiraling, couldn't handle that I'd found out and that works getting to him. He kept saying he felt like he had failed us and we argued (not badly, just over how he was feeling). He went out and did it. I feel like I've not supported him enough or been there for him enough but I cant physically enable him to cope with things and whatever I do is wrong. I love him so so so much but its not enough to be able to feel like he can cope. Nothing is, Hes just desperate right now.

OP posts:
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 01/12/2014 22:31

This must be a horrible shock. I'm really sorry

I hope you can get someone to come and sit with you as you need company. Alternatively, I would just get a taxi to the hospital with the baby. Staying at home on your own would be awful and, whatever has happened, you are your DH's wife and can provide help and support as well as needing it yourself - you can't do/get either on your own

campingfilth · 01/12/2014 22:33

It is not your fault at all. He chose to take an overdose, it had nothing to do with you. Did he do this with you in the house? Seriously do not blame yourself and you can't fix it, the only person that can do that is your DH.

He will be fine as 16 Tramadol is not a huge overdose. He will have his bloods taken and then when deemed medically fit be referred to the mental health team where he will be assessed and I expect sent home with a referral to community mental health team.

As you have children the nursing staff should have put in a social work referral form so please don't be shocked if you get a call from them at some point. It is standard procedure.

Call A and E and ask to speak to the nurse looking after him they might not tell you anything over the phone but if they refuse ask them to go speak to your DH and get his permission for you to be told whats going on.

pointythings · 01/12/2014 22:34

OP, your DH is in the best place. He will be seen by psychiatry and you and his family now need to rally round him to make sure he gets mental health support. It sounds as if he is in a very bad place, he needs and deserves the help - and so do you.

This isn't your fault. Sometimes things just get too much and there is nothing anyone can do. The main thing is that your DH now has the opportunity to turn things round. Help him do it.

For now, do call the hospital and ask how he is. You are his wife, you have a right to know.

Original poster
fuckityfuckup · 01/12/2014 22:37

Gobbolin baby is in bed and hospital is a fairly long distance away. My mum lives a long way away too. I spoke to her on the phone and she said she diddnt think me getting the baby out of bed and going up there was a good idea. Now im torn. I feel horrible not being there. Would you be taking babies to A&E?

OP posts:
WatchWithMerlot · 01/12/2014 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AdoraBell · 01/12/2014 22:43

Agree you should call the hospital. Sitting at home wondering what is happening is too much at a time like this, especially as you have a baby to look after. Are your in-laws usually supportive? could you ask one of them to come to your house and look after the DCs while you go to the hospital?

This is not your fault and he will now get the help he needs.

Loletta · 01/12/2014 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Purplepixiedust · 01/12/2014 22:50

Call the hospital. Explain when OH was taken in and why and ask for an update. Explain you are his wife and were unable to go with him as you have DC in bed.

They will establish where he is and put you through. Explain again. They will tell you how he is doing.

If he is waiting to be seen, or for tests or something ask them when you should call again for an update. Ask them to tell him you have called if you like, they won't mind.

So sorry you have to go through this. Hope he is ok.

Isabeller · 01/12/2014 22:53

Sending love, I am so sorry you're going through this Flowers

campingfilth · 01/12/2014 22:54

I would not take babies to A and E. Monday nights are often the most busiest well they certainly are in the A and E I work in anyway.

His parents are there so he is not alone. Give them a call.