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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a basic rule of parenting is to be able to spell your DC's name correctly?

77 replies

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 01/12/2014 21:10

DD had a xmas card from her Dad and his new partner, he obviously wrote it as I recognise the hand writing as his and hes spelled her name wrong.

Its not a difficult name to spell.

FYI hes a bit of an absent dad, so I really shouldnt expect too much.

OP posts:
HonestLie · 02/12/2014 08:00

Personally I think he's a twat!

A relatively absent parent who consistently spells their child's name wrong even though it has been pointed out to them previously. Twat!

HonestLie · 02/12/2014 08:02

I wonder OP is he the sort to piss you off/try and get a rise out of you by doing it on purpose given that you have mentioned it before?

Original poster
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/12/2014 08:28

I'm not sure if hes got the guts to try and do it to annoy me, hes a bit of a gutless wonder.

I think he just cant be arsed to do it right, or something thinks that the way it should be spelled, even though he agreed to the spelling when he signed her birth certificate.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/12/2014 08:32

Sanity - the OP said he spelled it Pheobe, not Phebe. And even though Phebe is a correct spelling, it isn't the correct spelling for the OP's dd, and her dad should surely know how to spell his dd's own name?

Whatsthewhatsthebody · 02/12/2014 08:46

What a twat.

clam · 02/12/2014 09:01

Slightly off-topic, and not talking about Phoebe specifically, but I think that if you choose an unusual spelling of any common name, you have to expect that your child (and you) will have a lifetime ahead of you of correcting people about it.

Not their own bloody father though!

Mammanat222 · 02/12/2014 09:03

My aunt still spells my name wrong, I am 34 Shock

(I know it's not quite the same as my own father spelling it wrong but it's still quite bad?)

TarkaTheOtter · 02/12/2014 09:07

YANBU Even if it's a complicated spelling, even if there are variants, a parent should know how to spell their child's name correctly.

Original poster
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/12/2014 09:08

Phoebe is the only way I've seen the name spelled, I didnt know Phebe was a variation.

OP posts:
canweseethebunnies · 02/12/2014 09:26

It would definitely annoy me and I think he's being a twat.

However, I was filling in a firm for dd1 and I couldn't actually remember which spelling we had chosen for her middle name. I had to go and look at her birth certificate Blush

MagicMojito · 02/12/2014 09:46

I think it's shit that he doesn't make too much effort with his dd, he's unreasonable on that point.
Imo Yabu about the name spelling. I write dd2's name wrong alot. airs one of those names that have a masculine spelling and a feminine spelling (think Ashley/Ashleigh) I also alway spell my own very common middle name wrong.

MagicMojito · 02/12/2014 09:48

Jesus I need to preview before I post! Grin

Hopefully it still kind of makes sense.

MothershipG · 02/12/2014 12:52

Tali That's cos my Phebe is unique, init? Wink

...or not! We have a really common surname so when she googles her name she comes across quite a few as well as a pic in the local rag from years ago with Ddog 3 who won a scruffiest dog at a local fete! Grin

Original poster
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/12/2014 12:54

Tbh Mother, my Phoebe just came from Friends (I know!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/12/2014 12:58

Oh, I read a magazine with the name spelled Theobie or Theobe.

OP posts:
MothershipG · 02/12/2014 13:08

Mine too, Tali but DH's choice, not mine. Grin She's 12 now and watching it for the first time, I'd forgotten how obsessed with porn they were! Blush

Original poster
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/12/2014 13:46

Phoebe is also a Titan, a moon of Saturn and a plant.

OP posts:
MothershipG · 02/12/2014 13:49

She's bright and pure and also a Saint...apparently Grin

Davsmum · 02/12/2014 14:05

My ex husband signed our DDs card on her birthday, with his name and new wife's name,.. instead of 'Dad' My DD was only 13 and was really upset about it.

Trazzletoes · 02/12/2014 14:14

Definitely being an arse. And what an arse.

YANBU.

DH vetoed several names for the DCs on the basis that he might mess the spelling up at some point. Fair enough. I would be freaking livid if he mis-spelt them now.

TheHorseHasBolted · 02/12/2014 15:00

I thought this thread was going to be about choosing a sensible spelling in the first place. If it had been, I would have said that while I almost always prefer traditional spellings, I'd respect people's right to choose other variations.

But once the spelling is chosen and registered, then yes, I think it would be strange and perhaps hurtful not to remember it. If one or both parents were not very confident about spelling and seriously thought they might not be able to remember how to spell a name, it would be sensible for them either to choose a simpler name or have it written up somewhere for them to refer to.

Love the combination of Phoebe and Aoife, by the way - and I'm intrigued by the boy's name that can be spelt with or without an H on the end. The only one I can think of (and it's pretty obscure) is Japhet(h)...

CrunchySlippers · 02/12/2014 15:25

i call my oldest DS - "oldest child" and the youngest one "youngest child" sometimes.....

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/12/2014 17:00

I call mine 1, 2 and 3, or Pip, Squeak and Wilfred, Crunchy. Life has got easier now two of the three are away at university, but to my eternal shame, I don't always call ds3 by the right name first time! Blush

Yarp · 02/12/2014 17:21

Good Lord. That's poor

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/12/2014 17:31

I know. I blame my age. Sad